


Three's Company (Ten's A Crowd)

by The_German_Grim_Reaper



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bi!Clara, Multi, Multi doctor, They all appear - Freeform, Work In Progress, and live on the TARDIS together, multi companion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2019-10-31 20:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 53,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17856491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_German_Grim_Reaper/pseuds/The_German_Grim_Reaper
Summary: After the events of Name of the Doctor, several of the Doctor's past (and future) companions are teleported onto the TARDIS due to a bizarre malfunction.  To make matters worse, it's not just companions brought on board- two of the Doctor's past selves appear as well.  Fixing the TARDIS is the easy part- but how will they put up with one another?Heavily inspired by "3 Doctors, 9 Companions, What Could Go Wrong?" on fanfiction.net





	1. Arrivals I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1- Clara.

“Doctor?”Clara called, frowning at the rapidly blinking display of lights on the console.

“Yeah?”He called from under the floor.He rolled out from underneath the grating, flat on his back with his sonic screwdriver between his teeth.

“Are these lights supposed to be doing that?”She asked.As much as the TARDIS liked to mess with her, she didn’t think it would start something in front of the Doctor, especially when he was doing repairs.

“Which lights?What are they doing?”He asked.

“Er, the lights next to the blue lever.”She told him.“They’re blinking on and off really fast.”

“That’s not good.What color are they?”He questioned.

“Some of them are yellow and some of them are sort of purple.”

There was a loud clanging as the Doctor dropped his tools, banging his head violently against the grating as he attempted to sit up.He managed to climb up to the main floor, looking distressed.“Oh this is _very_ not good.”He fretted, rushing over to the lights.

“Why, what is it doing?”Clara asked, hearing the urgency in his tone of voice.

“I was repairing the slipstream navigators and those are very very close to some other very important things- not that the navigators aren’t important, but these other things are even more important- and I must have knocked something loose.”He rambled frantically, pushing a series of buttons on the console and then pulling the blue lever.

“What does that mean? _Doctor_?”Clara demanded, as the lights all turned purple and the time rotor began to glow golden.

“That should have worked!Unless the stabilizers are broken too?”He grabbed the monitor and spun it to face him.The only thing displayed were fragmented bits of code, all in bright golden letters and numbers, occasionally interspersed with purple flashing.

“Doctor. _What_ is happening?”Clara asked a third time.

“The TARDIS has one of the most complicated timestreams in existence.There are mechanisms to help regulate it, to prevent it from imploding on itself, but they must have been damaged.I just tried to activate the backup stabilizers, which should have stopped it, but those must have been damaged too because now the TARDIS is cannibalizing her own timestream.”He explained rapidly.

“What’s going to happen?”Clara asked, doing her best to follow the complicated explanation.She thought she got it, mostly, but she had no idea what it meant to cannibalize a timestream.

“She’s fighting to stabilize herself, but it’s not working.Something is happening.”He continued.

“What?”Clara asked again. 

His eyes met hers, and she could see the raw panic in them.“I have no idea.”

At this point, the rotor was almost too bright to look at.Clara shielded her eyes, feeling the air crackle with energy.

The light died down slowly, and Clara uncovered her eyes.There was a figure standing on the other side of the console.

Clara blinked the black spots out of her eyes, fixing her gaze on the new figure.It was a woman, with dark skin and a military sort of jacket.Clara couldn’t say for sure who it was, but something deep inside of her head recognized her.

There was a heartbeat of silence as Clara and the Doctor stared at the woman, and the woman stared back.Then Clara heard a whisper from beside her.“ _Martha_?”

“Who are you?”The woman- Martha- demanded, looking thoroughly startled to be there.“How do you know my name?”

The Doctor was silent for a moment, gaping at her, and then he tried to speak.“But what... how... this shouldn’t be possible!”

“Did you use a transmat, or...”Martha theorized, before trailing off as she looked around.“Wait a minute.This is the TARDIS.”

“...yes.”Clara told her, glancing at the Doctor with concern.“It is.Who exactly are you?”

“So that means... Doctor?”Martha turned to the Doctor, looking hesitant as she spoke. He nodded in confirmation.“You’ve regenerated.”

“Centuries ago.”He told her.“But how did you get here?We’re in the Time Vortex!”

“I don’t know... I had just gotten off the TARDIS, after we dealt with the daleks and the planets in the sky, and then there was this light.”She told him.To Clara, she added, “I’m Martha, by the way.Martha Jones.”

The name seemed very familiar to Clara, but she couldn’t quite place it.She had the vague sense that Martha might be a doctor or a nurse, or possibly a maid.She presumed those were residual memories from her echoes.

“Clara Oswald.” she introduced herself.“You used to travel with him?”

“Yeah, but he had a different face back then.”Martha nodded, then paused.“It’s complicated-” she began, but Clara cut her off.

“I know about regeneration.”She said with a faint smile.“You were with pinstripes, yeah?”

Martha nodded, looking a bit startled.“But back to the main problem here- how did I get here?If you didn’t teleport me, and I didn’t do it...”

“It’s got to be the TARDIS.”The Doctor explained.“The timestreams are completely unstable.”

“So it’s, what, getting confused what part of the timeline she belongs in?”Clara guessed.

“Sort of.”The Doctor nodded, hitting the moniter and pushing the fragments of code off the edges of the screen.“Think of timelines as bits of string.The average non-time-travelling humanoid would have a string that’s pretty close to straight.But even one trip through time can tangle the string.The TARDIS’s timestream is so complicated, it’s not even a string anymore, it’s just-”

“Wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff.”Martha and Clara both finished then sentence with him, then shared a glance.

“Exactly.But the stabilizers, they allow her timelines to stay that way and not get tangled up.With them gone, her timeline is attempting to straighten itself out.It’s pulling on the tangles and just making them worse.”

“So you’re saying I was on one bit of string in the tangle, and you both were on another, and when the strings got pulled apart I ended up on the wrong one?”Martha clarified.

“Yes, that, exactly.Except it’s nothing like strings, but that’s the closest way I can describe it that you humans would understand.”He agreed.

“Isn’t that gonna change other stuff, though?What if more people jump strings?”Clara asked.

“I thought of that.”He told her.

There was a moment of silence.“And?”Clara prompted.

“They would only be able to jump to this string, since this is when the stabilizers are broken.”He explained.“Probably.This has never happened before, I’m mostly just guessing here.”

“So you’re saying more people could just randomly appear.Out of nowhere.Any moment now.”Clara fixed him with a stare.

“I... should probably fix the stabilizers.”He decided.

“Good idea.”Clara continued to give him a look.He dropped back beneath the grating and picked up his tools.

“Can we do anything to help?”Martha asked, leaning down to talk to him easier.

“Just try not to touch anything.It’s not stable enough, might cause a paradox.”He instructed.“Does the monitor say anything useful?”

“Just more code.And purple flashing.”Clara told him.“Uh... I think it just said ‘angel’ for a second there.But it’s gone now.”

“Angel?Are you sure?”

“No, it was only there for like half a second.”She told him.“What does the purple mean?”

“It’s not purple, it’s mauve.Universal code for danger.”

“So this timeline thing is really dangerous, then?Is the TARDIS gonna explode or something if you don’t fix it?”Martha asked.

“Clara, the TARDIS’s timeline is interwoven with most of the _universe_ by this point... it wouldn’t just be the TARDIS that exploded.Or _im_ ploded, rather.”

“That’s... not good.”Clara agreed with his earlier statement.

“No, it’s not.But I’m sure I’ll be able to fix it before that happens.”He assured her.“Hopefully.If I can figure out what part’s broken.”

“Er, the stabilizers?”Clara suggested.“That’s what you said earlier.”

“Yes but there’s more than one part to the- never mind.I’ll figure it out.”

“Doctor?”Martha sounded very concerned.“The screen’s changed.”

“What does it say?”He questioned, as Clara moved to better see the screen.

“It’s counting down from eleven-hundred.”Martha said.“Seconds, I think.”

“Eleven-hundred seconds, that’s about eighteen minutes.”The Doctor calculated mentally.“Does it say anything else?”

“No.”

There were a few moments where nobody said anything.The only sound was the Doctor fiddling with the controls beneath the console.Then he spoke up again.

“The instability should be mostly centered on this room.If you go to a different room the odds of a paradox should decrease tremendously.”

“Alright.I’ll just go to...”Martha paused.“Is my old room still here?”

“What?Oh, no, I had to delete all the rooms a while back.Long story, may have saved my life.”

“Come on, I’ll make tea.”Clara offered.Martha followed her out of the console room.

“So how long have you been travelling with him?”Martha asked as Clara busied herself making a pot of tea.

“It’s been about... four months now?”Clara guessed.“Longer for me than for him, anyway.”

“How do you mean?”

“He picks me up on Wednesdays.Pretty sure he just skips the time in between but I’ve still got the rest of the week on Earth.”She explained, settling down at the table while she waited for the kettle to boil.

“Why don’t you travel all the time?”Martha asked.“Family on Earth?”She guessed.

“A job.I’m a live-in nanny, I can’t just up and leave.”She explained.At Martha’s disbelieving look, she added, “I do stay here sometimes, but this stupid box keeps deleting my room in the middle of the night.”

“She wouldn’t do that!”Martha argued in defense of the ship.

“It hates me!”Clara complained, and the lights in the kitchen flashed in agreement.“Hey!”She scowled at the ceiling.

Martha couldn’t stop herself from laughing.“Sorry, sorry.”She apologized to Clara.“It’s not that, it’s just- it’s barely been a year for me since I travelled with him.I was standing in front of my Doctor five minutes ago.This is just kind of overwhelming.”

“I can imagine.”Clara agreed, relaxing slightly at the explanation.“So tell me about your Doctor.He was the... tenth, right?”

“Yeah.”Martha nodded.“Hold on, how did you know that?I’ve never met you before.”

“I’ve met your Doctor, sort of- it’s complicated.Timestreams, and,”Clara shook her head.“ _Really_ complicated.”

The shrill whistle of the teapot filled the room, and Clara got up to finish making the tea.She poured two cups, ready to hear all about the Doctor that had come before hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was the first chapter. It's not perfect, but it's what you get. I have like 8 more chapters written, but I'm trying to space them out because I know I won't be able to write very often. I'll try to post once a week, but no promises.


	2. Arrivals II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Martha

“And then the Judoon teleported the entire hospital back to Earth, just before we ran out of air.”Martha finished her story, remembering vividly the feeling of oxygen filling her lungs as the atmosphere reappeared around them.

“And then he asked you to travel with him?”Clara asked, visibly engrossed in the story.

“Well, I had to make sure my family was alright.And he disappeared in all the chaos.”Martha told her.“But later that night, after my brother’s disaster of a birthday party, he showed up again and offered me one trip.Since I saved his life and all.”

“Your story sounds so much more interesting than mine.”Clara admitted.“At least yours had actual aliens- mine was just robots.”

“Nothing wrong with robots,” Martha smiled, just before the door to the kitchen swung open.She looked up to see the Doctor, hair and clothes splattered with grease, looking rather proud of himself.

“I fixed it!”He announced.

“So we won’t be getting any more unexpected guests?”Clara asked, reaching up to ruffle his hair.It looked somewhat awkward, since he was taller than her.She drew her hand back quickly and wiped it on a napkin, making a face.Martha hid a laugh.

“Well, er, no.We still might get guests.”He admitted.

“Well then you didn’t fix it, did you?”Clara asked rhetorically.

“Well- but I- I _sort_ _of_ fixed it.”He amended, looking somewhat put out.

“What part did you fix?”Martha questioned.

The Doctor perked up noticably at a chance to display his genius.“The timestream is stabilized in it’s unstable form.And I managed to reduce chances of a paradox to nearly 0.”

“Stabilized in unstable form?”Martha asked, exchanging a look with Clara.“What does that mean?”

“The universe isn’t going to blow up.And you probably won’t create a paradox.”He clarified.

“Now that the universe isn’t in immediate danger...” Martha began, then trailed off.She should probably let him finish fixing things before she demanded to return to Earth.

“What?”The Doctor asked.

“She wants to go home.”Clara’s voice came from beside her.Martha nodded, unable to deny it now that Clara had said it.

She regretted it instantly from the look of awkward disappointment that appeared on his face.“It’s not that I don’t like being here,” she explained hastily, “but my family is back on Earth.I have to stay with them.”

“Yeah, of course.I’ll drop you off as soon as I can.”He promised, struggling to hide his disappointment.“But I can’t do it until I’ve fixed the TARDIS completely, travelling would increase the odds of a paradox by 500%.”

Martha sighed.“Alright.How long is that going to take?”

“It should only be a few hours, but I can’t do it alone.And before you offer to help,” he added, as Clara and Martha both moved to volunteer, “it would kill a human.High levels of artron energy, only a Timelord could do it.”

“So we have to wait for the timelines to bring us a Timelord?”Clara asked.“Is that even possible?”

“Other Timelords have been on the TARDIS before, just not recently.”He reassured her.“It might even bring a past verson of me, but that’s very unlikely.”

“Wait a second.”Martha looked at the Doctor sharply, a sudden wave of fear washing over her.“It’s not going to bring _him_ , is it?”

“Him?”He asked.A moment later, his gaze darkened as he understood.“Oh.I doubt it; he’s dead.”

“But so are your other regenerations, and you just said _they_ might show up.”Clara pointed out, looking concerned.“I don’t know who you’re talking about, but...”

“Yes, but... even if it can bring dead people, he’s on the other side of the Time Lock.And _that_ , I’m sure is stronger than one destabilized timestream.”

Martha sighed in relief.“The Master.”She explained to Clara.“Another Timelord, he took over the world as Harold Saxon.”

“Wait, _the_ Harold Saxon?The Prime Minister?”Clara asked, looking rather shocked.

“Long story.He died, got resurrected, brought back Gallifrey and got stuck on it... I’ll have to tell you later.I’m going to go work on the scanners, see if I can at least get some idea how long it’ll be...”The Doctor told them, before ducking out of the room.

“Well.”Clara said, after a moment of silence while both girls stared at the now-empty doorway.“That was interesting.”

There was another awkward silence for a moment before Martha spoke.“I have a job, a family on Earth.I can’t be stuck here forever.”

“It’s not his fault.”Clara replied at once in the Doctor’s defense.

“I know.”Martha sighed.“It’s just so hard sometimes.”

“Hey.We’ll figure it out as soon as we can.And when we do, we can drop you off right after you left- time machine, remember?”Clara was clearly trying to cheer her up, but it wasn’t working.

“You mean, right after I _vanished_ _into_ _thin_ _air_.”Martha corrected bitterly.“I was in the middle of the bloody pavement- it’ll be a miracle if nobody saw me go.”

“That... is a bit of a problem.”Clara admitted.“But the snogbox does that all the time and nobody pays it any mind.”

Martha half-laughed, startled by the nickname.“Why do you call her that?”She asked.

“What, snogbox?It was a joke I made once that just sort of stuck.”She shrugged.“Maybe I wouldn’t call it that if it would stop _deleting_ _my_ _bedroom_!Or whatever.”She smiled sweetly at Martha, as if she hadn’t just been glaring at the wall.

“Right.”Martha laughed.“Have you ever thought that she might stop deleting your bedroom if you stopped calling her that?”

“Well, I would stop calling it that if it would stop putting hologram leopards in the loo.”Clara sounded very bitter about this occurance, although she was still smiling.

That startled another laugh out of Martha.“In the- in the loo?”

“I don’t like to talk about it.”Clara told her darkly.

Martha eyed her warily.The TARDIS had never done that kind of thing when she’d been travelling- maybe she was more violent now?Or maybe it was just Clara.Martha hoped that hanging around Clara wouldn’t spread the hologram leopards to her own bathroom.Then she scolded herself for thinking that.The TARDIS disliking people wasn’t _contagious_.

“So you said-” Clara began, but was cut off by a bright light shining through the doorway.It faded quickly, but Martha was left with the feeling that something was not quite right.

“How long’s it been?” Her eyes met Clara’s.

“Almost twenty minutes.”

“The countdown...”

They rushed into the console room, Martha half-expecting to find the Master standing over the Doctor’s corpse.Instead, there was a young man with light brown hair.He looked very confused, and stumbled back into the seats.

“Are you alright?” Martha asked, as Clara called,

“Doctor!”

“I- I’m fine.Where’s Amy?How did I get in here?”The man asked.

The Doctor came up from beneath the grate, still covered in grease.“What was that light?Has someone...”he trailed off as he saw the newcomer.

“Doctor?”The man asked.

“... _Rory_?”The Doctor stared at him, looking completely flummoxed.“You- I-”At that point, he seemed to give up on forming sentences, and pulled the man into a hug.

Rory pulled away, making a face.“What is that?”He asked, looking down at the grease that was now coating his skin and clothes.

“You’re _alive_!”The Doctor exclaimed joyfully, completely ignoring the question.“The paradox should’ve torn you apart!”

“Where’s Amy?”

At that, the Doctor stopped.His smile faded.“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“We were in the graveyard and there was a gravestone with my name on it.And then...”Rory gestured to the TARDIS around him.“I’ve time travelled, haven’t I?”

Martha exchanged a look with Clara.The atmosphere of the room had just changed drastically from ‘happy reunion’ to almost funeral-levels of depressing.Martha wasn’t sure what the Doctor was about to tell Rory, but she knew that it wasn’t good.

“You were touched by an angel and sent back in time.That was _your_ gravestone.We couldn’t go back for you, the paradoxes... Amy let the angel take her, hoping it would send her to the same time.”

“But we can get her back, can’t we?The TARDIS, we can-”

“Her name was on the gravestone.Another paradox would rip New York apart.”The Doctor warned him.“We can never go back there in 1938 again.”

“Then we go in 1939.Or we go to New Jersey and take a cab.Or we go to the graveyard and stop her from being taken at all.”

“We can’t.It’s a fixed point, Rory.The moment we read her name on the gravestone, her fate was sealed.”The Doctor shook his head.

Rory looked devastated.“There has to be _something_.”He insisted.

“The most we can do is hope she jumps strings, like you did.If she does that we at least have a chance.”

“How can a name on a gravestone make it a fixed point?”Clara asked beside her.“That just doesn’t make sense.”

“Once you’ve read it, it has to happen.Otherwise it would make a paradox, which normally could be manageable, but not in New York 1938.There are already too many paradoxes there.”The Doctor explained.

“So even if his suggestions don’t work, why does that mean she has to die?”Martha asked, gesturing to Rory.“Can’t you just fake her death?You could put her name on an empty grave.”

The Doctor stared at her in awe.Rory looked hopeful, and Clara looked like she thought the Doctor was an idiot.

“Martha Jones, you’re a genius.”He breathed.

“So we can go get her?”Rory clarified.

“No, we still can’t travel there- we could maybe go 1939, like you said, but even that’s risky.Anywhere close to the right time is too risky.But if she jumps strings, like you did...And then we’ll deal with the gravestone situation once we’ve got her safe.”

“See, this is why you need us around.To point out the simple stuff.”Martha told the Doctor with a small smile.

“Sorry, who are you again?”Rory asked her.

“Dr Martha Jones.I used to travel with him, a while back.”She introduced herself, offering her hand for a shake.

“Clara Oswald.”Clara smiled, shaking his hand after Martha.“Part-time traveller.Do I know you?”

“You seem... really familiar, yeah.Oswald, you said?”Rory furrowed his brows, obviously trying to remember where he’d met her before.

“I think I... Nina?”She guessed, recognition lighting up in her eyes.

“I’m not- oh my god, Oswin Oswald?”He realized.“Didn’t you die?”

“It’s complicated.I’m not Oswin, exactly, but kind of.I’ll explain later.”She told him.“What was your real name again?”

“Rory Williams.My wife and I travel with him, or we did.I guess if this is the future...”he introduced himself, looking a bit lost.“How did I get here?”

“We’ve been calling it 'jumping strings'.”Martha explained, looking at the Doctor for confirmation. “The timeline stabilizers are broken, so people are getting pulled from other bits of timeline to this one.I got here the same way you did.”

“Weeping Angels?”He asked.

“No- although I have dealt with those before- but I got pulled from my point in the timeline to this one.”

“Any word on when the next jump will be?”Clara was asking the Doctor.“Another countdown, or anything?”

“No, but if I had to guess, I’d say about twenty minutes.There’ll probably be slightly more time in between each jump.”He theorized.

“Will the next one be Amy?”Rory wondered.

“Maybe.No way to know for sure until I can get these scanners working.”He told them.“You three go swap stories or whatever it is you do, I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now Rory has joined the crew as well! Another chapter to come next Wednesday.


	3. Arrivals III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 - Ten

The Tenth Doctor could feel the energy building up, ready to burn him at any moment.He knew this was it- he couldn’t put off his regeneration any longer.And then, with a bright burst of light, it was over.

He looked down, a bit confused.Regeneration always hurt, but this time he hadn’t felt anything but healing.His suit still seemed to fit and he didn’t feel any different, except there was a bit of a breeze now.He reached up to feel his hair and it was the same.He... hadn’t regenerated?

“Doctor?”He knew that voice.He spun around to see Martha Jones standing between three other people.There was a man with floppy hair on her left, a short brunette girl on her right, and a taller man with light brown hair to the right of the brunette.

Martha stepped in front of the others, glancing at them as if looking for permission.“Doctor,” she began, “I’m going to need you to stay calm.”

“I was regenerating.”He spoke, looking at her in confusion.“How did you get here, what’s happened?”

“We’ve been here.The timelines are unstable, this is your future.”She tried to explain.The Doctor stared at her blankly.

“My future?Martha, that’s... this isn’t my TARDIS.”He realized.“What have you done with my TARDIS?”That question was directed at the other three.

“It’s _my_ TARDIS,” The floppy-haired man argued, “I redecorated.”

“Not helping.”The brunette told him quietly.The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver, pointing it at the console and doing a quick scan.

“Oh, for-” the floppy-haired man sighed, stepping past Martha.He put his hands on the Doctor’s head, and before he could react, a rush of information was forcing its way into his head.He stumbled back, the knowledge fitting itself into his brain as he fought back a pounding headache.“Get it now?”The man- _his_ _future_ _self_ \- asked.

“You’re me?”The Doctor questioned.

“Finally got it, have you?”

“You?Blimey, that’s a step down.”The Doctor commented.“So I assume Martha got here the same way I did- do you two travel with him?”He gestured vaguely to the other Doctor, clearly talking to the short girl and the other guy.

“I do.I’m Clara Oswald.”The brunette introduced herself, shaking his hand.“Although, I think we’ve met.”

“Have we?”He asked.She _did_ look very familiar, but he couldn’t place her or the name.

“Rory Williams.I travelled with him before Clara.”The other man greeted him.

“This is gonna get confusing.”Clara pointed out.“Having two people called ‘Doctor.’”

“Not to mention one person who actually is a doctor, and a nurse.”Martha added.“Rory and I can just use our names, but what are we supposed to call you two?”

“I can be the Doctor and he can be Sandshoes.”The other Doctor suggested, sniggering slightly.

“Hey!”The Doctor protested, glaring at his future self.“They’re not sandshoes!And if you’re gonna call me that, then you can’t be the Doctor either.”

“He’s right.”Martha told the other Doctor.“That’s only fair.”

“You guys are making this too complicated.”Clara told them all.“You’re the Eleventh Doctor, and he’s the Tenth, right?”She looked at each of them in turn.

They nodded.

“So, he’s Ten and you’re Eleven.Simple.”She decided.

“Well, I guess...”The newly dubbed ‘Ten’ trailed off, glancing at Eleven.“That does make sense.”

Eleven huffed, but nodded his agreement.“Fine.But this is still _my_ TARDIS.”

“But how is this possible?”Ten asked.“I was regenerating, and then suddenly I was here and I’m still me.”

“Why were you regenerating?”Eleven asked.“What was the last thing that happened?”He looked like he had a pretty good guess already, but Ten answered anyway.

“I absorbed too much radiation.Right after Gallifrey went back into the Time Lock.”He told him.“Isn’t that what happened to you?”

“Yes, but I didn’t get pulled here.I regenerated into this body, and crashed into Amelia’s backyard.”Eleven shared a small smile with Rory, which Ten didn’t quite understand but he assumed that they’d both known this Amelia person.

“But how do you exist, if I never regenerated into you?”

“Think about how you described regeneration.”Eleven prompted.

“It’s like I die and a whole new man walks away with my memories.”Ten paraphrased.“But that’s just a metaphor, we’re still the same person.Our timelines are the same.You can’t exist unless I become you.”

“And you did.You must have been taken from the last moment you were you, the instand before you became me.Like a... a blip in the timeline, where we’re both there for a split second.So you came here, but you still became me there.”Eleven theorized.

“But how would that make sense?That... you don’t know what you’re talking about, so you?My future self is an idiot.”Ten groaned.“You’re just making stuff up to sound clever.”

“I- well- maybe.”Eleven admitted.“But do you have a better explanation?”

“No, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.”Ten retorted.

“Oh please.Like you can talk- ‘spatio-temporal hyperlink?’”Eleven mocked.Ten scowled, not liking being called out.

“So are you going to fix it?The broken stabilizers?It is _your_ TARDIS, after all.”Ten sneered.

“For your information, I had to wait for another Timelord to show up.It’s a two-person job, you know.”

“Then let’s fix it.Unless there’s anybody else you’re waiting for?”Ten asked sarcastically.

“Actually, yes.”Eleven told him.Ten stared at him.“Amy’s trapped in New York 1938, and we can’t go back to get her, so we have to wait for her to jump strings.”

“Trapped?How can she be trapped?”Ten asked.“Who’s Amy?”

“Rory’s wife, Weeping Angels.Any other questions?”Eleven sounded rather annoyed.

“Oh, you’re married?Congratulations.”Ten told Rory pleasantly.Rory looked rather surprised, but nodded his thanks.“Have you at least got a timey-wimey detector set for it?”

“No, I was trying to fix the scanners.”

“Sorry, a _what_ detector?”Clara asked, sounding like she was trying not to laugh.

“Timey-wimey.”Ten told her absent-mindedly, as he pulled the monitor over to him and began looking at the fragments of code.

“And what does that do, exactly?”She questioned, still sounding extremely amused.

Ten, Eleven, and Martha all answered at exactly the same time.“It goes _ding_ when there’s stuff.”

“ _What_?”Rory asked, sounding incredulous, as Clara burst out laughing.

“He made one when we were stuck in 1969.”Martha told them.“To let us know when the Weeping Angels went someone back.”

“You’ve met the Angels too?”Rory asked her.

“Yeah, they sent us back in time and we were stuck for months.”She told him.

“I love timey-wimey detectors, they’re so useful.”Ten told them, feeling the need to defend his invention.“They don’t just detect Angels, I could calibrate one to detect the fluctuations in time energy to give us a better idea when the next jump will be.”

“Yeah, dead useful.The bit with the eggs was iffy, though.”Martha agreed.

“Well it won’t boil eggs if I have proper parts to make it from.Honestly, that was one time.”He shook his head.Why couldn’t she let it go?

“That poor hen _exploded_!”Martha argued.“It was awful!”

“Sorry, what?”Clara asked, looking between them.Ten ignored her and focused on the screen, hitting the top of it with his palm.Nothing happened, so he hit a few specific buttons on the console, and the bits of code cleared away.It only took him a few minutes to hook up his brand new timey-wimey detector to the monitor, so that it displayed a fluctuating graph of time energy.

“See, when it reaches that red dotted line, that should be when we get another jump.Looks like it’ll be another twenty-five minutes or so.”He told them proudly.

“Can you tell who it’ll be?”Rory asked.

“Sorry, no idea.”Ten told him.“Maybe my future self could try and work something out, do something useful for once.”

“Hey!”Eleven protested.“I was doing fine on my own before you got here!”

“There was a countdown before Rory showed up,” Martha told him helpfully, “and the screen said ‘angel’ for a moment.So it at least gave us a clue.”

“Thank you for being helpful.”He told her, shooting a glare at his future self.“Did it say anything for me?If it does that every time, that would be _very_ helpful.”

“I don’t know.The Doctor- Eleven- sent us out of the room.”She told him.“Ask him.”

Ten turned to Eleven.“I was down there, trying to actually fix this.I wasn’t looking at the monitor.”

“Fat lot of good you are,” Ten complained, shaking his head and pulling back up the code on a smaller monitor.“Martha, keep an eye on that and let me know if anything shows up.Eleven, try and do something useful.Clara, Rory, keep him out of trouble.”

“Oi!”Eleven protested.“I’m 1200 years old, I don’t need babysitters!”

“Yeah, you kind of do.”Clara told him.“Come on, you can at least try and figure out who else will show up.”

 

 

Twenty-five minutes later, as predicted, the rotor lit up again.When the light cleared, there was a young woman with an Afro and a rainbow-striped shirt standing next to the console.She had her arm stretched out as if she was holding onto something that was no longer there.

“Er- who are you?”She asked, looking very confused, but somehow managing to smile.

“I’m the Doctor,” Ten greeted her after a moment, looking around at the rest of the people there.“Er... does anybody know her?”

“No, you’re not, I know the Doctor and you are not him.”She told him.“How did I get here?This looks like the TARDIS but it’s not the same.”

“No, I’ve never met her.”Eleven replied quietly.

“It it pulling people from your _future_ too now?”Ten asked him incredulously.He turned to the girl, who seemed to be doing her best to take on everything about the room and the people in it.

“You travel with the Doctor?”Clara was the one to ask.

“Yeah.”The girl nodded.“Where is he, what have you done with him?”She sounded like she was starting to get upset.

“Has he ever told you about regeneration?”Ten asked her.If he hadn’t told her, this was going to get very messy.

She paused, considering.“Yeah.A bit.He didn’t explain it much.”

“Well, the thing is, I am the Doctor.Just not the version you’re used to.”Ten told her, relieved that she at least had the basic knowledge of regeneration.“So’s he, apparently,” he gestured to Eleven, “but more importantly, I am.” (“Oi!”Eleven protested, but was ignored by literally everybody.)

“Okay...” She began, “but you don’t know who I am, which means you’re from the past, right?But you didn’t know me before we met, so how can you be meeting me in the past?”

“That is actually a very good question.”Ten acknowledged.“I’m not completely sure, because not much is making a lot of sense right now, but my guess would be that either my future self is a very good actor, or his memory of this was wiped somehow.That can happen sometimes.”

“And you’re both him?Both of you?”She asked.

“Yeah.I know it’s confusing, but-”

“It’s not _confusing_ , it’s just funny.”She told him, holding back a laugh.“You’re _such_ a hypocrite.”

“What?”

“You acted like it was such a big deal when this happened to Missy, but you’re doing the exact same thing.I mean, I suppose your past versions probably aren’t genocidal maniacs, but... I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, should I.”It wasn’t a question.

Time slowed down.Ten’s thoughts were swirling almost faster than he could think them.Missy, past versions (another Timelord?), genocidal... he came to the obvious conclusion very quickly, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“Doctor...” Martha began.She trailed off, glancing at him with fear in her eyes.

“This, ah, this ‘past version’ of Missy, did he have a name?”Ten asked, eyes wide as he looked at the girl.

“Am I allowed to tell you that?”She asked.“Yeah, he called himself the Master.Tried to kill us, actually, did a pretty good job of it.”

“ _Doctor_ ,” Martha began again, this time looking at Eleven, “you said he couldn’t come back.”She did not sound happy with Eleven, and Ten briefly wondered why they had been talking about the Master.

“Did he look like Harold Saxon?”Eleven asked the girl.

“Yeah, I guess.I was kind of preoccupied.”She replied.“...is that bad?”

“Did he say how he got out of the Time Lock?”Ten questioned her.

“I don’t know.Maybe.”She told them, looking a bit lost.“Sorry, who are the rest of you?”

“What?Oh, sorry, I’m Rory.”Rory introduced himself.

“Martha.”

“Clara.”

“We all used to travel with him.”Martha added.“Clara still does.Rory and I got here the same way you and the- and Ten did.”

“Who’s Ten?”

“Oh, that’s me.”Ten explained.“Because I’m the tenth regeneration of the Doctor.And he’s Eleven.”

“Oh.Ok.I’m Bill.”

“So what were you saying about the Master?”Clara asked, bringing them back to the subject on hand.

Ten focused his gaze on Bill, ready to find out exactly how his enemy had gotten out of the Timelock- and how to stop it.


	4. Arrivals IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Bill

“I lived with him for... a long time.Had no clue who he really was.”Bill shook her head, clutching her cup of tea.“By the time I realized...”

“What happened?”Martha asked softly.She, of all the companions on board, was the only other one who had meet the Master before.

“Ten years.I waited for ten _years_ and he missed me by two bloody hours.”If Bill sounded bitter about that, it was because she was.She was _very_ bitter.

“The Doctor?”Clara asked.All of the companions- Clara, Martha, Rory, and Bill- were sitting in the kitchen while the Doctors waited in the console room for the next jump.

“Yeah.I was a human for ten bloody years and he showed up two hours after I got turned to a Cyberman.”

“A Cyberman?That’s permanent, how are you human again?”Rory questioned her.

“Oh, actually, I’m not.”She admitted.“It’s really complicated, I’ll get there.”

“If you waited for ten years, how old were you when you started traveling?”Martha wondered.Bill hadn’t even considered how it looked.

“Twenty.Same age I am now.”Before they could question that absurd statement, she continued.“The emotional inhibitors hadn’t been completed yet, so I managed to fight off the programming and stay me.Long story short, our friend Nardole took all the civilians to a different floor, I have no idea where Missy and the Master went but I think they both escaped, and the Doctor blew up the whole bottom of the ship.I gave into the programming and almost killed him, but then...”She trailed off, remembering the rush of emotions she’d felt when she’s seen Heather.

“But then what?” Martha asked.

“There’s a lot of backstory here that I’m not going to go into, but basically this girl I like had previously gotten eaten by a puddle and became this sort of god.And then she went missing for a long time, but she showed up just in time and transformed me into something like her.We brought the Doctor back to the TARDIS and we were gonna see the universe together, and then... this happened.”She gestured to the room around her.

“I’m sorry, did you just say you’re a _god_?”Martha did not look like she believed Bill.

“Technically a Pilot.I have no idea how to use my powers or anything, seeing as I just got them half an hour ago, but Heather could transform me from a Cyberman to a human with a wave of her hand.She said it was easy because it was ‘just atoms.’So yeah, we’re talking god-level power here.”

“ _Just_ _atoms_?Are you kidding me?That’s- that’s- and I thought my story was weird.”Clara shook her head.“Just atoms.”

“Why, what’s your story?”Bill questioned her, but before Clara had a chance to reply, there was a knock on the kitchen door.

Everybody exchanged a look.The Doctors had never been known to knock.Had someone else jumped strings already?It _had_ been almost an hour.Hadn’t the Doctors said half an hour?Rory stood up and opened the door.

It was the Doctor- or the one they _said_ was the Doctor, anyway.Ten.“Martha?Can you come out here for a second?”He asked.

Martha glanced at the others before getting up.“Yeah, what’s wrong?”She wondered.

“Oh, nothing, just a bit of an issue with someone who might be showing up soon.”He closed the door behind them, so Bill couldn’t hear what was said.

“D’you reckon it’s alright?”Bill asked the others.“Are we in danger or something?”

“He would have told us, wouldn’t he?If we were in danger?”Clara asked them.“He said nothing was wrong.”She didn’t sound like she believed her own words.

“Rule number one.”Rory said.He sounded like he was quoting someone else’s words, maybe from a long time ago.“The Doctor lies.”

“Martha’s dealt with the Master before, maybe he _is_ coming.”Clara suggested.

“But so have I.Two of him.You’d think they would’ve gotten me if that was it.”Bill pointed out.“...Is someone sick?Are they worried it’s gonna pull someone off their deathbed, or something?Martha is a proper doctor.”

“He did seem worried.”Rory agreed, not looking pleased at this idea.“Who could it be, though?”

“Not Amy, he would’ve at least told you _that_.”Clara decided.“Must be someone who travelled with Ten, if he’s so concerned.”

“Doesn’t have to be from the past.”Bill pointed out, gesturing to herself.

“But if they know about it, it does.”Clara argued.Bill nodded, acknowledging her point.“Of course, this is all assuming we’ve got it right.”

“Course.Could be something completely different.”Bill agreed.

“Probably is, yeah.”Rory agreed.

“...So how long are we gonna be waiting here, anyway?”Clara asked.“Should we go out there and check?”

“They’ll tell us when someone gets here.”Rory assured her.“I wonder if it’s someone we know...”

“Amy?”Clara guessed.At his expression when he heard her name, she continued, “You must love her a lot.”

“I do, of course I do, I-“ Rory shook his head.“Did you know we had a daughter?”

“Had?”Bill asked, before realizing that she probably sounded insensitive.She didn’t even know who Amy was, Bill had only just got here.

“Oh, no, she’s fine, she’s alive.”Rory was quick to assure her.“She’s actually married to the Doctor.”

That was quite possibly the strangest thing Bill had heard all day, and she had heard a lot of strange things.“I’m sorry, _what_?”She asked, choking on her tea.

“Your daughter is _River_ _Song_?”Clara questioned at the same time, sounding absolutely incredulous.

There was a short pause, in which Rory looked back and forth between them.“...yes?”He said after a moment.“You know her?”

“We’ve met.”Clara replied, sounding a bit strange.If Bill didn’t know better, she would’ve said Clara was upset- and since she had literally no way of knowing better, she supposed that she might be.“I assume there’s a lot of time travel involved, then?”

As Rory nodded, opening his mouth to either explain further or to ask for details on their meeting, Bill cut him off.“Hold on a minute, can we just go back to the part where the Doctor has a wife?”

“You mean you haven’t met her?”Rory questioned.

“No.”Bill told him.“Should I have?”

“And you’re supposed to be from the future?”Clara joked.“Although, to be fair, I only met her the once and it was after I’d been traveling with him for months.”

“She used to visit more often than that.”Rory commented.“You’d think he would at least talk about her.How long did you say you’d travelled with him?”

“I’ve known him for a year.Sorry, mate, he never mentioned her.”Bill was genuinely apologetic.Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Clara’s entire expression change, and turned to see what was wrong.

Clara’s eyes were wide.She glanced at Rory, as if to make sure he wasn’t watching, before mouthing to Bill: _He_ _doesn’t_ _know_ _that_ _she’s_ _dead_.

Bill’s heart skipped a beat. _What_? She mouthed back, but Clara did not get a chance to reply.Rory had seen Bill’s lips move and had now turned to see both of them.

“What?”He asked, bemused.

“Nothing!”Bill and Clara chorused in perfect unison.Clara added, “Just, you know, girl stuff.”

Rory accepted that answer dubiously, and looked like he was about to return to the previous topic of conversation, but Bill beat him to it.“Why don’t we go check on the Doctors?It must be almost time, now.”

“Yes!The Doctors!That’s a great idea.”Clara agreed far too quickly, practically jumping out of her seat.Bill eyed her warily but followed her out of the room, with Rory trailing behind them.

“Why did you say that?”Bill hissed to Clara as they walked down the hallway.“Girl talk?Really?”

“What was I supposed to say?”Clara hissed back.“I don’t want to have to tell him!”

“And what do you mean, she’s dead?”Bill asked her, still in a very hushed voice.“That’s not...”

“It doesn’t matter.”Clara told her quietly.“We’ll make the Doctor explain.”

“And you’re ok with that?”Bill asked.She could hardly blame Clara for not wanting to break the news, but it seemed kind of unfair to spring it on the Doctor, either.

“I don’t really understand it myself, and I’m not telling someone I just met an hour ago that his child is dead.”Clara retorted.Bill had to concede her point.

“Doctor!”Bill greeted them both, as she and Clara both stepped into the console room.Rory was just behind them, looking like he had a great many questions.

“Yes?”Ten and Eleven both asked at the same time.Eleven glanced at Ten with a big grin at this perceived coincidence, but Ten ignored him.

“Do you have a minute?To chat?”Clara asked them both.

They exchanged a look.“We’re a bit busy right now.Is it important?”Ten asked after a few moments.

“Yes.”Clara told him.“You know what, why don’t you keep working, and I’ll steal Eleven away for a little bit?Bill can take over for him.”

“I can?”Bill asked.“I mean, yes, I can.”

“Wait a second.”Ten looked deep in thought as he glanced between Clara and Eleven.“You two aren’t...?”

“Aren’t what?”Eleven asked, completely obliviously.Clara spluttered.

“No!No, we are not _sneaking_ _off_ _to_ _have_ _a_ shag!”She defended her honor.Bill covered her mouth to stop from laughing.Martha was not so lucky, and Clara glared at her for daring to think this was funny.Although, Bill had to admit, it was very funny.

“Are we?”Eleven asked, looking at Clara with dawning realization in his eyes.“You- _Clara_ _Oswin_ _Oswald_!Are you trying to sleep with me?”

“No!”Clara snapped, clearly getting fed up.“I just said, I am _not_ trying to sleep with you!This actually is important!”

“Are you sure?Because it sounds like you’re trying to sleep with me!”He argued.

“We’re here because Rory wants to know why you never talk about River!”Clara shouted over him, giving him a death glare that actually made Bill shiver.Eleven gaped like a fish, then wordlessly followed Clara and a very confused Rory out of the room.

“So... what are you working on, then?” Bill asked Ten, doing her best not to sound awkward.

“Er... I’m trying to glue these electro-dampeners onto the ends of these wires.”He told her.“So the voltage is safe for humans.”

Bill, who had just been reaching out to touch one of the wires, pulled her hand back as if she’d been burned.“Is it going to electrocute me?”She questioned him.

“What?Oh, no, it’s not been activated.Perfectly safe.”He assured her.He moved the device in his hands so that she could better see it.It looked like some sort of metal hat, with large nodules and thick silver wires wrapping around where the head would be.

“And what’s it supposed to do?”She wondered, taking the bottle of glue from where Eleven had dropped it.She carefully dabbed a small bit on the end of a wire, then wrapped a small bit of foam around it so that it matched the others.

“It’s called a Chameleon Arch.”He told her, as he started in on the next wire.“It can rewrite DNA to change a Timelord into a human.”

“Oh.”She blinked.“And... you’re trying to turn a human back into a Timelord?”She guessed.

“Not quite.”Ten shook his head.“This thing also rewrites your memories.We’re trying to take away the Timelord memories from someone with human DNA, so they don’t burn up her entire brain.”

“Right.Sounds bad.This is what you needed Martha for, then?”

“She’s the only one who’s dealt with the Arch before, and she knows Donna.And she’s an actual doctor, so she can make sure it’s safe.”

“Then why isn’t she working on the hat?”Bill asked him, looking to where Martha was standing in front of the monitor and jotting down notes.

“She’s trying to figure out whether I can act as a conduit without liquifying my organs.I _said_ it was fine, but she insisted on double checking.”He sounded very put out at this.

“Honestly, it’s almost like you _want_ your intestines turned to soup.”Martha muttered.Ten ignored her in favor of gluing more dampeners on the hat.

Bill laughed.“Blimey.”

“What?”Ten asked, looking offended.

“Nothing.”She shook her head.“It’s just, you really _are_ the same.Younger and less grumpy, but you’re still the same.”

“I hope he’s not _too_ much older.”Ten’s face contorted into something that could almost be called a pout- if Timelords could ever do something as undignified as pout.“It’s hard on the knees.”

“ _That’s_ your complaint?”Bill asked, raising an eyebrow.“I’d have thought you’d be more worried about the hair.”

Ten reached up to ruffle his hair almost subconsciously.“It’s that bad?”His voice was high and wavering.

Bill leaned in conspiratorially.“ _Grey_.”

Ten gulped.“Could’ve been worse, I suppose.Could’ve been bald.Although, I was really hoping for ginger.”

Bill laughed.“Sorry to disappoint you.”

At that moment, the others re-entered the room.They all looked rather subdued.Rory, especially, had tear stains on his cheeks, but Eleven looked miserable and Clara looked like she would rather be anywhere else.

“Right!”Ten exclaimed, jumping up.“We’ve about finished attaching these dampeners.Martha, anything on the scanner?”

“Next jump in three minutes.”She reported.“No hints this time, though.”

Bill hesitated.“What do we do if it’s the Master?Missy, I can deal with, but the Master...”

Ten’s eyes flashed with something dark and grim.  "I don't know.”


	5. Arrivals V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Rory

Rory Williams was having a terrible day.First, he’d watched himself die.Then he’d killed himself, been resurrected and sent back in time, and then teleported to another Doctor’s TARDIS.And then, he’d found out that his daughter was dead, and apparently had been for quite some time.And to top it all off, he _still_ didn’t have Amy by his side.

It hadn’t been the Master that teleported in next.It hadn’t been Amy, either, much to his dismay.It hadn’t even been Donna, who the Doctors had apparently been so worried about.No, it had been some blonde girl he’d never heard of, who had taken one look at Ten and slapped him in the face.

Now Rose- that was her name, apparently- was sharing a heartfelt reunion with Ten.Clara was making another round of tea, while Bill was taking a nap in Clara’s bedroom.Martha had finally declared Ten’s plan “passable” and he and Eleven had finished their modifications to the Chameleon arch.Martha and Eleven were catching up in the console room, keeping a close eye on the monitor.That left Rory, with nothing to do and no one to talk to, standing awkwardly in the hallway.

He supposed he could go talk to Clara, or join in on Martha and Eleven’s conversation.But he’d just found out his child was dead- he didn’t want to talk to near-strangers, or someone who had admitted to causing her death.He wanted to talk to Amy, but she wasn’t here.He tried going to sleep in their bedroom, which apparently hadn’t been deleted, but there were photographs of River on the nightstand and that had made him start crying again.

“Milk and one sugar?”Clara asked, offering him a mug of tea.

Rory took it with a quiet “Thank you.”He cradled the mug in both hands, savoring the warmth that seeped into his fingers.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”Clara asked.“A few hours ago it was just me and the Doctor- Eleven, I mean- and now there’s seven of us.And I can’t even imagine what it must be like for you.”

“Yeah.And more on the way.”Rory added.

For a moment, Clara looked confused.Then realization dawned in her eyes.“Amy.”

“It’s only been an hour for me, but what if it’s longer for her?What if she’s stuck in 1939 for months before she turns up here?”He asked, the horrifying possibilities running through his mind.“What if she _never_ turns up?”

“Hey.She’ll be here.”Clara promised him.“From the sound of it, all of you have jumped from the last moment the TARDIS could sense you.So the moment after the angel gets her, she’ll be safely here.And there should be another jump in just a few minutes, so maybe she’ll be here sooner than you think.”

Rory sighed.“I hope you’re right.”He took a sip of his tea, and almost spat it out.“That’s hideous!”He complained, forcing himself to swallow it.

“Oi!”Clara looked offended.“I make great tea!”

“Are you sure you didn’t give me Rose’s tea?”He asked, holding the offending substance far away from him.“There have got to be at least four sugars in that.”

“No, Rose’s is just milk.She said sugar ruins the flavor.”Clara frowned.“Maybe sugar on the TARDIS is stronger than normal?”

“Here, try it.”He offered her the cup, and she took it.She took a small sip and then, having less self-control than Rory, spat it right back out.

“That is hideous.”She agreed.“I didn’t put that much sugar in any of the teas.”

“Well, you must’ve.”Rory argued.“Or is this some sort of prank?”

“No, I know how much sugar I put in.Someone must’ve...”Clara trailed off as realization dawned in her eyes.“The Snogbox!It’s trying to make me look like a bad cook!”

“What?”Rory asked, bemused.

“Tea is the one thing I can actually make, and the Snogbox is trying to take that away from me.”She glared at the ceiling.“Putting extra sugar in _my_ tea, I could understand, but Rory did nothing to you!”

“Can the TARDIS even do that?”He wondered, a bit skeptical of Clara’s asssertion.

“If it can put hologram leopards in the toilet, it can put a bit of sugar in some tea.”She glowered.

Rory chose not to ask.

At that moment, there came a shout from the console room.“Five seconds!”

Ten stepped into the hallway, closely followed by a tearful Rose.“I should probably go.”He decided.

A heartbeat later, there came another shout.“It’s Donna!”

At that, Ten’s eyes widened with fear and he dashed down the hallway.Rory, Clara, and Rose followed at a more sedate pace, not wanting to get in the Doctors’ way.When they arrived, an unconscious woman with dark red hair was collapsed in the pilot’s chair, twitching underneath a strange contraption on her head.Ten was pressing his fingers against her temple with his eyes closed, while Eleven supervised with wide eyes.

It was over in a few seconds.Donna stopped twitching, the hat audibly powered down, and then her eyes fluttered open.“Where am I?”She asked blearily, voice rough.

“You’re in the TARDIS.”Ten told her gently.“Do you remember?”

“Oh.”Donna blinked slowly.“That’s new.Everything’s a bit fuzzy, but... I remember you.”

“Good.It worked.”Ten sighed with relief.“Nobody’s organs got liquified.”

That got her attention.“Are you saying my organs could have been _liquified_?”She demanded.

“No, no!”He assured her quickly.“Not your organs.Mine.”

“So you think it’s ok to sacrifice yourself for me, twig boy?”She questioned, rising out of her seat.“That is exactly the kind of idiotic- is that tea?”

Her rant was cut off mid-sentence as her eyes focused on a new target- Rory’s mug of tea.“Er, yes?”He said.“Clara can make you some if you-“

He was cut off as Donna wrenched the mug from his hands, taking a huge gulp of the tea.Then she sighed, took another sip, and sat back down in her chair.“So what’s going on, exactly?”She asked, between sips of tea.

“Er- isn’t that a bit sweet?”Rory asked, gesturing at the mug.

“It’s perfect.Five sugars, just how I like it.”She disagreed.

“I drank out of that.”He warned her.

“Don’t care.It’s tea.”She dismissed it.

“I spat in it.”Clara warned.Everyone turned to look at her with varying expressions of disbelief.“What?I did.”

“Eww.”Rose made a face.

“You could have told me that _before_ I drank it all.”Donna complained, giving her mug a suspicious look.Rory leaned over to look, and was surprised to see that Donna had in fact drunk all of her tea in less than a minute.

“Why did you have tea with five sugars?”Eleven asked Rory, looking rather hurt.“You _never_ have tea with five sugars.”

“I didn’t.”Rory remarked bitterly.“It was- _oh_.”

“It was what?”Rose questioned.

“It was the clue.”Martha realized.

“Exactly.”Rory agreed.“Clara said the TARDIS did it, I thought she was lying, but-“

“Oi!”Clara interjected.

“But she must’ve been right.It knew Donna would want tea, so it made tea just how she liked it.”Rory explained, giving Clara an apologetic look.“Only, we had no idea how Donna liked her tea, so we didn’t get the hint.”

“ _I_ knew how Donna liked her tea.”Ten argued.

“And if I’d have told you my tea was too sweet, would you have thought it was a clue, or would you have just thought Clara was bad at making tea?”Rory challenged him.

Ten considered it for a moment.“Are you sure she’s _not_ just bad at making tea?”

Clara huffed.“I’ll have you know that I’m _fantastic_ at making tea.That and soufflés.”

“Well...”Eleven trailed off as Clara whirled around to face him.

“What did you just say?”She asked.

“I said you make tea very well!”He backtracked quickly.“And soufflés!You make amazing soufflés!”

Looking quite satisfied, Clara turned back to face the others.The moment her back was to Eleven, he started shaking his head and making frantic gestures, while mouthing no.

Rory decided to trust Eleven’s judgement, and never eat Clara’s soufflés.Or maybe any of Clara’s cooking, just to be safe.He wasn’t even sure of the tea yet, after that disastrous first attempt.

“But seriously, what’s happening?”Donna asked.She was the only one, other than Clara, who had yet to see Eleven’s gesturing.“One moment I’m on the TARDIS, getting my memory wiped- and don’t think I’ve forgotten about that- and the next, I’m here.I don’t know who you people are.”

“...Donna,” Ten began, exchanging a look with Eleven, “don’t you remember any of the time in between those?”

“No.”She frowned.“Should I?”

Ten looked vaguely ill.“We’ll get back to that later.This is the TARDIS, but in the future- that idiot with the bow tie is a future version of me, apparently, and these are all future companions.Except for Rose, she’s a past companion, and you already know Martha.”

Donna saw Martha standing in the back of the room, and she waved.Then she looked down at the arm of her chair, where her fingers were absentmindedly toying with a fob watch.“What’s this?”

“Part of how we restored your memories.”Eleven explained.“Your Timelord memories- the DoctorDonna- is stored inside of that watch.If you ever open it, the memories will all come back, and your head will explode.”

“Right.”Donna set the watch down.“Never opening that, then.”

“You should keep it close, though.”Martha advised.“Don’t want someone else getting their hands on it.”

“Yeah, that can be bad.”Ten acknowledged.“Just a bit.”

Donna picked the watch back up, dropping it into her shirt pocket.“Now that we’ve got that over with,” she began, and Rory took a small step back as her voice began to rise, “Does anyone want to tell me what the _bloody_ _hell_ is going on here?”

“Right.Basically, Future Me over there-“ “Hello!” “Is incapable of maintaining his own TARDIS, and now the timelines are a mess, so we’ve all been pulled here from various points in our timestreams while he tries to fix it.Except for Clara, she was here already.”

Next to Rory, Clara gave a small wave.

“Well can’t you fix the TARDIS then?”Donna asked Ten.

“Well I could, but we have to wait.And we can’t go anywhere until we’ve fixed it.”

“Wait for what?”Donna questioned, sounding like she was about to go off on another rant.

“Amy.”Rory cut in quickly.“My wife, she’s trapped in the past but we think we can save her if she jumps strings.”

“Right.”Donna nodded.“Any idea how long that’s going to take?”

“It’s been a couple of hours so far.There’ll be another jump in a little more than half an hour.”Eleven jumped back into the conversation.

“And so far we’ve got me, Martha, Rory, Bill, Rose, and now you.”Ten added.

“Alright.”Donna smiled.“Anybody want to make some more tea?”


	6. Arrivals VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Rose

Clara really did make good tea.They were all sitting around the television room, sipping their drinks and discussing plans.Rose thought they had been drinking quite a lot of tea since they’d gotten there- she could understand, however, that troubled times call for large amounts of tea.

Amy had not, in fact, been the next to arrive.That had been Nine, all brooding and leather and a goofy grin that Rose had sorely missed.Then had come Mickey, terribly confused as to why Martha had disappeared into thin air, and very relieved to see that she was safe and sound.After introductions and explanations, they had tried to all sit in the kitchen.But Clara had declared that there wasn’t enough room to make tea with all of them sitting there, so here they were in the television room instead.

“I bet it’s Jack.”Martha commented, sitting on the couch on the other side of Ten.“I bet he’ll be next.”

“Nah, I’m with Rory on this one.I bet it’s Amy.”Clara disagreed.

“Could be someone from the future.”Bill suggested, gesturing to herself yet again.She had finally woken up from her slumber not long after Nine’s arrival.

“You know who it could be?”Rose leaned in conspiratorially.“ _Adam_ _Mitchell_.”

Nine and Ten both shuddered.Eleven, the only other one who had memories of Adam, looked unperturbed- the memories had clearly had a long time to fade.

“Don’t even joke about that.”Ten pleaded.“I don’t think I could stand it.”

“If Adam jumps strings, we’re kicking him out again.Are we all agreed?”Rose wasn’t even sure if Nine was joking, but she suspected not.

“Yes.”Ten and Eleven spoke at once.

“Sorry, who’s Adam again?And we can’t just kick him out.”Clara argued.

“He got brain surgery and almost got us killed.”Ten explained badly.

“But we’ve all almost gotten us killed.”Bill pointed out.

“That’s true.”Rose supported her.“I once touched my younger self and got the Doctor eaten by Reapers.”

Rory looked like he was going to question her, but Ten cut him off.

“He’s not welcome on the TARDIS.End of story.”He was still nursing a black eye from when Nine, upon learning that Rose had been stranded in another universe, had punched him in the face.This, of course, had sparked a heated discussion about the consequences of ‘don’t touch the baby.’

“You don’t get a vote.This is our TARDIS, and we say no.”Nine told Bill and Clara firmly.

“Oi!It’s _my_ TARDIS, thank you very much.”Eleven protested.“But I completely agree, Adam has got to go.”

“I’m sure Amy will show up before Adam, whoever he is.”Martha did her best to keep the peace.Rose shrugged, not all that concerned.She completely agreed with the Doctors, and Adam probably wouldn’t _want_ to stay after what had happened the last time.Although, she was a bit put out that she apparently didn’t get a vote.

“Any minute now, actually.”Clara remarked, glancing at her wristwatch.“Should we go to the console room?”

Rose shrugged.“I’ll stay here.”She said.“There’s no point in us all going.”

“I’m staying, too.”Ten agreed at once.

“Er... shouldn’t you go?You _are_ a Doctor.”Bill pointed out.

“Nine and Eleven will both be there, I’m sure they can handle it..”At that, Nine glared at Ten, but both he and Eleven got up from their seats.

“Well, I’ll go.”Bill decided.

“And so will I.”Rory told them, heading for the door.“In case it’s Amy.”

Everyone else decided to remain there, since four people was already a sizable welcoming party.Rose cuddled into Ten’s side, resting her head against his shoulder.They all sat in silence for a few minutes before there were footsteps in the hall again.

“Is it the Master?”Martha yelled.

“What?No.”Bill told her, stepping into the room.“It’s cold in there, I just came to get a blanket.”

Rose couldn’t help but agree.It had been a bit drafty since she’d gotten there, and the console room was the worst.Bill grabbed a soft-looking blanket from the back of the couch and left the room again.

It was barely a minute later that footsteps came outside of the door again.Once again, Martha called out, “Is it the Master?”

There was a pause, then a gruffer voice answered, “It’s Amy.”Nine and Bill both stepped inside the room.Eleven and Rory were nowhere to be seen.

“They’re catching up.Go help that idiot fix the TARDIS- at least you seem to have some idea of what you’re doing.”Nine addressed Ten.

“Why don’t you go fix it?”Ten objected.“Why do _I_ have to get up?”

“Because I said so.”

“Just go do it.”Rose told Ten, completely exasperated.The two Doctors had done nothing but argue since they’d gotten there.Nine beamed, but before he could say anything, she turned to him.“And _you_ , go help.I’m sure it’ll go faster with three of you.”

He sighed, but did not argue.Ten followed him out of the room, looking put out.Rose turned back to the others.

“Honestly, how do you put up with them?”Clara asked her.

Rose laughed.“They’re not so bad one at a time.”

Clara shook her head.“And I thought _my_ Doctor was bad.”

“Well, at least we won’t be getting any more jumps.”Bill remarked, wrapping her blanket around her and settling down on one of the armchairs.“I’m not sure I could keep up with any more new faces.”

“We haven’t met Amy yet.”Martha warned.“And who knows how long it’ll take them to fix it.”

“It won’t take them too long.”Clara shrugged.“If it had, they’d have asked me to make them more tea.”

That was a fair point.Speaking of which, “Could you make me another mug?”Rose asked her.

“No.I said they’d have asked me, not that I’d have done it.I’ve made more mugs of tea in the past two hours than I have in the past week.I’m done.”

Rose sighed.“I’ll make it myself, then.”She got up, out of her chair.

“Just ask the Doctor to make it for you.”Mickey told her.“The proper Doctor, I mean.Ten.He’d do it.”

Rose, Clara, and Bill all reacted at the same time.“No!”

“Why, what’s wrong with his tea?”Mickey wondered, furrowing his brows.

“It’s disgusting.”Martha told him.

“He once tried to make tea from banana chips, and there were chunks.”Rose recalled, suppressing a shudder at the memory.

“He once put banana peppers in mine, ‘for flavor.’And he didn’t tell me until I tried to drink it.”Clara shared.

“Really?”Bill asked, looking between them.“Mine never did anything like that.He just made bad tea.Never steeped it long enough, or he’d forget and leave it for hours.”

“You’re lucky.”Rose told her.“Unsteeped tea is the least of your worries.”

“But banana peppers aren’t real bananas, though.”Martha frowned, thinking it over.“They aren’t even related.”

Clara sighed.“I have no idea what goes on in that brain of his sometimes.”

“Should we watch a movie?”Mickey suggested, obviously not wanting to continue with a conversation he could not contribute to.

The girls looked at one another and shrugged.“Sure.I’ll make tea.”Rose excused herself.

When she returned, holding her own full mug and a large teapot, Bill was holding the remote and frowning at the screen.“Your Netflix is not the same as my Netflix.”She announced.“There’s none of the new stuff.”

“What do you mean?That one’s new, it just came out last month.”Mickey pointed.“And that one.”

“Those are years old.”She disagreed.“Wait, what year are you from?Are we not from the same year?”

“I’m 2009.”Martha told her.

“Same here.”Mickey agreed.

“2008.”Rose shook her head.

“2009.”Donna told them, from where she had been sitting quietly.Rose got the feeling that ‘quiet’ and ‘Donna Noble’ were not words used together very often.

“2016.”Clara added.

“2017.”Bill looked between them, looking a bit stunned.“I didn’t even think about it, that’s so weird.I would’ve been a kid in 2008.”

“We’re from 2012.”An unfamiliar voice came from the doorway.Rose looked up to see a tall, leggy redhead holding hands with Rory.

“You must be Amy.”Martha stood up and shook her hand with a polite smile.“I’m Martha Jones.”

One by one, they introduced themselves again, and the Ponds sat down on one of the couches.Rose dutifully ignored the tear stains on Amy and Rory’s cheeks, knowing that she had probably looked much the same when she’d been reunited with Ten.

They never ended up picking a movie.Before they could figure out how to access movies from the future, the Doctors all came back, covered in grease but looking very proud of themselves.

“We fixed it!”Eleven declared, flopping backwards onto the seat next to Clara.She cringed away from him, and Rose couldn’t help but feel bad for her.

“Get up!You’re getting grease on the blankets!”Clara complained.

Eleven pouted.“But I-“

“Go.”Clara told him firmly, pointing in the direction of the door.“Take a shower.You’re disgusting.”

Rose turned to Nine and Ten, who had both been hopefully eyeing the spot next to her.“You too.Go, shower, nobody wants to get that grease on them.”

With all of the Doctors gone again, Rose heard an inhalation of breath beside her.She turned to see that Martha’s eyes were wide with realization.“If they’ve fixed it, that means we can go home.”

“That’s good, innit?”Rose asked her, unsure.Since she’d gotten there, none of them had expressed an interest in leaving, and the thought hadn’t even occurred to her.

“Yeah.I’ve got a life back home, I can’t just abandon it.”Martha sighed.“Although I almost wish I could.”

“I don’t really have much to do on Earth.”Mickey commented.“I’m just a mechanic, I can quit.But I don’t think I can cope with this life, the nonstop adventuring.It’s just not me.”

Donna raised one eyebrow when Rose turned to her.“Oh, I’m staying.Nobody can make _me_ leave.”

Bill was next.“I should find Heather... and my Doctor isn’t even here, if I’m going to keep traveling it’ll be with him.”

“We’re staying.”Amy replied instantly when Rose’s gaze fixed on her.Then she hesitated and glanced at Rory.“I mean, aren’t we?”

“Of course.”He assured her.“We can stay for as long as you like.It’s not like the house is going anywhere.”

“I’m staying.This is my TARDIS, I chose to come on board.”Clara informed them.

“And I’m staying, of course.So that’s everyone.We’re only losing Martha, Mickey, and Bill.That leaves five companions, that’s more than we’ve ever had.”

“And three Doctors.”Rory added.“Or, are they staying?”

“Of course they’re staying, this is the TARDIS.”Rose laughed.

“No, but, Rory’s right.”Martha shared a look with him.“They’re the same person- what if, now that it’s fixed, they get teleported back?”

“That won’t happen.”Rose did her best to brush it off, but the words hit her harder than she’d like to admit.

What if both of her Doctors disappeared again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The end of arrivals! Next chapter, we may actually have some action. Ok, not action, but the TARDIS may actually land somewhere? So that's fun.
> 
> (Don't worry. There are some characters tagged that haven't appeared- they will show up eventually. They'll be brought in other ways.)


	7. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Clara

The Doctors returned to the room half an hour later, looking much cleaner than they had before.Eleven, of course, was in another suit identical to his usual one; Nine and Ten, however, had not been so lucky.They didn’t have any spare suits aboard the TARDIS anymore.

Nine, luckily, had had the foresight to remove his jacket before starting to work on the ship.He’d managed to find a pair of dark jeans and a t-shirt in his size, and was wearing his normal leather jacket over them.Ten hadn’t been able to find much of anything in his size, and was now being forced to wear a pair of plaid pajama pants that trailed on the floor when he walked.

“It was either this or a kilt.”He had complained the moment he entered the room.

“Should’ve gone with the kilt.”Clara advised him, doing her best not to laugh.

“You’re not going to disappear, are you?”Rose asked both of her Doctors urgently.“Because you’re the same person?”

“If we were going to disappear we would’ve done it already.”Nine assured her.

“So it was a possibility?You would have vanished without even saying goodbye?”She questioned, sounding more and more upset.

“It was never a strong possibility.”Ten explained quickly, in defense of his previous self.“Fixing the stabilizers straightened out the timelines, but it didn’t send anybody back to where they came from.”

“It’s like we’re different people!”Eleven told Clara, sitting down next to her.She was glad she’d had the foresight to put a blanket over the grease stain, because otherwise he would have had to shower all over again.“We’re not even sure if they can regenerate.”

“What?Why wouldn’t they be able to regenerate?”Clara questioned.

“Because we already did.”Nine told them grumpily.

“We were taken from our moment of regeneration.”Ten explained, sharing a glance with Nine.“So we’ve already used our share of the energy.For all intents and purposes, Eleven is the Doctor, and we’re just... extensions of our specific incarnations.”

“So what you’re saying is, he’s the boss of you?”Rose teased.

Ten made a face.“Never say that again.”

“He’s like a child.”Nine complained at the same time.

Clara laughed.“He’s older than either of you.”

“But he acts like a twelve year old.”Amy pointed out, leaning into Rory’s embrace.At Eleven’s offended look, she added, “What?It’s true.”

“As much as I’ve enjoyed seeing you again...”Martha began.

“You have to go home.”Ten nodded.“I understand.”

“You have to go?Why?”Eleven whined.

“I have a life on Earth.I can’t be expected to drop everything and run off with you again.”She told him gently.

“I’m sure we’ll at least visit.”Clara told her, hoping to avoid another Eleven meltdown.“And you’re always welcome on the TARDIS.”

“But we can’t take you home yet.”Eleven warned.Martha opened her mouth to argue, but he continued.“We physically can’t.The TARDIS needs time to recover, we only have enough power for one trip.”

“Then we can take one trip to Martha’s flat, and then wait there for her to recover.”Clara suggested, knowing that it would be better to get Martha home sooner rather than later.

“There might not be that much control.The TARDIS will go somewhere she feels safe- could be London, could be another galaxy.”Nine told them.“Anywhere she can kick us off and take time to regain power.”

“Probably won’t be Martha’s flat.”Ten added, giving the girl in question an apologetic look.“No offense.”

She sighed.“None taken.Just get me back home when you can.”

Ten nodded.“Let’s go to the console room.The sooner we land, the sooner we can get this straightened out.”

A few minutes and one shaky landing later, they were ready to head outside.

“Let’s see where she’s taken us.”Ten opened the door cautiously, poking his head out to check.“Oh.Well _that’s_ interesting.”

“What is?”Nine pushed past him to look out.“Oh.Even after all this time, she still thinks of this as home.”

“Where are we?”Eleven asked, but was ignored.He forced his way past the other two.“ _Oh_.Home.”

“Where’s that, then?”Amy questioned.Without responding, the Doctors all walked out the door.The throng of companions, past and future, followed him.

Clara had absolutely no idea where they were.It looked like London, maybe, but not a part she recognized.

“Oh my god.”Rose breathed.Clara turned to look at her.“This is the estate.It actually took me _home_.”

“But what would it do that for?”Mickey frowned.“You don’t live here anymore.”

“The TARDIS needed somewhere safe to recover.And her first thought was ‘Rose Tyler’s house.’”Ten smiled fondly, stroking the outside of the TARDIS absentmindedly.

“But Mickey’s right.”Rose sighed.“I don’t live here, and neither does Mum, so that means we’re still stuck in the TARDIS.”

“She won’t let you back in until she’s settled down.”Nine warned.“She needs time.”

“How much time?”Clara asked cautiously.She didn’t want to be stuck here for weeks.

“Oh, I think twelve hours should do it.”Ten hazarded a guess.

“Best make it fifteen, to be safe.”Eleven advised.“This is mid-afternoon, so that puts us leaving at...”

“Half past six.”Nine did the math.“A bit early, but I’m sure we can manage.”

“Yeah, but,” Rose pointed out, “where are we gonna stay?Someone else will have the apartment by now, we can’t exactly stay with my mum.”

Something caught Clara’s eye.“Um, Rose.”She began slowly.“You said you were from 2008, right?”

Rose frowned.“Yeah, why?”

Clara pointed at a brand new poster on a signpost.It was about someone’s missing cat- male, ginger, answers to ‘Macaroni.’But that wasn’t the part that had caught Clara’s eye.“Last seen on 16 July, 2006.”She read.

“But that’s Mrs Finnegan’s cat.It died months back.”Rose turned to Nine.“What year is it?Have you taken me to visit my mum?”

“Don’t look at me, the TARDIS picked it.”He defended himself.

“Doctor...”

“Yes.”He gave in.“Today is 18 July, 2006.And I think your mum is home.”

“Rose!”Sure enough, there was an older blonde woman running down the stairs towards them.She was beaming, and enveloped Rose in a hug the moment she reached the group.“It’s been weeks!You could’ve called.”

“I’ve been busy.”Rose glanced at the rest of the group awkwardly.Clara hovered behind her, not wanting to butt into their reunion.“Er, Mum...”

“Yeah, what is it?”Jackie Tyler asked.Then she looked around, finally noticing the large crowd surrounding them.“And who are all these people?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a late update! I completely forgot to post yesterday. And it's really short, so it's not even a full chapter. But hey, the TARDIS actually landed somewhere, so there's that. The action will start soon. Not this chapter, not the next one, but the one after that. And trust me, there will be action.


	8. Meet The Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Donna

Not wanting to do introductions in the middle of the street, Rose had led the group inside.Then she had proceeded to introduce everyone, except for Nine, to her mother.(“This is Clara, she’s from the future.This is Donna, she’s also from the future.This is Ten, he’s kind of from the future as well, but you’ll actually be meeting him so I shouldn’t say too much.This is Mickey, but he’s a future version.”)

Donna thought it was a bit ridiculous that they were all going to be staying at Rose’s mother’s flat.It was tiny, which wasn’t bad by itself, but was going to be very cramped with all of the Doctors and companions.She wasn’t even sure there would be enough floor space.The moment sleeping arrangements had come up, she had called the sofa- it would be uncomfortable, but much better than the floor.And she wouldn’t have to share it, like she would a bed.

“Mum, why don’t you go stay with Cousin Mo tonight?”Rose had asked, somewhat hopefully.

“And what would I say?I think I’ll stay in my own bed, thanks.”Jackie had replied.

“I don’t know, say the heating’s knackered.”Rose had suggested.

“The heating’s knackered?”Jackie had repeated in disbelief.“Rose, it’s the middle of bloody July.”

“The air conditioning, then.”

Jackie had thrown her hands up.“I’m not getting kicked out of my own house, and that’s that.I don’t care _what_ all of you do, but I’m staying here.”

In the end, it was decided that Rose would share Jackie’s bed, the Ponds would take Rose’s, and Donna would have the sofa.Everybody else was left to find floor space, although Jackie warned them that there were no air mattresses and not enough blankets to go around.

Now they were all sitting around the living room, half of them perched on the furniture and half of them resigned to the floor.The mood of the entire group had dropped when they realized that they were confined to the flat for the next fifteen hours.

“So how come it picked _your_ flat, then?”Bill asked Rose.“Are you just the TARDIS’s favourite or something?”

She shrugged.“How should I know?Maybe she just got confused since Nine was on board.”

“So’s Ten.Why wouldn’t it have picked Donna’s, or Martha’s?”Bill questioned her.

“Never been to mine.”Martha explained.“Not the new one, anyway.And the old one got blown up last time the Doctor was there, so.”

“Probably didn’t want to put up with my mum.”Donna admitted.

“Don’t know why it didn’t pick our house.”Rory shrugged.“But I guess there are two Doctors that knew Rose, and only one that knows us, so maybe it’s just math.”

“Would’ve been more room at our house, at least.”Amy commented.

“Oi!”Jackie’s shout came from the other room, where she was catching up with Rose and doing her best to ignore the group of strangers that had invaded her home.

“Sorry!”Amy called back, not looking at all sorry.

“So what are we gonna do for fifteen hours?”Martha asked.

Ten shrugged.“I’m sure we’ll find something.I don’t like being stuck, I’ve never been stuck this long.”

At that, half the room turned to look at him with a wide variety of expressions.“1969?”Martha questioned him.

“Okay, apart from that.Apart from 1969, I’ve never been stuck this long.”He amended his previous statement.

“The Family of Blood?”She reminded him.

“That wasn’t really me, I didn’t have my memories.”Ten defended himself.

“Craig Owens?”Amy asked next.Ten blinked at her owlishly, not having a clue who Craig Owens was.“The cubes?That universe where you married River?”

“I haven’t done any of- I’m sorry, _what_?”Ten’s brain caught up with her last sentence.“The universe where I did _what_?”

Donna was also staring at Amy.“River _Song_?”She asked in disbelief.“The archaeologist?”

“Yeah?”Amy suddenly looked uncomfortable.“What’s wrong with archaeologists?”

“But she’s dead!”Donna burst out, at the same moment Ten said,

“I can’t believe I married an _archaeologist_.”

“Dead?River’s not dead.”Amy looked terribly confused, glancing at Eleven.He looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes, and Donna felt a sense of dread rising in her.

“She’s dead, Amy.”Rory told her softly.“The Doctor told me before you got here.I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“Did you know her?”Donna asked gently.“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Amy sniffled, wiping a tear from her eye.“She was my daughter.”

“Oh.”Donna had no idea how to respond to that.

“It happened a very long time ago.”Eleven told them both.“And she’s not really gone, I saved her to a computer.We can visit later, if you like.”

Feeling incredibly awkward with the topic, Donna turned to the rest of the room.Her eyes were begging for an escape.Rose and Martha both avoided her gaze, Clara was too busy comforting Eleven to notice, and Ten looked engrossed in the conversation.

“I’m going to make biscuits.”Nine announced.“Does anybody else want to make biscuits?”

“I’ll help.”Donna was out of her seat in an instant, volunteering.Mickey was close behind.Bill, Rose, and Martha all stayed behind, looking quite torn between staying and going to help.

“What kind of biscuits?”Donna asked him, rummaging through the cupboard.“Should I get out the chocolate chips?”

“ _American_ biscuits.”Nine declared.“Unsweetened scones.Delicious.”

Donna made a face.“Doesn’t _sound_ delicious.”

“No, they’re good, I’ve had them.”Mickey assured her.“We need milk, right?”

“Yeah.”Nine told him.“And flour, if you can find it.”

Donna searched for the bag of flour while Mickey opened the refrigerator.“Got it!”She announced, pulling out a mostly full sack of white baking flour.

“I don’t see any milk.”Mickey told them, leaning into the fridge to check.“There’s a jug in here, but it’s empty.”

“Why would it be empty?Who would put an empty jug of milk in the fridge?”Nine asked, reaching over Mickey and pulling out the jug.Donna could see that it was, in fact, empty.

“Oi, Jackie!”Mickey called loudly.“Are you out of milk?”

Her reply came just a few seconds later, just as loud as Mickey’s even though she was on the other side of the apartment.“No, there’s half a jug in the fridge!”

“It’s empty!”He told her.A few moments later, Jackie Tyler entered the kitchen.She took one look at the empty jug, huffed, and stalked back into the living room.

“Oi, you lot!Which one of you drank the milk?”She demanded.There was a moment of silence, and then Ten slowly raised his hand.

“And you put it back in the fridge?”Donna questioned angrily.“You finished the milk, and then you put it back.”

He nodded silently, obviously knowing that it was best not to say something he’d regret.Donna smiled slightly, satisfied that he was suitably cowed.

“Well, we can’t make biscuits without milk.”Nine complained.“Somebody, go get some milk.”

“We can borrow some from the neighbors,” Rose suggested, but Amy shook her head.

“I’ll run to the store.Anything else we need?”

Rory looked at her, worry in his eyes.“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”She assured him, although her voice wavered slightly and she visibly swallowed.“I just need some fresh air.”

“I’ll come with you.”Rose offered.

“We can use my car.”Mickey told them, standing up.The three of them headed out the door, leaving the others to find something to do.

“Well, we can’t make biscuits until they get back.”Donna settled back down in her spot on the couch.

“I’m going to mix the dry ingredients.”Nine informed them, heading back to the kitchen.Donna did not follow him.

“So how did you get involved in all this?”Jackie Tyler asked her, sitting down in the spot that Rose had just vacated.

“Me?”Donna asked, a bit surprised.She hadn’t expected Jackie to join the group at all.“It’s a bit of a long story.”

“Well, with the rest of them I can understand.”Jackie explained her question, vaguely gesturing to the rest of the group.“They’re young, they want adventure.Although, I thought Mickey was smarter than that.”

Donna nodded, acknowledging her point.She wasn’t even offended that Jackie had just called her old- she wasn’t a twenty-something sweetheart who doted on the Doctor, she was a grown woman.

“But you, you seem sensible.I can’t picture you just swanning off with the alien that blew up your job, without so much as a goodbye.”Jackie continued, sounding a bit bitter about this.Donna wondered if that was really what Rose had done.

“No.”She shook her head, smiling in remembrance.“Actually, the first time he asked me, I said no.Found him a year later and practically forced him to take me along.”

“You did, a bit.”Ten recalled fondly.“But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Jackie frowned.“Sorry, I thought you travelled with the Doctor...?”

Donna froze, the smile still on her face.“I did, yeah.”She forced herself to say.Rose hadn’t told her mother that Ten was the Doctor- and now Donna had blown it.

“I, er...”Ten tried to explain himself, but couldn’t seem to get the words out.

“Oh, honestly, you two.”Clara rolled her eyes.She turned to Jackie, fixing a genuine-looking smile on her face.“Ten travelled with the Doctor, he was there at the same time as Donna.”

“Oh.”Jackie seemed to accept that explanation at face value.Donna wanted to hit herself- why hadn’t _she_ thought of that?- but didn’t want to look suspicious.

“Thank you so much for letting us stay here, Mrs Tyler.”Martha changed the subject.Donna couldn’t blame her for wanting to stay away from dangerous topics.

“Oh, it’s no trouble.”Jackie assured her.“I’m always happy for Rose to visit, even when she brings more friends than I know what to do with.”

As the conversation went on, Donna found herself genuinely enjoying the company.She’d expected to feel crowded with so many different personalities on board, even if some of them were leaving the next day, but this was nice.But, of course, she had no idea what the next day would hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? You get an early update! Mostly because I'm very bored and have also written three chapters in the past two days, so I've got a huge backlog of chapters to get through.
> 
> And next chapter, I promise, is when the action starts. At the end of the next chapter, but still, in the next chapter.


	9. A Breath of Fresh Air I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Amy

“You sure you’re alright?”Rose asked her as they headed down the staircase.

“Yeah, fine.”Amy gave her a small smile.“Just, you know, found out my daughter is dead and my best friend has been lying to me about it for years.”

Rose looked at her for another moment, pursing her lips, but apparently decided not to say anything else.And Amy really _was_ fine; she supposed she might be in shock, and she knew that she and Rory would cry about it later, but she really just needed some fresh air.

“Wait a second.”Amy paused on the last step, turning to Mickey.“You’re from 2009.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, how do you have a car?We can’t exactly take the TARDIS to go get it from the future.”She pointed out.

“I live two blocks down, we can borrow my younger self’s car.”He shrugged.“It’ll be fine.”

“We can’t just show up at your flat and ask to borrow your car, you’d think we were crazy.”Rose objected.

“4:00 on a Tuesday?I’ll be at work.”He disagreed.“I’ll never know it was missing.”

“You’re going to _steal_ your younger self’s car?”Amy clarified.At Mickey’s nod, she laughed.“Let’s do it.”

“You’re not seriously encouraging this?”Rose asked her.“We can’t just steal a car.”

“But it’s my car.I bought it, I can use it.”

“But, just for the record, this was your idea.”Amy added.“So, you know, if anything _does_ happen...”

“Nothing’s gonna happen.”He rolled his eyes.“Come on, let’s go steal a car.”

 

 

“Just for the record,” Rose told Mickey, sitting in the back seat, “this is one of the worst ideas we’ve ever had.”

“This was a great idea, I loved this car.”Mickey was driving, a self-satisfied grin on his face.

“I just can’t believe you keep a spare key in the wheel well.That’s, like, asking for someone to steal it.”Amy teased him.She was sitting in the passenger seat, wearing Mickey’s sunglasses and rolling down the window.

“Well I don’t do that _anymore_.”He rolled his eyes.“I’m not an idiot.”

“Debatable.”Rose laughed.“Are we just heading to the Aldi?”

“Yeah, it’s right around the corner.”Mickey pulled into the parking lot, stopping in front of the entrance to let the girls out.“I’ll find a place to park.”

“Alright.”Amy opened the door and stepped out, waiting a moment for Rose to follow her before heading inside the store.

“What else do we need besides milk?”Rose asked her.Amy took a moment to respond, enjoying the rush of air conditioning that surrounded her the moment she stepped inside.

“Yoghurt.Cereal, if we’re planning on eating breakfast.Maybe some bananas for the Doctors.”

“Bananas are good.”Rose imitated Nine.It was a rather bad imitation, and her fake Northern accent left a lot to be desired, but Amy politely refrained from saying so.

“Call your mum, see if she needs anything.”Amy suggested.Rose nodded and pulled out her phone, dialing the number.Amy fought back a cringe at the sight of an old, battered flip phone.Then again, she supposed, it _was_ 2006.

Rose was on the phone for a few minutes, while Amy wandered through the aisles.She grabbed a package of Rory’s favourite biscuits- _real_ biscuits, not American ones- and two gallons of milk.

Rose caught up with her soon enough.“Apple juice.Some fruit.And she says we should grab takeout for dinner, since she’s not cooking.”

“Chinese?”Amy guessed.It was what _she_ was in the mood for, anyway, and if she was buying takeout she had the right to choose.

She shrugged.“Sure, I guess.I’ll have the Doctor get everybody’s orders.”

“Does he have a phone?”Amy questioned her.

Rose paused.“Just the TARDIS.I guess I’ll have to call my mum again- or you can call Rory?”

“Alright.”Amy dialed Rory’s number.It rang twice before he picked it up.

“Ello?”

“Hey, Rory.”She greeted him.“We’re getting Chinese, can you see what everybody wants?”

There was a pause.“ _I’ll_ _text_ _you_.”He promised.

“Thanks.”She hung up, turning back to Rose.The blonde had disappeared.

A moment later, she reappeared from behind one of the shelves, carrying a basket full of bananas.“For the Doctors.”She explained, at Amy’s questioning look.

“Are they gonna need that many bananas?”She wondered.“It’s only for one night...”

“One banana for dessert, one for a midnight snack, one in the morning with cereal... and that’s per Doctor, assuming Nine doesn’t try to bake anything with them.”Rose counted out.“So we need at _least_ nine bananas, I figure twelve will be enough.”

“They’re not gonna eat twelve bananas in one night.”

“Have you _met_ them?”

Amy paused, then conceded the point.Eleven _liked_ bananas, but he wasn’t crazy about them.But she absolutely would not put it past Nine and Ten.She told Rose so, and the blonde laughed.

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to laugh at you.It’s just, I can’t imagine a Doctor who isn’t crazy for bananas.It’s _weird_.”

Amy shrugged.“He has... other tastes.”She chose not to mention what, specifically, those tastes were.She wanted to be there the first time Rose saw Eleven eat fish fingers and custard.

Their shopping didn’t take long after that.As they circled the parking lot, trying to figure out where Mickey had parked, Amy felt her phone buzz.She pulled it out to see a long list of orders.

“Two orders of crab rangoon, one egg drop soup... Bill wants shrimp chow mien, that’s new...”Amy scrolled down the list, satisfied that everyone had placed an order.

“Amy.”Rose’s voice sounded tense, and Amy felt her hand gripping Amy’s shirt.“ _Amy_.”

Amy glanced up, concerned.“What is it?”She asked.Rose was standing very still, looking at something in the distance.Amy followed her gaze.“Oh my god.”

“They’re looking at us.Why are they looking at us?”Rose asked her.

“Just keep walking.”Amy told her quietly, forcing the younger girl to walk with her through the aisle of cars.“Don’t look at them.”

It wasn’t aliens or robots that had them so scared.It wasn’t anything of the sort.There were two police officers, standing outside of their patrol car, who seemed to be watching them very carefully.Every once and a while, they would murmur something to each other and point.

“We haven’t done anything, they can’t arrest us.”Rose repeated under her breath.“They can’t arrest us.”

“We stole a car.”Amy pointed out, keeping her voice hushed.

“It’s Mickey’s car, he can vouch for us.”Rose insisted, but it was clear that she was only trying to convince herself.

“I don’t have a valid ID.”Amy told her bluntly.“My driver’s license is from 2009.That’s identity fraud at the very least.”

“We’re so getting arrested for this.”Rose gave up on the pretense of confidence.“Shite.What do we do?”

“Put your hands up!”Rose and Amy both whirled around to see that the two policemen had followed them through the parking lot and were now very close, guns aimed at the girls.The one who had barked the order repeated it, louder this time.“Put your hands up!”

“Listen, I think there’s been a mistake...”Amy began nervously, raising her hands slowly.“We haven’t done anything, we were just grocery shopping.”

“Don’t play games with me.We know who you are.”The other cop sneered.“Isn’t that right, _Carrot_ - _Top_?”

“Er, what?”Amy asked, having no clue what the man was talking about it.

“And you, Goldilocks.You thought cutting your hair would be enough to disguise you?”He laughed.“Well, we’ve got you now.And soon enough, we’ll have your partner too.”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”Rose told him.“What partner?I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

They didn’t buy it.“Keep your hands up and remain still.”One of the cops kept his gun aimed at them; the second approached slowly while taking out a pair of handcuffs.

Amy met Rose’s eyes, and saw her own fear reflected back at her.How were they getting out of this one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it starts.
> 
> I'm not gonna lie. The ending of this is not my best writing. But I don¡t have the energy to go back and fix it, so. Also, I know I just posted yesterday, but it is Wednesday and since I have so many chapters written (I'm working on Chapter 22 right now) I figured there was no harm in an extra update.


	10. A Breath of Fresh Air II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Mickey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you know how I said the next chapter would be Wednesday? Well, I lied. Here it is, many days early. At this point, I might just give up on the weekly schedule. I'll post *at least* every Wednesday, but quite possibly more often than that. At least until I lose the random burst of motivation I've had this past week.
> 
> No police were harmed in the making of this chapter.

There was nowhere to park near the Aldi.The entire lot was full, and he didn’t want to have to walk far in this heat, so he pulled up on the side of the road at the first stop he could find.He considered getting out and finding the girls, but decided that he had taken long enough to park that they were probably done with their shopping.

He sat in the car for longer than he’d expected, turning the air conditioning up as far as it could go and rolling down both windows.Just when he was about to call Rose, wondering what was taking her so long, he heard shouting coming from the direction of the Aldi.

He looked up, leaning out the window to see what was going on.There was a brief second of silence, and then the shouting intensified.He could hear running footsteps and something that sounded like gunshots.

Then Rose rounded the corner, blonde hair streaming behind her, a look of pure panic on her face.She was bolting towards the car, shouting something.Amy was just behind her.Mickey had no idea what was going on, but he put the car in gear and got ready to drive.

Amy reached him first, being just moments faster than Rose.She didn’t even bother to open the door, instead choosing to throw herself through the open window headfirst.Rose pulled open the back door, scrambled inside, and shut it behind her.

“Drive!”She shouted.

Mickey drove.It took Amy a few seconds to get her legs inside the car, and she was scowling when she finally did, but he decided that it had been a good idea not to wait.Rounding the corner where Rose and Amy had just been was a police car, driving over the curb with the lights on and sirens blaring.It was heading in their direction.

“What did you _do_?”He demanded, stepping on the gas as hard as he could.They shot off down the street, careening violently to avoid hitting the other cars.

“Nothing!”Rose defended herself.

“We’re being chased by the _police_ , Rose, you must’ve done something!”

“You stole a car, maybe that’s what they’re after!”She blamed him.Mickey couldn’t deny that it was possible- but if they’d noticed the car, why had they gone after the girls and not him?

“They recognized us, said something about stolen jewels.”Amy explained breathlessly, throwing her bag of groceries into the backseat.

“When did they say that?”Rose questioned, as Mickey veered around another corner.

“When they were trying to arrest us!”

“But you didn’t steal anything, did you?”Mickey asked them, narrowly avoiding a pedestrian.“Why didn’t you just tell them that?”

“We tried!”Amy defended herself.

At the sound of a gunshot, Mickey couldn’t stop himself from looking back at the police chasing them.The glass on his back windshield was cracked, with a metal bullet lodged in the middle.

“Oh, so now they’re _shooting_ at us?”He swerved to avoid the next shot, front wheel going up on the pavement before he got it back under control.

“Shoot back!”Rose suggested.

“ _With_ _what_ _gun_?”

“I’ve got a gun.”Amy pulled a handgun out of her jacket, offering it to Mickey.“Stole it off them.”

“Why did you steal a gun?”Mickey demanded.

“They were trying to arrest us!”

“What does it matter, just shoot them with it!”Rose yelled.

“I don’t know how to shoot a gun!”Amy objected.“Mickey, you take it!”

“I’m driving!”He argued.“And I think you’re ignoring the problem here, which is that I’m not shooting at a police officer with a stolen gun!”

“Would you rather I hadn’t taken it, and they were using it to shoot at _us_?”Amy glared at him.“Just take the gun!”

“They’re _already_ shooting at us!”He yelled.

“Oh, for god’s sake!”Rose reached into the front seat and grabbed the gun from Amy.She leaned out the window and took aim.

“What are you _doing_?”Mickey was absolutely shocked, while Amy simply looked proud.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”She snapped back, firing at the police car.Her first shot went wide, hitting a lamppost on the side of the street.

“Have you ever used a gun before?Do you even know how?”Mickey demanded.

“I’m sure I can figure it out!”She fired again, this time hitting the pavement just in front of the car.Her third shot did the job, hitting one of the front wheels and sending the car spinning.

They spun off the road, onto the pavement and into the side of a building.Mickey wanted to stop and see if they were alright, but he had a feeling that would get him arrested.Sure enough, just moments after the impact, both policemen climbed out of the car and began giving chase on foot.

Mickey sped away from them, easily gaining ground now that they had lost their advantage.Another shot hit the windshield, this one shattering it into the backseat.Rose cringed away, managing to avoid the worst of the damage.

“Climb up here.”Amy told her.“And bring the groceries.”

“They shot my car.”Mickey thought he might be in shock.“We’ve been chased by the police and they shot my car.”

“Yeah, we’re a bit past that now.”Amy told him, taking two bags of groceries from Rose.The blonde climbed into the front seat, squeezing in beside Amy.

Rose frowned at the bags.“Where’s the yoghurt?”She asked after a moment.“There used to be a bag of yoghurt.”

“Oh, I hit one of them in the face with it.”

“You hit him in the face with _yoghurt_?”Rose complained.“I _paid_ for that yoghurt.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you rather have gotten _arrested_?”

“We’re all gonna die.”Mickey realized.

“We’re not gonna die.”Amy said.“We’ve lost them.”

“And my car has holes in it.”

“It was your idea to steal it, that’s not _my_ fault.”

“You encouraged me!”He objected.“And now my car has _bullet_ _holes_ in it!”

“Pull in here.”Rose spoke up.Mickey did as she told him, swerving into the car wash.There was no attendant taking money and the multicolored lights were off, so he pulled straight into the darkened tunnel.

It must have been motion activated, because the moment they entered, the lights turned on and foamy water began streaming over the car.Mickey slumped over in defeat, closing his eyes and letting his head rest on the steering wheel.

The horn honked loudly.

“Why is this my life?”He asked them, as if either of them could have an answer.“We just got chased by cops and now there’s water inside my car.”And it wasn’t just water, either, it was multicoloured foamy water that was getting all over the back seat.

“Sorry.”Rose offered.“I didn’t think it would turn on.”

“And to be fair, it _is_ a good place to hide.”Amy added in support of her.“Nobody’s going to look for us inside a car wash.”

Mickey didn’t even have the energy to glare at her.“How am I supposed to explain this to my younger self?”

Amy shrugged.“Sorry.”

Mickey sighed.“Let’s just get back to the flat.”

They reached the end of the tunnel, where there was a metal bar blocking the entrance.A brightly coloured screen prompted Mickey to insert his tokens for payment.He briefly considered digging through the bottom of his car for some tokens, but instead chose to drive forwards and knock the bar over.He was already going to jail for this; a bit of metal was the least of his worries.

As he pulled back onto the main road, Amy looked out the window.“What are we gonna do with the car?”She asked him.

“We’ll park it at my flat.”

“But like you said, it’s got bullet holes in it.”Rose pointed out.

“It’ll draw too much attention.”Amy agreed with her.

“We’re not abandoning my car.”

“We might have to.”Rose was looking out the place where the back windshield should have been.

“I don’t think this car is fixable.”Amy remarked.

“I’m not leaving the car.”Mickey repeated.

“We might have to.”Rose, from where she was sitting next to Amy, warned again.“They’ve caught up.”

Sure enough, there was a red jeep hurtling towards them from the direction they had come.As it got closer, Mickey could make out the figures of both policemen in the front seat.Evidently, they had commandeered a civilian’s car.

He stepped on it.They flew down the street, engine rattling.There was a trail of soapy water on the pavement behind them.

“It’s a red light!”Mickey ignored Amy’s warning as he barreled through the intersection, breathing a sigh of relief as he made it to the other side unscathed.The police were not so lucky, being forced to stop on the other side of the flow of traffic.

“We made it.”Rose laughed incredulously.“I can’t believe we made it.I thought we were gonna die.”

“Are they following us?”Mickey asked, glancing around to check.

He didn’t have time to react when they hit the pothole.The car, already unstable, lurched unpleasantly.It began to tilt to the side, and Mickey couldn’t get it back under control.He slammed on the brakes.

Amy screamed as her door fell open, and she tumbled out into the grass.Rose followed her, rolling away from the pavement.Mickey muttered a prayer under his breath and leapt out after them, feet hitting the ground harder than he’d anticipated.He tumbled down, elbow hitting Rose, and landed in a heap in the grass.

Absent of its passengers, the car tilted even farther, skidding down the road until it finally flipped into the ditch.Mickey stared at the burning mess, feeling strangely numb.

“That was my favourite car.”He said mournfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger! All in good fun, of course. I've now written up through chapter 23, and am working on 24. But I do have a serious question for you guys.
> 
> Do you want me to bring in Jack? I was originally planning to, albeit not for a little while. But he's not really necessary to the plot in any way. So I can bring him in if you want me to, or leave him out entirely, or have him only as a side character and not a full-time companion. Let me know!


	11. A Breath of Fresh Air III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 - Amy

Mickey’s flat was right next door to the garage where he would one day get a job.As it was, he was good friends with the owners, and they usually let him park his car inside when they were closed.The group of three snuck into the garage, hoping that nobody noticed them, and debated their next move.

“We can’t just pretend this never happened.”Rose pointed out.“Your younger self doesn’t have a car.”

“What if the police track down the license plate?”Amy questioned, ever the realist.

“They won’t.”Mickey dismissed her.“It was full of bullet holes and covered in soap, if they didn’t catch it in the beginning they won’t have it now.”

“Amy’s right.They could clean it.”Rose agreed with her.Amy nodded, wondering what exactly they were going to do about this. _She_ would be fine, but Rose and Mickey both had younger selves in this time period; she didn’t want to get them arrested.

“We’ll have to wait for me to come home and explain what’s happened.”Mickey decided.“I don’t really remember this, but that’s got to be what we do.”

“Or we could write a note?”Amy suggested.She didn’t really want to deal with the logistics of a past-present meeting.

Before Mickey could answer, there was a shout from outside the garage.“Oi, Mickster!”

He cursed under his breath.

“That’s not the police.”Amy and Rose shared a glance.Rose peered out the garage door, to see who had shouted, and visibly relaxed.

“It’s just Rob.”She told Mickey.

“I know.”He took a moment to straighten his clothes and wipe the soap foam off of his arm, and walked out to greet this person.

“Rob Delaney.”Rose explained to her quietly.“The mailman.Mickey used to date his sister.”

“Is he hot?”Rose gave her a look, and Amy flushed.“Sorry, not the time.”

“You’re married.”

“Yeah.”Amy was sure her smile was far too sappy for Rose’s comfort, but she couldn’t help it.Thinking about Rory always made her sappy.Or annoyed, but generally sappy.And honestly, she couldn’t help but flirt- she was still completely loyal to her husband, and he knew that.

Mickey came back just a few minutes later, clutching an envelope in his hand.“Just wanted to give me the mail.”He explained, at Rose’s questioning look.“Didn’t see the point in sliding it under my door if I was right here anyway.”

“Well that’s nice then, isn’t it?”Rose’s attempt to cheer him up was pitiful at best.

“Yeah, just great.My car’s been wrecked and I’m wanted by the police, but at least I’ve got my bloody mail.”

“We’ll figure it out.”Amy promised, trying to diffuse the tension.“Has anyone got a pen?”

“No, why would I have a pen?”Mickey asked her.

“No.”Rose shook her head.

“I probably had one in my car,” Mickey continued bitterly, “but that’s not gonna do us much good now.What do you need a pen for, anyway?”

“I’m gonna write a note.”She explained.“So we don’t have to wait for your younger self.”

“There might be a pen in the- wait.”Mickey stopped suddenly.“I remember this.Hold on.”He rummaged through the small desk on the wall, and returned holding a thick black sharpie.He handed it to her, along with the envelope.

“What do you remember?”Amy heard Rose ask, as she hastily scribbled a note on the back of Mickey’s envelope.

“The note.‘Your future self crashed your car.Sorry.Here’s £2000 to buy a new one.’”He quoted.Amy frowned.She held up the note for both of them to see.The first part matched Mickey’s recollection of it, but she hadn’t written anything about money.

“We haven’t got £2000 on us.”Rose pointed out.“People don’t just carry around £2000.”

“No, but I remember, there was definitely money.”Mickey disagreed.“It’s how I bought another car, it was cheap but I couldn’t have gotten it without the money we left.”

“I can ask one of the Doctors to sonic a cashpoint?”Rose suggested.

“Mickey should go, I don’t think they saw him as clearly.It’s safer.”

“But they won’t just give Mickey £2000 if he asks.They’ll give it to me.And I don’t want to have to explain why we need it.”

“Good point.”

Rose slipped out of the garage and headed for the flat.Amy sat down on the hood of someone else’s car and fixed Mickey with a look.

“What?”He asked defensively.

“How did you not remember this before?”She demanded.“This isn’t exactly the kind of thing you forget!”

“I wasn’t thinking about it!”

“When we stole the car?When the police started chasing us?When we _crashed_ _your_ _car_?And you still didn’t think of it?”

“I was a bit distracted!”He defended himself.

“Yeah, distracted crashing your younger self’s car.Just like the note said.”

“Well it’s not like I believed the note.”He argued.“Why would I?It’s ridiculous.”

Amy laughed then.Not at Mickey, but just at the entire situation.“What did you think happened, then?If you didn’t believe the note?”

“Honestly?”He shrugged.“I figured someone jacked the car, Rose found out, she left the note and money to make me feel better.”

“Would Rose do that?”

“Would Rose do what?”They both looked up, startled, to see Rose standing in the entrance to the garage.Her face was flushed, as if she’d been running, and in her hand she was clutching a fistful of money.

“Mickey thinks you faked the car crash and lied about it.”Amy told her.

“Oi!”

“That’s not what I said!”Mickey defended himself.“Amy!That’s not even what I said!”

“Well, anyway, I’ve got the money.”Rose told them, still glaring at Mickey.She handed it to Amy, who folded it up and added another line to her note.

“That was fast.”She commented.“Is there a cashpoint just around the corner or something?”

Rose shrugged.“Psychic paper.Nine soniced it so it stays looking like this.”

“Neat.”Amy handed the envelope and money to Mickey, who glanced at it to confirm that it matched his memories.“Let’s give this to Baby Mickey and get back to the flat, before the police come back.”

They dropped the note and money through Mickey’s mail slot, then hurried back to the flat.Mickey was carrying what groceries they had salvaged from the wreck; Rose and Amy kept an eye out for the police.They made it back to the Tylers’ flat without incident.

“Did you get the milk?”Donna asked, as soon as they walked in the door.From the glance she gave Nine, Amy guessed that he had been complaining most of the time they’d been gone.

“Yes,” Rose told her, as Mickey set the bag on the counter, “and it was awful.”

“The real question is, did you get the takeout?”Bill questioned them.“Because I am _craving_ shrimp chow mien.”

“No, we didn’t get the takeout.”

“Then what were you gone so long for?”Donna complained.

Amy, Rose, and Mickey shared a look.Then they all answered at the same time.

“Traffic.”

“Car broke down.”

“They didn’t have milk.”

There was a moment of silence.Then Amy hastened to straighten out their story.“There was traffic, and then the Aldi didn’t have milk, so we had to go to another store, and then Mickey’s car broke down so we had to get a jump.At the second store.”

Rose and Mickey both nodded, trying to look like this story was not new to them.

“What happened to the milk?”Nine groused, pulling the jugs out of the bag.Amy struggled not to groan when she saw them.While they hadn’t spilled open, there were visible dents in each of them and bits of grass had stuck to the sides where they’d fallen.

“Blimey, did you crash the car or something?”Martha joked.There was a beat.

“So what’s happened while we’ve been gone?”Rose asked loudly, sounding far too chipper.Jackie gave her a suspicious look, but answered anyway.

“We’ve been talking.And trying to figure out sleeping arrangements.”

“I thought we’d already figured that out.”Rose frowned.(Amy didn’t care either way.She knew that she and Rory would end up with the bed, no matter what the others decided.)

“Some of us were thinking of getting a hotel.”Martha explained.“So it won’t be so crowded in here.”

“Did any of you want to come with us?”Clara offered.

They exchanged another glance.“You know, I think we should probably stay in here.”Amy told them nervously.

“Suit yourself.”Donna shrugged.“I’m going.”

“But you’ve already got the couch.”Rose objected.

“Yeah, and now I’ve got a bed.Is there a problem with that?”

“I’ll take the couch.”Bill claimed it before an argument could break out.

“Rory,” Amy began sweetly, turning to her husband, “Could you go and get the takeout?”

“Why can’t you go?”

“I just don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He sighed, then nodded.“Alright, I’ll get the takeout.Is there a car I can use?”

“...You know what, why don’t you just walk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I know what you're thinking. "Is that it? Is that really the end? Why isn't there ever an explanation for how they got into this mess?" And the answer is, it will be explained. That's right. This storyline will be continued, later. Do I know when? No. It'll be many chapters in the future, and you'll have forgotten about it, and then all of a sudden you'll be reading and realize that "oh wait, that's how it happened!" Or at least, I hope that's what will happen.
> 
> Am I completely satisfied with this chapter? No. Do I have the motivation to fix it? Also no.
> 
> But, on a more personal note, I quit my job yesterday. Well, temporarily at least. It's such a weight off my shoulders, it's unreal. Which is good news for you guys, because it means I have more time to write!


	12. Half Past Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Bill

Sunlight was just beginning to shine through the windows when Bill woke up.It was early- the light was still watery and pale.For a moment, she wondered why she was awake.Then she saw the Ninth Doctor, cheerfully humming as he made his way through the kitchen.

“What are you _doing_?”She groaned, moving an arm over her eyes to block the light.Momentarily forgetting that she was on a couch, she rolled over, straight onto the ground below.

It was bumpier than she would have expected.And squishier.And... she scrambled back onto the couch, apologizing profusely as Ten opened his eyes and glared at her.Why was he sleeping at the foot of the couch, anyway?

Bill heard a sound from behind her and whipped around.Nine had managed to hide his laughter before she could see, but she knew it was him.His eyes were still glittering with amusement.“What are you laughing at?”She grumbled.“It’s not funny!”

“Yes, it is.”He disagreed pleasantly.“Pancakes?”

 

 

After a delicious breakfast of banana pancakes, which Nine had been happy to provide, they were off.It was only half past six, but despite how tired they all were, it managed to be a pleasant meal.The TARDIS let them in without a complaint, they bid goodbye to Rose’s mother, and took a quick trip to Martha’s hotel room.

A few seconds after landing, there was no sign of the three outside.Somehow, Bill was volunteered to go out and get them.She sighed and opened the door.

Martha was sitting up in her bed, rubbing her eyes blearily.There was a human-shaped lump under the covers next to her, only recognizable by the mess of dark hair spread across the pillow.The other bed was empty, but before she could wonder, Donna stepped out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in hand.

“Ready to go?”Bill asked brightly.

Martha glanced at Clara, looking disgruntled.“Why is she in my bed?”She asked, poking the brunette on the shoulder.

Clara huffed and rolled over, but did not open her eyes.

“Maybe she was coming onto you.”Bill suggested.

“She had to sleep there,” Donna explained to both of them, rinsing her toothbrush and dropping it on the counter,“Eleven’s on the couch.”

“What?”Martha and Bill asked at the same time, turning to look.Bill had to step farther out of the TARDIS to see that yes, the Eleventh Doctor was sitting on the couch.His tweed jacket was spread over his chest like a blanket, and he was nose-deep in a small blue book with yellowed pages.He looked up and smiled when he saw them.

“Good morning!”He greeted them brightly, putting his book down.As he stood up, he shrugged on his coat.“Are we off, then?”

“Er, yeah, but what are you doing here?”Bill asked him slowly.Last she’d checked, that had not been part of the sleeping plan.

“He showed up in the middle of the night, dripping wet.Clara let him in.”Donna informed them.“Wasn’t enough floor space at the flat, or something.”

“Oh, no, there was plenty of space.”He assured them.“I just couldn’t sleep over Jackie’s snoring.”

Bill couldn’t argue with that.Jackie Tyler _did_ snore, although it was nowhere near as bad as some of the boyfriends Moira had brought home.And Eleven had probably been closer to her room than Bill had been.

“Well- let’s just go, then.”Bill told them awkwardly.

“Wait, didn’t you know he was here?You must’ve noticed he was gone.”Martha pointed out logically.Bill did not answer.

In the end, Martha did manage to wake Clara up, and they all trudged back into the TARDIS.There were nowhere near enough seats in the console room for all of them, and Bill ended up being one of the unlucky ones; Mickey, Ten, Rose, and Amy had claimed the seats.The other two Doctors were standing ready to pilot, while everybody else quickly took hold of the railing.

“Where to first?”Eleven asked excitedly.Bill glanced at Martha, remembering the conversation from the day before.

She hesitated.“I guess I can stay a bit longer.I’ve just saved the world- UNIT can wait.”

“I’ll stay, too.”Mickey told them.“I mean, it’s not like there’s anything for me to do on Earth.I’ll give this adventuring thing another try.”

Bill supposed she was next.“I can’t, I really can’t.”She told them apologetically.“I have to get back to my Doctor, and find Heather, and...”

Eleven nodded.“To Bill’s house, then.Er, where exactly is that?”

“We were on a spaceship.I don’t know the year.”She admitted.“But you can try St Luke’s university, 2017.”

“2017 it is.”Eleven pulled a lever and the TARDIS began to dematerialize.“Geronimo!”

Despite the shaking, Bill managed to hold onto the railing and stay on her feet.But before they could rematerialize, the shaking suddenly stopped.

“Are we...” Amy began, sharing a look with Rose.Bill understood completely.They hadn’t landed.They had to still be in the time vortex.So why had they stopped?

“No.”Eleven told her, in a hushed voice.

Ten stood up cautiously and moved over to the console.“It’s like we’re frozen.”He murmured.

“Something must have followed us into the vortex.”Nine realized.

“Right.Everyone, stay calm-” Ten’s speech was cut off by a sudden noise from the doors.It was a boom that shook the entire room far more than the dematerialization ever had.Bill tumbled to her feet, knocking over Clara in the process.There was a moment of hushed silence, and then the noise came again.

Something was outside, and it wanted in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this... a DOUBLE UPDATE??? Hell yeah it is. Mostly because this chapter is super short, and also I really like the cliffhanger, so. Next chapter will probably be up Friday or maybe Saturday.


	13. Knock, Knock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Clara

Clara scooted away from Bill, not even bothering to stand up.The knock came again, louder this time.More insistent.

“What do we do?”Martha was the one to break the silence.“Do we answer it?”

“No.”Ten told them all.Something in his voice made Clara look over, and she was startled to see that he looked pale and afraid.“Everyone, stay away from the walls.”

“Do you think it’s…?”Eleven asked him.“It can’t be.”

“I don’t know.”

“But-“

“I.Don’t. _Know_.”

Clara exchanged a glance with Mickey.“Are we missing something?”She questioned.He shrugged, looking as lost as she felt.

Lacking anything else to do, Clara looked around at the others.The Ponds were on their feet, looking around warily; Martha, Mickey, and Rose were looking to the Doctors for direction; Donna looked like she had half a mind to go outside and deal with the problem herself; and Bill… Bill was crying.

That surprised Clara.Bill hadn’t struck her as the kind of person to start crying at the slightest danger.For a moment, Clara was worried that she’d hurt herself in the fall.She dismissed that idea almost instantly.Bill didn’t look like she was in pain.She didn’t even look afraid.Instead, she looked at the lone tear she had just wiped from her face with a dawning realization.

As Clara watched, thin streams of water began trickling down Bill’s arm.She couldn’t see where it was coming from, but it was there.Bill watched it for a few heartbeats, then clenched her fist.The water stopped.

“What is it, what’s going on?”Clara asked her.Bill did not reply.

Bill stood up and made her way towards the door, a small smile tugging at her lips.Clara wanted to stop her, but Bill was to the door before Clara could even get back on her feet. Ten reached for Bill, trying to pull her away, but he was moments too late.Her hand was on the door and she pulled it open.

Clara looked away, every atom of her existence screaming that she was in danger.All she registered was a bright light, searing through her eyelids, and then darkness.

She opened her eyes.The door was closed again, but their attacker hadn’t been shut outside.Instead, there was a dead-eyed girl with water flowing down her skin.She looked like the ghost of someone who had drowned, come to exact her vengeance on them all.Then the water faded and she was just a girl, with light brown hair and a star in her eye.

Bill kissed her.Clara looked away again, this time to give them privacy.After a few moments she glanced back, to see that they had broken off the kiss and were now staring into each other’s eyes.She cleared her throat.

“I take it this is Heather?”

 

 

Once everyone was introduced again, and Heather was reassured that Bill had not been kidnapped, they gathered around the console again.This time, Clara managed to claim one of the seats, using the excuse that she had already fallen once that day.Ten had, somewhat begrudgingly, given her his seat and gone to help the other Doctors pilot the TARDIS.

“Still want to go home?”Rose asked them.Clara couldn’t blame her.It was hard to imagine anyone wanting to leave the TARDIS.

“Yeah.”Bill told them with a nervous laugh.“Still got to find my Doctor, and, you know, this TARDIS is getting full already.”

“Good luck.”Clara told her.

“I guess this is goodbye.”Bill and Heather were holding hands now, and they both closed their eyes at the same time.Water began to run down their skin again, and they slowly melted away into a gigantic puddle.Clara lifted her feet off the floor, not wanting to get bits of Bill-and-Heather on her shoes.

The water didn’t go away.Everyone watched it for several moments, but it just stayed there.“Should we mop it up…?”Rory questioned awkwardly.

“Shouldn’t the water have gone away by now?”Amy wondered.

“It should’ve, unless they’re somehow creating matter every time they use their powers…”Ten theorized, taking his glasses out of his jacket pocket and putting them on.He bent down and squinted at the edge of the water, reaching out to tentatively poke it.

His finger had barely touched the puddle before it pulled away from him, condensing into a smaller and smaller puddle as two pillars of water spiraled up from the center.They quickly became recognizable as Heather and Bill, and the water faded from their skin again.

“Did you find him?”Mickey asked them.

“No.”Bill glanced at Heather, looking unsure of herself.“Does it usually feel like that?”

“No.”Heather was frowning and looking highly perturbed.“That’s never happened before.”

“Feel like what?”Clara asked Bill.

“Like you’re throwing yourself against a wall and you can’t break through.”Heather answered for her.“I couldn’t pinpoint him down at all, and it’s like there was something blocking the way.”

“We can try the university?”Martha suggested, after it became apparent that the Doctors were as clueless as the rest of them.

 

 

“It’s no use.”Bill trudged back into the TARDIS, Heather following close behind her.“He’s nowhere.”

“The whole university is different.”Heather added.“Nobody’s heard of him, the vault is gone, the memorial trees that he had us plant were never there… his classroom is a chemistry lab now.”

“That shouldn’t be possible.”Nine frowned.

“It’s like he’s been erased from history.”Bill told them.“Like he was never there.”

Ten turned to Eleven.“Have you built the telepathic circuits yet?”

“The what?” Nine asked, but Eleven was already nodding.

“The telepathic circuits.”Ten explained, moving to a place on the console and opening it to reveal wavy lines of a white gel-like substance.“I’ve been thinking about making a way to pilot the TARDIS based on thoughts and memories.I just hadn’t found a way to mitigate the risk of nerve damage.”

“That’s the gel.”Eleven added helpfully.“Helps distribute the psychic energy more evenly.Bill, come over here.”

“What do I do?”She asked, moving to stand beside the circuits.

“Put your hands here,” Ten told her, “and concentrate.Think about the last place you saw your Doctor.”

“Okay, and then…” She trailed off as the TARDIS began to move.Clara held on tightly to the sides of her chair, not wanting to risk another fall like the last time.

That was when things started to go wrong.They didn’t stop like they had the time before, but the entire TARDIS shook with the force of an earthquake.It was as if they had crashed.Like they had struck a wall at an angle, and were now skidding down it trying desperately to steer away.

“Focus!”Eleven was shouting at Bill.“You have to concentrate!”

The entire TARDIS flipped upside down.Just for a split second, gravity was the wrong way up.They spun back into normality within an instant.Although Clara managed to hold on, she banged her elbow on the back of her chair and a sharp pain shot up her arm.

“Let go!”Ten was shouting.“Let go _now_!”

Bill let go.They skidded on for a few more seconds and came to a rough stop.Clara was still holding onto her chair in a death grip, not trusting herself to let it go.Most of the others had not been so lucky.This landing had been far worse than their brief conflict with Heather.Almost everyone had ended up on the floor, although Heather seemed unaffected by the crash.The floor had warped under her feet, allowing her to stay completely stable.

“Where are we?”Donna asked, breaking the silence.She shoved Ten off of her and stood up, dusting off her clothes.“Did we make it to the ship?”

“That shouldn’t have happened.”Eleven said slowly.“That wasn’t just TARDIS-proof, that was _impossible_.”

“Impossible for anything in this universe, anyway.”Ten agreed with him.“Unless…”

“He’s not in this universe.”Nine finished his thought.“The malfunction that brought us here must have created an alternate timeline, changed history.He’s the Doctor that could have been.”

“But he was, I knew him, he definitely existed.”Bill argued.

“In another universe.”Eleven explained to her.“A parallel universe, identical to this one except that yesterday never happened.That explains why you were the only one from the future- the timelines must have still been separating.”

“So… we just have to travel to the other universe, then, and drop me off.”

“It’s not that simple, Bill.”Heather shook her head.“I can do practically anything, but even I have never been able to move between universes.We’re powerful, not invincible.”

“But there must be _something_ we can do.”Bill argued.At the look on her girlfriend’s face, she visibly deflated. “Well.I guess we’re staying, then.”She did not sound happy about that.

“Let’s see where we’ve landed.”Rose suggested, with a glance at the unhappy pair.

“Is now _really_ the time?”Martha asked her quietly.Or at least, she was trying to be quiet.Clara could hear her clearly from across the room, so clearly it was not quiet enough.

“She’s got a point.”Ten defended Rose.“We’ve landed, we may as well see where.Who knows, maybe it’ll be an adventure.”

“I don’t think-” Clara began, but Nine was already opening the door.Eleven offered her his arm to help her out of her chair, and she took it with a blush.She didn’t need help to get out of her chair, but it was a sweet gesture, and besides he was too adorable to say no to.

They were the last ones off the ship, and therefore their view was completely blocked by the mass of Doctors and companions standing in front of them.The ground was vibrating slightly, but not enough to unbalance her, and the air smelled oddly sterile.

“Doctor, where are we?”She asked Eleven quietly.

“Based on the vibrations, I’d say some sort of mining ship.Possibly gas.”He guessed. “Mid twenty-third century, based on the architecture.”

“A mining ship in the twenty-third century?”Ten repeated.He, Nine, and Eleven shared a look.“Have you, by any chance, landed us in the middle of a meteor storm?”

“There’s no meteors…”Eleven began, having shoved his way through the crowd to the small window with Clara in tow.As if on cue, a single meteor blazed across the blackness.Another followed, then another.

“Those look like meteors to me.”Clara commented.

“Yes.Quite.”

“Oh, this is bad.This is very bad.”Ten ran his fingers through his hair, watching the meteors go by.

“It’s just bits of rock, what’s so bad about it?”Rose asked him.She sounded concerned.

“Those bits of rock caused the worst disaster this region of space has ever known.Millions dead, all in one night.”Nine explained darkly.

“And we’ve landed right in the middle of it.”Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty important chapter plotwise, as it introduces the idea of a secondary universe. Also, shoutout to guest FeferiActualPeixes, who guessed that it was Heather.


	14. Drakon Gas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Eleven

Eleven took a moment to admire the meteors streaking by before turning back to the TARDIS crew.“Right.How are we getting out of this one?”

“We have the TARDIS.”Heather pointed out.

“She’s right,” Mickey agreed, “We can just fly away.”

“There are _people_ on this ship, Mickey.”Ten gave him a look of absolute disappointment.“We can’t just leave them to die.And to think, I let you travel with me.”

“Oi!”

“Are we allowed to save them?”Donna wondered.“After everything that happened in Pompeii...”

“And with my dad.”

“And your wedding.”

“The angels and River’s book.”

Ten shushed them all.“It’s not a fixed point.Well, it is, but not the details of it.We can save one ship, we just can’t stop the disaster altogether.”

“So what do we do?”Bill questioned.

“We find whoever’s in charge.”Eleven decided, taking command of the group before either of the other Doctors could do it.“We get the shielding up,stop the meteors from hitting, and save everyone.Any questions?”

Mickey raised his hand.Nine gave him a look.“You’re not a child, Rickey, you can put your hand down.”

He dropped his hand, looking sheepish.“But, ah, how are we supposed to do all that?”

“Well, this seems to be a standard model mining ship... we’re in the southeast corner right now, so the control room would be...”. Eleven ran the calculations in his head.

“That way.”Donna pointed.Eleven looked at her in surprise.“There’s a sign on the wall, Spaceman.”She teased him.

Nine took the lead before Eleven could step up again, and he dejectedly followed the crowd through the hall.Amy and Rory fell into step on either side of him.He glanced around for Clara, but saw that she was in an animated discussion with Rose and Bill about something or another.

“So what have you been up to while we’ve been gone?”Amy asked him.“How long’s it been for you?”

“Hmm?Oh, a while.”He told them vaguely.“Hung around in Victorian London for a while, met Clara, became a monk... you know, the usual.”

“None of that sounds usual, actually.”Rory informed him.

“Just last week I went to my grave.Almost died.Again.”Eleven offered.It wasn’t exactly the best of conversational topics, but they’d asked.

“How did you save the world this time?”

“Wasn’t me, actually.Clara saved me.”He pauses for a second, then added belatedly, “River was there.”

“It’s always Clara, isn’t it.”Amy pursed her lips.Too late, Eleven realized that she sounded bitter.“Ever since we got here.It’s all been about Clara.”

“Well- she’s my friend.”Eleven defended himself feebly.

“I know, I just...” She sighed suddenly, sounding defeated.“You’ve had all this time to get over us, all these years... and for me it’s been twelve hours.”

Eleven was silent for a moment.Then he said, “Decades.”

“What?”

“Not years, decades.Did you really think that I would forget about you so quickly?”

“Thanks, Raggedy Man.”She gave him a watery smile.

“For what?”

“For trying to make me feel better.”

They filed into the control room, near the back of the group.There was only a small crew, and Nine already seemed to be giving them an explanation with his psychic paper.Eleven, with nothing productive to do, stayed with the Ponds.

“So this is gonna be a full TARDIS, yeah?”Amy asked him.“If everybody’s staying.”

“It’ll expand to fit everyone.”He told her absent-mindedly.

“But how will-”

Rory’s question was cut off as they became aware of raised voices from the front of the crowd.“There is nothing wrong with the shielding!”The voice was unfamiliar.

“It’s completely offline!”That was Ten, arguing back.“Look at it!There’s a meteor storm all around you and you don’t have any shields up!”

“The shields are _fine_.”Eleven shoved his way through the crowd in time to see someone- the captain, based on her uniform- glaring up at Ten.

“Well shouldn’t you check, just to be sure?”Ten ‘suggested’.

“It’s all automatic, they’ll have activated it from the _Coleman_ when our scanners picked up the storm.”She didn’t sound concerned at all, just annoyed.“If you’re really inspectors, shouldn’t you know that?”

“We are inspectors.”Eleven told her.“Shielding inspectors.”

She raised an eyebrow.“Really?Because your friend here said you were communications inspectors.”

“We are, yeah!”Eleven covered as best he could.“Multi-purpose inspectors.My specialty is shielding, his is communications.”

“You’re not inspectors, you’re stowaways.” She told him flatly.“And bad liars, at that.You could’ve just _told_ us you wanted shelter from the meteors- we aren’t savages.”

“Yes.Stowaways, that’s us.”Nine grinned.

“And, er, as stowaways,” Ten added, smiling sheepishly, “could you please check the shielding?Just to be sure?I just won’t be comfortable until I know we’re safe.”

She gave him an unimpressed look, but flipped a switch on the console anyway.“ _DCS_ _Coleman_ , this is the _Blossom_.I repeat, this is the _Blossom_.”

There was nothing but static on the other end.

“ _DCS_ _Coleman_ , this is the captain of the _DG_ _Blossom_.Can you confirm that shields have been raised?”

More silence.She was beginning to look agitated now.

“ _DCS_   _Coleman_ , this is the _Blossom_.Can you read me?”

“They can’t hear you.”Eleven told her softly.“There have been electromagnetic distortions for weeks, haven’t there?”

“Not here.”She denied, but there was worry in her eyes.

“Not here, no- but on Neptune.”Ten took over.“All the comms are connected to one main system.”

“Any disruption of the core system, and all the comms go down.”She realized.“Company headquarters are on Neptune.”

“But it’s not just the radios, is it?”Nine continued. “That’s how the shielding is controlled, too.A radio signal, sent from the command ship, that tells the shields it’s time to go up.Without the signal…”

“But how do you know all this?”She looked between them all.“Why would you come onto a ship that you know isn’t safe?”

“Doesn’t matter.”Eleven told her.“What does matter is, we have to get those shields up.”

“It’s not just our ship.”The captain reminded him.“We’ve got four ships in this fleet, plus a transport vessel.There are people on every one of them.”

“The radio link isn’t broken, just disrupted.”Ten theorized.

“So if we can create a localized system, separate from the main one…”

“We can restore communications within the fleet!”

“Right.We’ll get to work on that- do any of the ships have secondary shielding?Force fields, particle repellers, anything?”Eleven questioned the captain.

She thought for a moment.“The _Jadely_ , to keep out smugglers.It can normally be activated from within the ship, but if all the systems went down…”

“We can kickstart it, won’t take long.”Nine suggested, pulling out his sonic screwdriver.

“I’ll go.”Bill volunteered.Then, with a glance at Heather, she corrected herself.“We’ll go.”

“You’ll need a pilot.”Ten warned them.“To use the transport.”

“I am the Pilot.”Heather reminded him.“I can fly anything.”

The captain took one last look at the Doctors, and seemed to make up her mind about something.“I’ll take you to the transport.”She told them.“Do what you can.”

With that out of the way, Eleven turned to the control desk.He sat down in the captain’s chair, reaching out to prod at some of the buttons and switches.“How many ships did you say there were?”

“Four.”Nine answered, seeing as the captain was not in the room.

“The _Blossom_ , that’s us, and the _Roosevelt_.The two mining vessels.”One of the crew members told him helpfully.“The _Jadely_ is the cargo ship and the _Coleman_ is the command ship.”

“What’re you mining for?”Martha asked, coming to stand by Ten.“Is it valuable?”

The crew member gave her a strange look.“Nitrogen gas.What else would we be looking for around here?”

“Hang on, I know ships.”Rose stepped up as well to join the conversation.“What does DG mean?Or what she called the other one- DSC?Those aren’t ship names.”

“Drakon Gas.Seeing as that’s the company we work for.And DCS stands for Drakon Control Ship.”A different crew member answered her.“Obviously.”

“Hold on, I always thought it was Drakon _Command_ Ship?”The first crew member questioned.

“Pretty sure it’s Control.”

“It doesn’t matter, they mean the same thing.”Eleven shushed both of them.“Where’s the nearest access to the wiring?”

“They wouldn’t happen to be headed for that one, would they?”Nine asked loudly, before anyone could answer Eleven.He was standing in front of the large glass window, through which they had a clear view of the danger around them.There was a tiny transport vessel, which he supposed must contain Bill and Heather, making it’s way across the sky.It was about halfway to another ship, a huge black mass easily three times the size of the one they were on.

“Yes, they would.”Eleven jumped as the captain’s voice came from just behind him.She must have just gotten back.“Why do you ask?”

“Well, it just seems like a ship as large as that, it’s a much greater surface for the meteors to strike.”Nine commented.

“The _Jadely_ is solidly built, even without the shields it’s probably the safest ship in the fleet.”The captain assured him.“It’d take more than a meteor to bring that ship down.”

“Something like… a really large meteor?”Ten guessed.Sure enough, seconds later, a huge meteor struck the hull of the ship.They all watched in silent horror as the ship fell out of the sky, in a huge burst of fire that vanished as quickly as it had appeared. A chunk of the wreckage hit Bill’s transport, sending it careening through the vacuum of space.

“Well.”Eleven spoke faintly.“I’d say the link has been broken.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this storyline is such *garbage*
> 
> Ok guys, serious question time. Do you want Ten/Rose or Nine/Rose? I can't decide.


	15. Pilot(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Heather

“The transport pod is this way.”The captain led them down the hallway.The perpetual slant of the floor told Heather that they were going down, most likely to the bottom of the ship."Do you have experience as a pilot?"

Bill and Heather shared a smile."Yeah."Heather told the captain."I like to think I'm pretty good at it."

"She's brilliant."Bill assured the captain, entwining her fingers in Heather's.Heather squeezed her hand in return.

"It's a slipstream engine with a standard Jovian steering system."The captain informed them, as they rounded another corner."There's a bit of a trick to the ignition, you have to-”

"Hold down the safety locks and pull right?"Heather guessed with a smile.It wasn't really a guess, though.She was the Pilot, after all; it was just instinct.

"...yes."The captain turned back to look at them, frowning slightly."How did you...?"

"Lucky guess."Heather lied.

They reached the transport pod in no time at all.It was small, with only two seats.One was in the front, surrounded by knobs and levers.The other was farther back and facing to the side.The rest of the ship was bare, but there were scuff marks on the floor from where something heavy had been dragged across the metal.

"I know you're trying to help," the captain began, and Heather shared a wary look with Bill."But you _are_ stowaways... this is completely against regulation."

"But we are trying to help.I promise."Bill's voice was simultaneously soft and passionate.It reminded Heather of another promise they'd made. _Promise_ _you_ _won't_ _leave_ _without_ _me?_ _I_ _promise_.She shook her head to clear the thoughts, and focused instead on what Bill was saying."Regulations aren't going to save your ship.But we can."

The captain hesitated."I'll send a crew member with you.Just to be sure."

Heather sighed, but recognized that they needed to act fast.They didn't have time to argue about this."Alright.But hurry."

"Everett!"The captain called loudly.Around the corner, a mousy-looking young boy leaned over to look at them.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Fly these girls to the _Jadely_.Shielding is down on all ships.It's urgent."She instructed, snapping out orders quickly and concisely.

"Yes, ma'am!"He saluted, then hurried onto the ship.Bill and Heather shared another glance, following him.Heather was uneasy about allowing someone else to come with them.She understood the captain's feelings, but it was too dangerous.She could already see that a ship this small was poorly built and flimsy, not built to withstand the slightest collision; she and Bill were practically immortal, but the boy wasn't.

"You don't have to pilot us."Bill told him, the moment the doors slid shut behind them."Heather is an amazing pilot, she can get us there."

"Sorry, ma'am." He didn't sound very sorry."I'm under orders.Only trained crew members can pilot any of the Drakon ships."There was a moment of tense silence, in which Heather seriously considered shoving the boy away and taking control of the ship.Then she decided that it wasn't worth it, unless he was a truly terrible pilot.

"Blimey."Bill said, looking around the cramped chamber."Is there even any air conditioning in here?"

Everett gave her a strange look."No.Why would we need air conditioning?"

"Er... to condition the air?"

Heather laughed at that."We're in the vacuum of space.If anything, we'd need heating."She paused, debating whether she should share the next bit of information."It's the shielding we should be worried about."

Bill looked at her sharply."Why?What's wrong with the shielding?"

"It doesn't have any."

"Well _that's_ rubbish, isn't it?"

"It's not meant to be launched in periods of turmoil."Everett explained, from where he was piloting the ship."Gravity distortions, solar flares... meteor storms."

"So basically this is completely unsafe?"Bill clarified.

"Not as long as we avoid the meteors."Heather assured her."We'll be in the shadow of the _Blossom_ for most of it, so it's really only the last minute or so that's difficult."

Bill was silent.Heather turned to look at her, wondering what had drawn her attention; to her surprise, she found Bill looking straight into her eyes.Heather couldn't help herself.Her eyes slowly slid down Bill's face, coming to a stop on her lips.

"Not now," Bill told her, a smile tugging at her lips.Heather's gaze flitted back up to her eyes, and she slowly walked closer.

"Such a shame.All alone, in outer space, with nothing else to distract us..."

"We're not alone."Bill pointed out."And we are literally about to die."

"He's not paying attention."Heather dismissed her worries, with a quick glance to check that this was indeed the case."And there's no time like the present."

"Not now."Bill said again, more firmly this time."Saving lives first, kissing later."

Heather sighed, acknowledging the truth of Bill's words.This probably was a truly terrible time to start making out.But it wasn't her fault that Bill was so bloody _cute_.It should really be illegal to be that cute, Heather thought.She said so, moments later.

"It should be illegal to be that cute.It's distracting."

Bill flushed red."Oh, like you can talk."

"Are you saying I'm cute?"

"No.I'm saying you're _adorable_."

"Well, you're beautiful."

"And _you're_... angelic."

Heather was saved from thinking of another compliment when the ship suddenly lurched to the side."We've left the shadow!"Everett warned them, swinging the ship in a wide arc to dodge another meteor.

There were no windows in the transport, so Heather moved up to the front of the ship.Beyond the windows there was the pure blackness of space, dotted with tiny stars and far-off galaxies.Looming ahead of them was a large black ship, which she presumed was the _Jadely_.And all around them were meteors, streaking past and pummeling the sides of the _Jadely_.

Everett swerved again as a meteor glanced off the side of their ship, leaving a scorch mark and warped glass on the corner of the windshield.

"Oh, let me have it."Heather reached for the controls.Everett seemed like a decent pilot, by human standards, but Heather was _the_ Pilot.Judging by the amount of meteors all around them, she was their only chance at reaching the _Jadely_ in one piece.

"I've got it!"Everett protested, refusing to relinquish control.Heather shouldered him out of the way, not sparing a moment to apologize.She was just in time, too, as she sent the ship in a spiral to avoid a group of meteors that had bounced off of the _Jadely_ and were coming straight for them.

"How much farther is it?"Bill asked loudly.Heather couldn't see her from where she was, but she was certain that Bill was moments away from joining them in the front of the ship.

"Almost there!"Heather told her, swerving to the right again.This time, there was a loud noise from the back of the ship.Not the crash of a meteor striking them, but the thump of a body hitting the floor."Did you fall?"

"Yeah."

"Well what did you do that for?"

"Oh my god."Everett interrupted them, staring at something beyond them.Heather followed his gaze, but before she could find what he was looking at, there was a burst of fire from the _Jadely_.Chunks of ship filled the air, radiating out from the crash site.Heather pushed the throttle as far as it could go, sending their ship into a nosedive to avoid the shrapnel.

A piece hit the back of their ship, sending them spinning to the side.Heather was thrown to the floor, unable to see as the lights in the cabin flickered off above them.She groaned.

"Heather?"Bill's voice came from beside her, sounding dazed.

"I'm here."Heather assured her.The lights flickered on slowly, one at a time.Heather could see that Bill was sitting up, rubbing her head, and had miraculously avoided breaking any bones in the fall.(Heather would have been able to sense it if she had.They were, after all, the only Pilots in existence.)

Everett had not been so lucky.He was sprawled out on the floor, one leg bent the wrong way and his head at an odd angle.She cursed under her breath, leaning over him and feeling for a pulse.

"He ok?"Bill asked her.Heather didn't turn to look, just shaking her head slightly."Oh my god."

"If we can get back to the _Blossom_ , they can fix him. The technology in the century is good, they can probably... they can probably save him."

"How do we get back?"Bill moved to the front of the ship, and Heather could practically feel her confusion as she looked at all of the different levers and buttons.

"The crash must have damaged the engines.Try turning it on again."Heather instructed, holding her hands over Everett's chest and focusing.In the other world, she'd had all of creation at her fingertips.Here, it was all she could do to keep him in stasis so that he wouldn't be damaged further.

"That's the green button, yeah?Hold down the safety and lean to the right?"Heather didn't even reply.By the time Bill had finished speaking, the lights had grown brighter and the engine roared to life.

"Follow your instincts."Heather encouraged."You know how to fly it, you just have to trust yourself."

The ship lurched to the side, and Heather had to grab Everett's arm to keep his body from sliding around.A moment later, Bill spoke again, sounding more and more panicked."The steering's out.Heather, the steering's out.What do I do?"

"Alright, we can't go back then... just try not to get hit, and we'll wait for the others to come and get us."

"Shouldn't you come and pilot?"

"I'm keeping him in stasis.The fresher the body, the higher the chances of saving him."She explained quickly."Just keep us moving, and try not to die."

"Right."Bill repeated."Keep moving, try not to die."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I enjoy this chapter, don't get your hopes up for the next one. It's pretty garbage. It desperately needs a rewrite, but as you may have noticed, I barely have the energy for editing. A total rewrite is out of the question. This counts as your Wednesday update, btw, so don't expect another one in the morning.
> 
> That said, I absolutely love the next storyline (much more than I do this one) so you have that to look forward to.


	16. Tastes Like Licorice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this, please be aware that I know it's garbage. I just can't be bothered to fix it.

In the end, saving the ships was easy.With the link broken, it had become much harder to get the shielding up.The Doctors had conferred, and decided that it would be necessary to have one person on each ship, so they could reconnect the link from all sides.They had split by Doctor.Ten, Donna, and Martha had stayed on the first ship.Eleven had taken Amy, Rory, and Clara to the _Roosevelt_.Rose had gone with Nine and Mickey to the _Coleman_.They'd used the TARDIS, since Bill and Heather had proved that it obviously wasn't safe to take transport vessels.

What had followed was very dramatic- far more dramatic than it had needed to be, even.It would have been great in a movie, or a tv show, or a book even.Nine had marched right into the control room, with Rose and Mickey carrying large guns behind him (no need for their victims to know that they were actually futuristic rumbas) and commandeered the ship. She and Mickey had stopped the crew from revolting while Nine fiddled with the wiring, until all of a sudden the radios connected.The shielding went up almost instantly after that.

With the immediate danger out of the way, the Doctors had managed to reverse the magnetism of the transport dock and suck Bill and Heather's doomed ship back to safety.The pair of them had exited, looking none the worse for wear, carrying the body of a crewman with them.Medics had been called, everyone was panicking, and the TARDIS crew managed to slip out unnoticed in the chaos.

Which led them to where they were now.Sitting in the tv room- the only place with seats enough for all of them- arguing over the layout of their newly expanded home.

"I still think the old setup is fine!"Ten was defending his precious TARDIS, while most of the companions and even the other Doctors were looking at him like he was crazy.

"We can't just have a hallway full of bedrooms, that's ridiculous!"Martha argued."There isn't even a central sitting area!"

"We've got this!"

"No, Martha's right."Mickey agreed."This room is, like, way off to the side.It's not convenient."

"The TARDIS can move it, then!"Donna, surprisingly, was taking Ten's side in all this."It's a perfectly fine room."

"But move it where?If we have the console room right at the front, like we always have, and then the sitting room is right beyond that..."

"And then we can have a hallway of bedrooms right off of the sitting room."Ten stuck stubbornly to his original idea.

"I don't want a hall of bedrooms.There's a lot of us, some people would have to walk really far to get to their rooms."Rose pointed out.At her judgement, Ten immediately quietened.She couldn't help but be amused by that fact.

"Honestly, this is ridiculous."Bill spoke up."Who cares how it's arranged?We can just let the TARDIS decide."

There was a murmur of agreements to that, and then Nine took control of the conversation."Now that that's settled, we need to talk about going out."

"What about going out?"Bill wondered, at the same time as Donna groaned.

"We just got _in_ , and now you want to go out again?"

"Exactly!"Nine spoke over her."Today was a disaster!A complete and total disaster!"

"We saved, like, 200 people."Rory pointed out."That's not really a disaster."

"But it was confusing!There were so many of us, anyone could have gotten lost."Nine clarified his point."I mean, look at Bill and Heather."

Rose did.They were sitting together, Bill cuddling into Heather's shoulder.They didn't look injured in the slightest, but she had to admit that Heather looked troubled.And she'd been oddly quiet through the whole meeting.

"They could have been killed.We had so many people to keep track of, it just overcomplicated things."Nine continued."So, I think we should start going out in smaller groups."

"So, one or two companions, and a Doctor?"Martha clarified."Sounds good to me."

"And me."Rose agreed.

"It'll be just like old times!"Ten enthused, sharing a grin with her.Rose couldn't help but laugh and look away.

"Great!"Eleven clapped his hands together, straightening up in his seat."That's settled, then.Clara and I will go."

"We just got back!"Clara argued."I'm tired!"

"We were only out for an hour.It's still morning."Rose told her.She, for one, fully supported Clara and Eleven going out first.It would give her more time to sleep, while they were out there battling aliens.

"If you're so awake, why don't _you_ go?"Clara challenged her.

Rose paused.She didn't really have an argument for that."Because I... don't want to?"

"Right then.Rose and Clara will both go, the rest of us can catch up on sleep."Mickey said decisively.Rose wanted to argue with him, but she didn't really have a leg to stand on.She just sighed.

"Where did you want to go, then?"Clara asked Eleven as the others filed out of the room.He shrugged.

"Out."

"How about Egypt?"Rose suggested."I've never been to Egypt."

"Ooh, we can go meet Nefertiti!A good friend of mine, Nefertiti."Eleven grinned.

"First Cleopatra, now Nefertiti?"Rose teased, although she couldn't deny that there was a note of bitterness to it."I'm starting to think you just have a thing for Egyptians."

"Oh, I forgot about Cleo!Should we go visit Cleo?"

"Is there any part of Egypt you haven't been before?"Clara asked hopefully.

 _Hopefully, one without famously beautiful queens,_ Rose thought to herself.Out loud, she said, "Nefertiti is fine.Let's go see Nefertiti."After all, if one of the Doctors was going to be flirting with a queen, at least it wasn't one of _her_ Doctors.

The Eleventh Doctor led them into the console room.After an uneventful trip through the vortex- thankfully not involving creepy girlfriends or a crash into the walls of the universe- they landed.Rose opened the doors.

"...Yep.That's Egypt."

In front of the TARDIS was a vast stretch of desert hills.There was no civilization in sight, and Rose could already feel the air drying out her skin.

There was a moment of silence while all three of them surveyed the land.Then Clara spoke."Does anybody else want a water bottle?"

"Yeah."

"Probably a good idea."

They shut the door and Clara vanished down the hallway towards the kitchen.A few minutes later she returned, carrying three large water bottles.One was a pearly pink, one a bright mint green, and one a shiny dark blue.Clara offered the pink one to Rose.

She took it, and immediately passed it to Eleven.He beamed as he stuck it into his jacket pocket, looking quite pleased with the colour.One eyebrow raised, Clara passed the blue one to Rose, who took it happily.

"You know what would be _really good_ right now?"She thought out loud."If there was a carabiner just sitting here on this console."

She reached out and grabbed a carabiner, from a place there had definitely not been a carabiner before.With a satisfied smile, she clipped the water bottle onto her belt.

Clara's eyes narrowed."I could _also_ really use a carabiner."She reached out, without looking, to the same space Rose had grabbed hers.Then she pulled her hand back suddenly, making a face."Ugh.Used chewing gum."She wiped her hand off on her skirt.

"I can carry it for you!"Eleven offered."I've got pockets."

"Yeah, but what if we get separated?"Clara pointed out logically."We _always_ get separated."

"Well then..."He trailed off, looking around.Obviously he found what he was looking for, because moments later he brightened."Aha!"

He grabbed some sort of metal contraption from the underside of the console, pulling it loose with little effort.Rose watched as he unhooked a circular ring, attached to which was what looked like a cupholder.

"What's that for, then?"Clara asked him.

"It's a portable cupholder!"He announced."You just put it on your leg, and then you've got a cupholder!"

"That's not gonna fit on my leg."

"It changes size to adjust for whatever it's attached to."He explained, taking a step towards her.Clara held out her hand, palm up, and waited for him to hand it over.Rose watched, holding back a laugh.

Eleven stared at her hand.There was a moment of silence before she explained, "Give me the cupholder.Unless you were planning to put it on yourself?"

She was clearly joking, but he flushed slightly."Of course not!Here you go.I would never do anything like that, that would be creepy.And weird."

Clara stared at him for another few seconds before shaking her head."Yeah, whatever."She knelt down and latched the ring around her upper leg, watching as it resized itself to fit.Then she set her water bottle into the cupholder.

"Isn't that heavy?"Rose questioned her.

"Nah.Is it antigrav?"Her question was directed at the Doctor, who nodded enthusiastically."Nice.Are we all ready then?"

"I've landed us just outside of the great city of Thebes, home of the Queen Nefertiti."Eleven told them grandly, stepping out of the TARDIS and gesturing to the desert."This is about six months before I saw her last, should be a relatively quiet day... although it never is with us, is it Clara?"

"Sometimes I wish it was."Clara commented.Eleven's put-out expression reminded Rose of Mickey, who used to follow her around like a loyal puppy.Although, in Eleven's case, it was more like a domesticated giraffe than a dog.She sniggered at that, and resolved to tell Nine later.

"Are you sure this is Thebes?"Rose asked, walking around the TARDIS and coming back to where the others were standing."Because, I'm not an expert on Egypt, but shouldn't there be, I dunno, buildings or something?"

Eleven paused.Then he knelt down and tasted the sand, making a face and trying to wipe it off his tongue."Eurgh.Tastes like licorice."

"No it does not!"Clara argued, laughing.At Eleven's prompting, she reached down and tried a bit of it herself.She spat it out."That tastes nothing like licorice!"

"Timelord taste buds."He explained."But do you realize what that means?"

"No, I can't even taste it, how should I know what it means?"

"It means this isn't Thebes.This is whole centuries before Thebes.Well, before Thebes was the capitol, anyway.And we're in entirely the wrong part of Egypt."

"So... we go back in the TARDIS and try again?"Rose guessed.

"Of course not!We go exploring!"Eleven beamed.And, even as Rose nodded her agreement, she was already thinking of all the ways this could go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Everett survived. Yes, I literally just summarized the ending instead of writing it, and jumped right into the next storyline. But you know what? At least I wrote something. It's been a busy few weeks and I just never have time.


	17. The Queen of Egypt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Eleven

"So then, we found her ship, and it turned out the Siren was just a nurse trying to save everyone."Eleven finished regaling Rose and Clara with his tale."And Rory had to get CPR."

"Sounds fun.How come you've never taken me to a pirate ship, Doctor?"Clara asked him.

"Er... I can take you to a pirate ship right now!Would you like to go back and do a pirate ship instead?"He offered.Sure, they'd been walking for a while, but the TARDIS wasn't _that_ far away.And pirate ships were more interesting than deserts anyway.

"Are you kidding me?"Rose demanded."We've been walking for twenty minutes!I'm not turning around now!"

"Oh, come on!It's a nice day!Just think of this as... a relaxing walk on the beach."

" _Nice day_?"Rose questioned, at the same time that Clara grumbled, " _What_ beach?"

"Well... there's sand?"He offered."Beaches have sand, don't they?"

"Yes, beaches have sand.You've been to beaches before."

"Well, I _hope_ we find a beach soon.We've certainly been walking long enough..."Rose trailed off as they reached the crest of a hill.In front of them lay something incredible.Not a beach, but a huge, sprawling city, with huge stone pillars and sand-brick houses.

"A city!"He grabbed Clara's hand."Let's check it out!"

He tried to run down the hill, but tripped.He lost his grip on Clara's hand as he tumbled down, rolling on for what seemed like ages until he finally came to a stop.Looking up, he saw that Clara was not far behind him on the ground and Rose was carefully making her way down on both feet.

"Right!"He sprang to his feet, shaking the sand off of his coat."I meant to do that!"

Clara glared at him from the ground."I'll have sand in my hair for days."

"Not if you wash it."

He wasn't sure why that made her glare worsen, but he suddenly had an intense desire to redeem himself.He offered Clara a hand to help her up, and she took it.

"So, what city's this, then?"Clara asked him, as she dusted the sand off of her.

"I dunno, but it's a big one."Rose answered her, as she reached the bottom of the hill."Looks like there's a temple or something that way, might want to check it out."She pointed in a direction.

As they walked down the street, Eleven couldn't help but notice they were being stared at.And by 'stared at', he meant absolutely gawked at while people whispered furiously among themselves and pointed.He hoped that wasn't bad news, but fully expected that it was.

"Doctor?"Clara asked him quietly."Why are they looking at us?"

"Just keep moving."He hissed back."They can't do anything, we're outnumbered."

"That isn't exactly a good thing!"Rose pointed out.

"Yes it is, it means they can't morally justify attacking us."

"No, that's really not how this works."

He did not deign to reply to Clara, as they had just reached the temple that Rose had told them about.As they got closer, however, he realized that it was not a temple.It was a huge, pillared building carved out of stone, painted a startling combination of green and gold.And it was easily as big as the Roman Colosseum, if not bigger.He could easily see how she had mistaken it for a temple, but- being the genius Timelord that he was- Eleven knew that it was a palace.Whoever ran the city, that was where they lived.

As they approached the palace, several of the guards started whispering to one another.One of them sent a little serving boy running inside, although Eleven wasn't sure what for.

"Hello!"He greeted the guards, eyeing their weapons cautiously."My name is the Doctor, and these are my-”

He was cut off by all of the guards raising their curved swords in attack formation.Within moments, there was a sword to his and Rose's necks, and all three of them were being marched along into the building.None of the guards had said a word.

"Could you, maybe, tell us where you're taking us?"He managed to ask, although the pressure on his throat made it difficult.

The guard responded by simply pressing the sword harder against Eleven's neck.It was starting to draw blood, and he was becoming quite worried.

"What are you doing?"Clara demanded."Let them go!"

The guards exchanged a look, and released the pressure slightly.Immediately, Eleven relaxed, but Rose did not.She took the opportunity to stomp on the foot of the guard holding her, and then proceeded to elbow him in the gut.She spun away, visibly ready for a fight.Eleven, however, had not been prepared to fight and was now being held in a death grip.

This altercation took place right outside of what Eleven presumed was the throne room.The doors was solid gold, with green accents, and wider than Clara was tall.

The guard lunged for Rose, and she responded by pushing open the door and bursting into the room.Eleven couldn't see what she did, but he saw her freeze immediately upon entering.The guard grabbed her arm as Eleven and Clara were brought into the room as well.

The guards all bowed low, and Eleven was forced to follow their lead."My queen," one of the guards began, we found these strangers just outside of the palace.We thought that you may wish to see them."

Eleven followed the guard's gaze to the queen's (or shouldn't it be Pharaoh's?) throne.And then he reeled back in shock, because where the Pharaoh should have been sitting was... well... there was really no other way to say it.The Queen of Egypt was an exact duplicate of Clara Oswald.

 

 

 

"Who are you?"The queen asked in what was unmistakably Clara's voice.Well, if Clara's voice had an Egyptian accent rather than a Northern one."And why do you look like me?"

Eleven opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by a glare from the queen."I was speaking to the girl."She clarified coolly.

Clara took a deep breath."My name is Clara Oswald."She began."These are my friends, the Doctor and Rose.We... we come from far away.Sent by the gods, to aid you in your mission."She grew more confident as she went on, and Eleven couldn't help but beam at her.

"Sent by the gods."The queen repeated."Well, I suppose there is no other explanation for your appearance.And I will not deny the gods, when they have so kindly offered me your assistance."

"Yes, your mission."Eleven jumped in to the conversation, as the guards released both him and Rose."What would that be, exactly...?"

There was a moment of silence."Er, answer his question."Clara added."Please."

"I find it odd that the gods would not have shared that information with you, if they truly sent you to me."She commented.

"Well, er... the gods!Those tricky little... things... being all mysterious..."

The queen nodded as she accepted Clara's explanation."I am Osoclea, Queen of Egypt and wife of Pharaoh Scorpion II.And my mission, of course, is to unite all of Upper Egypt against the greed and tyranny of the south."

"Right.Greed and tyranny.Well, today is your lucky day, because we are here to help you!So, er, what do you need from us exactly?"

"The Naquada have come to us seeking help."She explained."Lower Egypt is already infringing on their borders.But in order to stop Lower Egypt, and thus keep my kingdom safe, we will need more help.But the Badari are refusing to help us, as Lower Egypt has yet to threaten them."

"And the Badari, they're strong?Good military, they'd be a big help?"Rose guessed.Osoclea nodded.

"They have bronze weaponry."Eleven told Rose and Clara."Much more advanced than the other kingdoms at this time.Their help would be invaluable to Upper Egypt."

Now that Osoclea had introduced herself, he knew exactly where they were.She and her husband had been lost to history, but that didn't mean much to a Timelord.They were in the city of Tjenu, in the 3050s BC.

"Yes.My husband is negotiating with them, but they ask for too much.They would have us bow down to them, and my husband will never allow that."

"Well, let me and my companions discuss, and we will, er, think of ways to help you."Clara promised her.

"Certainly."Osoclea motioned for the guards, and they led the Doctor and Clara to a large, open room.There was no roof, and the midday sun streamed down on them.Eleven moved to the shadow of the wall, not wanting to be burnt.

"Why does she look like you?"Rose demanded, as soon as the guards had left the room."What's going on?"

"It's complicated!"Clara hissed back.

"Well it seems like it might be important!"

"Girls!"Eleven stepped between them, hoping to calm them both down and prevent a fight from breaking out."We need to focus."

Rose and Clara turned twin glares onto him, and Eleven shrunk back."We're adults."Clara told him icily.

"Yes, I know."He wasn't sure why that mattered, or what he'd done wrong.

"Will one of you just explain?"Rose asked, sounding exasperated.

"It's really quite simple."Eleven explained quickly."She jumped into my time stream, to stop the Great Intelligence who had also jumped into my time stream, and it created a lot of copies of her.Different Clara Oswalds, scattered through time and space.My Clara is the original, but Osoclea is one of the copies."

Rose stared at him as if he'd grown another head.He almost reached up, to check that he _hadn't_ grown another head, but thought better of it.

Clara was focusing on a different part." _My_ Clara?"She repeated, sounding amused.

He blushed."My Clara, as in the Clara that travels with me.Like Amy is my Amy, and Rory is my Rory."He clarified.That was a complete and utter lie, and he had no idea _why_ he'd called her _his_ Clara, but he had and now he had to cover for it.Something about his explanation didn't feel right, and there was a faintly wounded look in her eyes, but he did his best to ignore it.

"Right then."She changed the subject, looking away from him."We need a plan.How are we gonna convince the... whatever they're called, to help Upper Egypt?"

"The Badari."He supplied the name.

"We offer them something they can't refuse.Clean water, medicine, some sort of technology?"Rose suggested."Not like _technology_ technology, but something that's around in this time that they don't have access to."

"They'll see that as bribery."Eleven disagreed."It'll make them hate us.Clara, can't you just speechify them?"

"Speechify?"She repeated, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, you know, make a speech.Tell them about compassion and bravery and how they should stick together."He shrugged."You _did_ talk that Ice Warrior out of nuking us that one time."

"Then you give a speech!You're better than me at it anyway."She argued.

"But I don't look like their queen."He pointed out."You can pretend to be Osoclea, give a speech as her, and then they'll accept your offer to join Upper Egypt."

"Or you could wear drag."Rose said under her breath.

"I'm not wearing drag.Clara, you can do it.I know you can."He gazed into her eyes, willing her to accept.She was a brilliant motivational speaker, really.

"I... ok.I'll dress up as a queen and talk to some Egyptians."She agreed after a few moments."But you had better thank me for this."

"I always thank you."

"And make me breakfast.For a week."

"A _week_?"

"Yes.A week.Or no deal."

"...Fine.I'll make you breakfast for a week."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a chapter I actually like. I've decided to take Jack off the character list, but don't be alarmed- polls are still open as to whether he will join the crew. I just think that since it won't be for a while (if it happens) I shouldn't advertise that he's here.


	18. A Traitor In The Court

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Clara

"I still don't think this is a good idea."Clara complained, as Rose finished applying the final touches to her Egyptian makeup.She glanced in the mirror.It was messy, and completely ugly by 21st century standards, but she suppose dit did help her look more like Osoclea.

"It'll be fine."Rose assured her."Your hair's a bit light and your skin's too pale, but hopefully they won't notice that."

" _Hopefully_?"

"It's fine."Rose promised again.Clara stood up and took a deep, shaky breath.

"I don't know if I can do this."She admitted.

"All you have to do is walk in there, make up something about how the Ba-whatsits threaten us all and we need to work together, and leave."

"Oh, is _that_ all?If it's so easy why don't _you_ do it?"

"Because _I_ am not the perfect duplicate of the current Pharaoh."

"I'm not the duplicate of _her_ , she's the duplicate of me."Clara grumbled.

"Same thing.Anyway, I think Eleven is waiting out there, so..."Rose gestured to the door.Clara rolled her eyes and followed her, looking rather displeased with this entire plan.

Ten minutes later, they found themselves standing in front of another pair of ornate doors.These doors, however, Clara could hear movement on the other side of.She took a deep breath, nodded at the real Osoclea, and strode in.

"My queen!"There was a singular long table in the center of the room.At one end sat a tall, gruff looking man with a big hat. Clara supposed it was probably a crown, but it didn't look much like one.It looked even less like a crown than the one she was currently being forced to wear, as a part of her disguise.

"Yes."She greeted him, trying to recall his name but drawing a complete blank."I have come to join the negotiations.Er, which of you is Badari...?"

"I represent the Badari."The man at the opposite end of the table told her. _Ohh_ , Badari was a group of people, not the name of their leader.

"You have never taken an interest in politics before..."Her supposed husband trailed off."I'm afraid negotiations are at a standstill right now.We have been unable to come to an agreement."

"Because your idea of 'agreement' is my people as your servants."The Badari leader retorted.

"As if your demands are any better."

"Better for my people, yes."

There was a whole table of politicians and advisors, but none of them looked willing to butt into the argument.That, unfortunately, meant Clara had to do it.

"Lower Egypt is a threat to us all."She began.

"We share no borders with them.The Badari are safe."

"Yet.You share no borders, _yet_.But if you don't help us, Lower Egypt will overtake us, and then you _will_ have to deal with them.It's better to face them now, together, than to wait until we are dead and face them alone."

"And yet, your husband will offer nothing to us in exchange for our aid."

"He offers you your lives.If we don't work together, we will all die.Right now, we are outnumbered and outgunned.But if we help one another, we can defeat Lower Egypt and unite the lands, once and for all."

The Badari leader did not look very convinced.Luckily for Clara, at that exact moment, something much bigger took their attention away from her unsuccessful speech." _Fire_!"

Clara didn't know who was screaming, but she did know that they were right.The smell of smoke was filling the room.She couldn't see where it was coming from, but she coughed, and then Eleven was by her side.

"Get everyone outside!"He was shouting.Clara could see Rose guiding people out the door, which Eleven was now pulling her towards.

"Where's the fire?"She asked him, as they ran down the hallway.

"Everywhere.Someone was trying to trap us in that room, seal off the exits.They must have started the fire too soon, or this way would be blocked off too."

They had reached the next room.Unfortunately, their next hallway was blocked off by fire as well.Eleven looked around the room as Clara tightened her grip on his arm."What do we do?"She whispered.

His eyes lit up as he caught sight of the windows." _Geronimo_!"He yelled, as he pulled her towards the window and prepared to jump.

At the last second, Clara let go of his hand.She hadn't meant to, but she'd spotted something in the corner of her eye that made her freeze.A pair of eyes, watching her from the other side of the fire in the hall.A _child's_ eyes.

Without thinking, Clara ran towards the child.She jumped through the flames, holding back a scream as she felt the heat envelop her.The child looked frozen in fear.He couldn't have been more than eight or nine years old.

"We've got to get you out of here."She told him, as Rose followed her through the flames.She couldn't go back the way they'd come; there was no way she was taking a child through that wall of fire.

"Is there another way out?"Rose asked her.Clara looked around.She could see smoke at the other end of the hallway, but there didn't seem to be any flames there, so it seemed to be their best option.

"Can you carry him?"Clara asked, pouring some water on her hands as she surveyed their options.Rose nodded and picked the child up.

Clara led the way down the hallway, hoping there was a stairwell or something she could go down.As luck would have it, there was one; _un_ luckily, it was also on fire.

"How do they even have this much fire?"Rose complained.She sounded out of breath."There's no wood."

"Chemicals?"Clara offered.There was another window at the edge of the room, and she hurried towards it.

"Can we make the jump?"Rose asked her.

"I think so.Here, let me go first."Clara took off her shoes, wincing as she did so, and threw them out the window.As much as she loved those shoes- she'd specifically chosen the shortest heels she had, so she could run in them- it wouldn't do to break an ankle with a bad landing.Then she jumped.

Clara hissed as the desert sand burnt her feet.Forcing herself to ignore the pain, she looked up and called out to Rose."It's safe, come down!"

The boy jumped next, and Clara caught him as he stumbled on his landing.Then came Rose, who immediately fell to her knees and fumbled for her water bottle.

"Where's the Doctor?"Clara looked around, concerned that she didn't see anyone she recognized.No Eleven, no Osoclea, not even Osoclea's husband.Just various city-dwellers who were watching the fire with horror in their eyes.

"Over there."Rose pointed.Clara stumbled in that direction, soon seeing exactly what Rose had; Eleven's pink pearl water bottle, sticking halfway out of the sand.

"Doctor?"She called." _Doctor_!"

"Clara!"He pulled himself out of the sand a little ways away.Lying beside him, concealed by the crest of the hill, were Osoclea and the other advisors.Eleven pulled Clara into a hug, then released her with a frown."What happened to you?"

Clara glanced over her shoulder and saw Rose approaching them, the child walking beside her.One of the advisors, the first one to pull himself out of the sand and look over to them, growled under his breath.He actually, really, growled.

"You saved the boy?"He demanded."That ruins _everything_!"

Clara stared at him, and raised her eyebrows slowly."Excuse me?"

He froze."I- that is, I mean to say-"

" _You_ set the fire?"It was the Badari leader speaking now."How could you?I _trusted_ you!"

"I- yes, I admit it!I set the fire.Because Queen Osoclea told me to!"He lied.Clara could see that it was a lie, because there was no way her echo would do something like that.

"Liar!"Osoclea's husband accused him."You are a spy for Lower Egypt!Admit it!"

"Fine!I was sent my Lower Egypt, to frame Upper Egypt for the fire.And the murder ofthe Naquada prince."He confessed.

"Blimey."Rose commented in Clara's ear."If people always confessed that easily, life would be a whole lot easier."

"You would kill the prince?He's just a child."Osoclea looked shocked and horrified.The prince, whom Clara had not at all suspected of being a prince, was cowering behind Rose.

"You have been sabotaging the negotiations all along."The Badari leader realized."You convinced me not to accept their terms, and you tried to drive the Naquada into abandoning the alliance as well!"

"He will be executed for his crimes."Osoclea's husband promised.

The Badari leader turned to Osoclea and her husband."Now that I see the truth, I would like to offer my support in your fight against Lower Egypt.They should not have threatened my people.Please accept my apology, Pharaoh Scorpion II."

"Scorpion?That's a shite name."Clara muttered under her breath.

"In payment for your assistance, is there anything we can offer you?"Osoclea asked Clara."Money, gold, anything you require."

Clara exchanged a look with Rose."Maybe a lift back to our ship?"She suggested."I don't think I'm gonna be walking very far."

"What happened to your _feet_?"Eleven asked her in shock, looking at them for the first time.

"Burned them."Clara replied."On the burning hot floor, and then I jumped out a window and landed on burning hot sand.There's been a lot of burning today."

"Yeah, let's get you back to the TARDIS."Rose told her.

Osoclea helpfully provided them with camels.As they rode towards the TARDIS, Clara practically asleep in Eleven's arms, she suddenly thought of something very important."Doctor," she began.

"Yes, Clara?"

"How come I've never heard of them?If Osoclea and Scorpion are the ones who united Egypt, why did we never learn about them in school?"

Eleven was silent for a moment."I hoped you wouldn't ask that."He admitted.

"Why, what is it?"

"That boy you saved, the Naquada prince.His name is Narmer."Eleven began.The same sounded vaguely familiar to Clara, but she couldn't quite place it."In fourteen years, he kills Osoclea and her husband, and becomes the Pharaoh.History forgets about Osoclea and gives Narmer credit for uniting Egypt."

"What?But he seemed so innocent!"Clara argued.

"Yes.And then he grows up."

"Isn't there anything we can do about it?"Rose asked him."It's not a fixed point or anything..."

"Yes it is."He told her quietly."Narmer has to kill them, and he has to become the ruler of Egypt.It's not fair, but we can't stop it."

Clara sighed."I hate fixed points."

"I'll tell Jack you said that."

"Who?"

"Oh, never mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, another chapter up and posted! Exciting things are coming soon. Very soon.


	19. A Bit Crabby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Martha

In Martha's opinion, the TARDIS had done a very good job of rearranging things.The new console room- brightly lit and white, with hexagons on the walls- led directly into the living room.It was large, round, and tastefully decorated, with a huge TV and plenty of couches for everyone. At the back of the room were two curved stairways, leading to an upper balcony.Between the staircases was a door leading to the Doctors' hallway, where their bedrooms were located.Located in a circle around the balcony were the companions' rooms, all with their names on the door.The other rooms, like the kitchen and library, could be found on either floor.Martha wasn't quite sure how that one worked, but it did.

Her own room was situated on the far end of the balcony from the stairways.She didn't mind, though.It wasn't a far walk, and she liked having the view of the living room below.On one side of her was Amy and Rory's room, and on the other side was Heather's.

Once that was figured out, they all sat down in the living room.Martha claimed a large brown armchair for herself, not wanting to have to share with the others.Amy, Rory, and Mickey took one of the couches, and Donna and Nine shared the other.Ten had an armchair that matched Martha's, but on the other side of the couches.

"Where are Heather and Bill?"Rory questioned.

"I think they're still in her room."Martha told them."I wouldn't go bother them, if I were you.Heather was crying."

She wasn't sure if it was right to share that information, but it didn't feel like she had an option.If she didn't tell them, somebody would surely go to hang out with the girls, or ask them to come out and join everyone else.Really, she thought, she was doing them a favor, making sure they were left alone.

"Why's she crying?"Ten asked, sounding surprised."Is it about the kid that got hurt?"

"Who?"

"The one on the ship.With the broken neck."

"Oh.No, I don't think so. She's just found out that she's trapped in another universe, she's bound to be upset."

"Yeah."

They fell into a comfortable silence after that.After a few minutes, Amy grabbed the remote, and put on some sort of nature documentary about crabs.It wasn't the kind of thing Martha was particularly interested in, but she had to admit that most of the group would probably object to soap operas.At least a documentary got the Doctors interested.

"What's your favourite colour?"Martha asked after a while.

"Who are you talking to?"Mickey asked her.

"Any of you."

"Mine is yellow."Nine offered."Like a banana.Because bananas are good."

"I like red."Amy told her after a moment."Only it doesn't go with my hair.But, red."

"Blue."Mickey shared. Nobody else looked keen to volunteer that information, although Martha wasn't sure why.It wasn't exactly a secret, it was just a colour.

"Mine is green."Martha told them."Bright, lime green.I don't wear it or anything, it's just fun."

More silence.Martha looked around, hoping someone else would say something so she didn't have to.

"If I was a crab," Ten broke the silence, "I would be a spider crab."

That immediately sparked a debate in which everyone tried to decide, from what they had seen of the documentary, which kind of crab they would be."Why?"Martha asked Ten."Because they've got long legs?"

Ten pouted."No!Because they're mysterious and vaguely threatening."

"What kind of crab would you be, Martha?"Donna, who had already declared herself to be a coral crab.

"I wouldn't.I'd be a fish."Martha argued.

"You can't be a fish.You have to be a crab."Donna told her.Amy and Mickey quickly agreed."We all picked crabs, it's only fair."

"I'd be... I dunno, a horseshoe crab?"Martha guessed.She really didn't think she'd be a crab at all.

Donna nodded in agreement, but Amy shook her head."Those aren't real crabs.It said in the documentary."

"Then I don't know.Why can't I be a dolphin?"

"Are dolphins even fish?"

"I could be a dolphinfish."

"No!"Ten argued."You have to be a crab!"

"What if I don't want to be a crab?"

"You're a blue crab.There, I decided it, you get to be the most boring one.You're a blue crab."Mickey told her.She didn't really think he could talk, as he'd given himself the coconut crab, but it didn't matter.

"Ooh, did I ever tell you this story?So, there was a guy who came into the hospital..." Martha regaled them all with her tale: a man had tried to have sex in the ocean, been too close to a crab trap, and ended up with a crab latched onto his penis.He'd had to have it cut off.

"That's disgusting."

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never have sex in the ocean."

 

 

They had fish and chips for lunch, which the TARDIS had thankfully provided for them.They didn't want to dematerialize from wherever Eleven, Clara, and Rose had gone without knowing if they could find their way back.

Eleven, Rose, and Clara came back in the early afternoon.They were all covered in sand, and Rose and Clara had what seemed to be burn marks on their arms and legs.Clara wasn't even walking, Eleven was having to carry her, because she wasn't wearing shoes and the bottom of her feet were red.

"Oh my god, what happened?"Martha asked, springing to her feet.

"They got set on fire."Eleven explained."Don't worry, it's all fine now.I'm just taking her to the med bay."

"I'll come with you.And Rose should get checked out, too."

"I'm fine," Rose tried to argue, but Martha glared at her and Rose shut up.

"You've got third degree burns all over your feet."Martha told Clara as they walked."The skin is peeling up and there's sand all under it."

"Eww."Clara groaned.

"Don't worry, I can get it out."Martha promised."If we were on earth, it might need surgery-"

" _Surgery_?"

"-but we've got advanced medicine here.If we can get the sand out, it'll only take a few hours to heal the burns."

"We can magnetize the sand and then put her feet by a magnet."Eleven suggested.

"If you think that'll work."

"That's a terrible idea."Rose told them both.

"No it's not!It'll get all the sand out!"Eleven argued.

"Just stop bickering and help me- dear _god_ what happened to you both-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've had an especially productive day, here's an extra chapter! It's mostly filler but I still enjoy it.


	20. Interstellar Piracy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Nine

Nine was up bright and early the next morning.Well, actually, he was up the whole night.He only had to sleep once a week or so, and since he'd slept at Jackie's, he would be good for several more days.

He wasn't sure where the other Doctors were.All three of them had slept at the flat- most likely, the trauma of jumping strings had triggered their sleep cycle early.But neither Ten nor Eleven were anywhere to be found, so he supposed that they must be busy.He spent the night sitting in the living room, re-reading his favourite Dickens novel.

He made up his mind to go out that day.He hadn't done much of anything the previous day, other than fix some wiring that had taken him less than ten minutes.He hadn't even been the only Doctor on that trip.No, what he needed was a good old-fashioned adventure, with a companion and a world to save.

He would have preferred to take Rose, but after yesterday she probably wanted a break.So, instead, he decided to take whoever woke up first.He didn't particularly care who it was.Hell, he'd take _Mickey_ at this point if it meant he could go out and have some fun.

The first one downstairs was Donna.She came down the stairs, muttered a greeting, and headed straight towards the kitchen for some tea.When she came back into the room a few minutes later, holding a steaming mug of tea, she sat down in one of the armchairs.

"Want to go out today?"Nine decided to get straight to the point.He wasn't a fan of small talk, he just wanted an answer.

She paused. "Yeah, sure."Under her breath, she muttered, "It's too early for this."

"We can go as soon as you've finished your tea."

She fixed him with a look."Its half past seven in the morning.I'm not even dressed yet."

"Then get changed."He shrugged.

"We're not leaving until eight."She told him flatly."I'll go with you, but I'm not getting out of this chair until eight."

"Fine."

At 7:55, Nine asked her again."Are you ready to go?"

She sighed."I'll go get changed."

"Ooh, are you going out?"Nine looked up to find the source of the voice: a cheerful redhead leaning over the balcony."Where?"

"Out."

She shrugged, seemingly unconcerned."Can Rory and I come?"

Nine considered it.Three companions seemed like a lot, but he'd once stopped the Slitheen with Rose _and_ Mickey _and_ Jack, so he supposed it was doable."Sure.We're leaving in five minutes."

Ten minutes later, the four of them were standing around the console room.Amy looked perfectly awake and chipper; Donna looked tired; Rory looked downright exhausted."Where to?"Nine asked them brightly.

"I dunno."

"Go on, pick a year.Any year."

"Uh... 2140."Amy picked randomly.Nine couldn't think of anything particularly interesting that had happened in that year, but it _was_ the height of space piracy in Orion's Belt- may as well take them to a pirate ship.

"Go on, then."Donna told him, looking more excited as soon as they'd landed."Where are we?"

"2140, a ship in Orion's Belt.But it's not just any old ship."He paused for dramatic effect."It's a _pirate_ ship."

Donna beamed, Rory groaned, and Amy clapped her hands together in excitement."What are we waiting for?"She asked, darting over to the doors."Let's go!"

Nine followed Amy out the doors, the other two trailing behind him.They seemed to be in a supply closet of some kind, with minimal lighting and stacks upon stacks of paper bags.

Amy knelt down by one of the bags and squinted to read the label."Better With Butter: Just Add Water."She read out loud.

"Sounds like a cake mix or something."Rory commented."Do they still have cake mix in space?"

"Pancake mix."Nine corrected him."It's pancake mix, not cake mix."

"And over here is lettuce."Donna told him, from one of the other shelves."Dehydrated lettuce.Who in the world dehydrates _lettuce_?"

"You'd be surprised what people dehydrate."He told her."They've already got dehydrated milk in your time.By 2023, they've dehydrated water."

"But that's just air!"She argued."You can't dehydrate water, there'd be nothing left!"

"Doesn't stop them from making a fortune.Capitalism, it never makes sense."Then Nine clapped his hands together."Right.Want to see the rest of the ship?"

He didn't wait for an answer, pushing open the door and striding out.Immediately, he was met with a gun to the head.Evidently, the storage room hadn't been in the back of a hallway as he'd assumed.There were three pirates in front of them, only one of them human.And all of them were armed, with a mixture of guns and swords.

"How did you get onto this ship?"The green one gurgled.Well, maybe gurgled wasn't the right word.It was the closest word he could think of, though.He looked vaguely reptilian, but his skin was smooth and shiny and his mouth was just pincers.He wasn't from a species the Doctor recognized.

"We come in peace."Nine declared."My name is the Doctor, these are my companions."

"Lay down your weapons and we will talk." He gurgled again.Nine hesitated, and the pirates all lowered their weapons slightly.

"I haven't got any weapons."He said truthfully.

"Then what is that you are holding?"

Nine looked down.It was his sonic screwdriver.He carefully set it on the ground, straightening up to meet the green one's eyes.

"Now that we can all relax," he began, but was cut off by a hissing noise from one of the pirates.His eyes fixed on her, a blue humanoid who had put down her weapon with the rest.However, it quickly became clear that her light-up sword hadn't been her only weapon.Twin turrets were rising out of her shoulders, taking aim at Nine and his group.

One of the other pirates bent down and took Nine's screwdriver, placing it in his pocket.Nine wanted to stop him, but the sight of the blue one's weaponry made him stand still.He had absolutely no doubt that she would fire.And, as he stood there, the others gathered their weapons up again.

The green one whispered something to one of the others."Which of you is oldest?"The other one, an apparent human, asked them.Nine hesitated.

"Why does it matter?"He questioned.

"Which is oldest?"He asked again.

"None of us!It doesn't matter, we're all friends."He tried to salvage the situation.

"Is it you?"The green one asked Nine.

"Leave him alone!"Amy hissed.Rory put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down, and Nine turned his attention back to the green one.

"Calm down Amy, we'll get out of this."Rory whispered to her.

"Why do you want to know?"Nine asked again.This wasn't anything he remembered from his previous visits to the 22nd century.

"She is oldest."The human one decided, grabbing Donna's arm and pulling her away from the group.She resisted the motion, but he was stronger and within moments there was a gun to her head.

"No, it's me, I'm the oldest."Nine told them, eyes wide."Take me instead, I'm oldest."

"You lie to save your friend."

"What do you need her for, why did you want the oldest?"Rory demanded.He, too, seemed angry now that they had taken Donna.

The green one looked at him coldly."We require sustenance."

Nine gaped.They were going to _eat_ Donna?"She's not food, she's a human being!"

"I know. _Delicious_."

"What should we do with the other ones, Barrug?"The blue woman asked.The green one shrugged.

"What the hell, let's give them to the Viper."The human decided.The blue woman laughed coldly at that.

"Wait, what?"Amy asked, sounding newly afraid."What's the viper?"

"Your worst nightmare."The human one promised.

"Doctor?"Amy asked him quietly."Is there a pit full of snakes that are gonna eat us?"

"No."He assured her.She breathed a sigh of relief before he continued."Sounds more like one big snake.That's gonna eat us."

" _That doesn't make it any better_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm honestly not a big fan of this storyline but it's really important plot wise... Also, I just love the idea of Amy and Nine as friends, it just seems like it would be fun.


	21. The Viper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Rory

Rory Williams wasn't stupid, despite what people might think.He was a nurse because he wanted to be, not because he wasn't clever enough to be a doctor.And yeah, he might not be the smartest of his friends (that was clearly Eleven), or the strongest (Amy), or the quickest (also Amy), but he was still smart.And more than that, he was _observant_.

That was why Rory was the first to notice that the room they'd been thrown in- the home of the elusive 'viper', apparently- did not house a large snake.There was no place for one, first of all- it was just an ordinary room, albeit a very cluttered one, with a bed built into the wall and a series of hand-drawn maps stuck to the wall.

"Hello?"He called nervously.Because if the Viper wasn't a snake, it was probably a person.And if it was a person, it was possible to get him on their side.

"Hello."There was a sharp, curved sword pressed against his neck.He hadn't seen it coming, despite the fact that there were lit-up sections of it, and he hadn't heard anyone approaching.

"Let him go." Amy said, her voice wobbling only slightly.

"And why would I do that?"

"Kindness?Generosity?"Nine suggested, from somewhere behind Rory.

She laughed.It was a she, Rory realized, although he was more focused on not getting his head sliced off."You must have done something really bad, for Dogbreath to send you to _me_."

"Dogbreath?"Nine asked, before shaking his head.He had moved into Rory's field of vision while the Viper had been talking."We didn't do anything.I'm the Doctor, these are my friends Amy and Rory."

If Rory hadn't been standing so close to her, he wouldn't have been able to hear the way her breath caught at Nine's name.But he was, and so he did.

"Why were you sent to me, then?If you're so innocent."From her voice, it was clear that she did not believe they were innocent.

"Let Rory go, and we can talk."

"Or I can keep him as a hostage, and we can talk anyway."

"Let him go."Amy told her, sounding angrier than he'd ever heard her."He's my husband."

There was a pause, and then the sword was gone from his neck.Rory stumbled towards Amy, gasping for air.He'd been afraid to breathe too deeply, with how close the sword had been to his jugular.He turned to look at the Viper- she looked to be in her mid-twenties, with short-cropped blonde hair and a scar on one cheek.

"Thank you."Nine acknowledged her action with a simple nod."We're just explorers- adventurers, really- and we happened to stumble across your ship."

"And then some green guy threatened to eat Donna."Amy added.

The Viper's eyes darted toward her for just an instant.Rory almost didn't notice.It seemed as though the Viper recognized the name- perhaps she'd had a run-in with the Doctor before, and come out the worse in it.

"Barrug?"She asked."He's got plenty of pancake mix, I don't know why he..."She trailed off, shaking her head."How did you get on board?Did you break into the cargo bay?"

"Yes."Nine latched onto that idea."But some of your crewmates found us, and they kidnapped our friend."

"We don't have a cargo bay."The Viper told him, completely stone-faced.

"You don't?Well, isn't that surprising, I could have sworn I saw a cargo bay on our way in."Nine bluffed.

"Of course we have a cargo bay.What ship doesn't have a cargo bay?"The Viper asked rhetorically.Rory couldn't help but notice that she was still holding her weapon, and was running one finger along the sharpened edge in a menacing way."Which means you're lying."

"Why did they take our friend?"Amy asked her."They wanted to know who was oldest."

"It's tradition.Kill the oldest first, the ones with the least life left to live.It's basic conservation."

"That's sick."

"Would you rather we kill the children?"

Rory swallowed and nodded.That was a fair point."But why kill any of us?He said he was going to eat her, but you have plenty of food..."

"Barrug has very specific tastes.If we run out of pancake mix, he turns to human flesh."The Viper shrugged."They won't have killed her yet.It takes twenty-three minutes to get the ovens up to temperature."

"That doesn't leave us much time."Rory fretted.

"Why are you telling us this?"Amy demanded."If you're just going to kill us?"

"Because I'm not without mercy."She told them quietly, a small smile playing on her lips."What can I say?It runs in the family."

"Mercy?"Nine asked."So you do intend to help us."

"Obviously.Barrug is an idiot, he knows there's pancake mix in the closet.We just stole some last week.And unlike _some_ people I know, I don't kill without reason."

"Noted.Lead the way, Viper."

There was a moment of silence, and then she sighed."My name's not really the Viper, you know."

"Then what is it?"

She hesitated."I don't really have one.I don't have any family, so..."

"Did they die?"Amy asked her, sounding oddly compassionate.

"My dad abandoned me.Never really had a mum."She hesitated again, as if weighing her words very carefully."I used to go by Jenny."

"Nice to meet you."Nine greeted her, with a small smile."Now, if you don't mind, could we go rescue our friend now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, so this is a very exciting chapter. I know it's short, and I can't believe I completely forgot to post it yesterday, but... I'm pretty sure you can all figure out why this one is so important, but just in case you an't, I'm not gonna spoil it for you. What do you think of the Viper?


	22. Pancake Mix & Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Amy

"Why are you helping us?"Amy asked her quietly, as the Viper led them through the halls of the ship.

"Why does it matter?Just be glad I'm helping at all."

"A ship this size would have a pretty sizable crew."Nine commented.He seemed to be working something out in his head."But you had your own room.So what are you, the captain?The first mate?"

"Second mate."She corrected.

"Then you must have been here a long time."Nine continued."Five years, ten?What species are you, because you're certainly not human."

She paused and glanced back at him with a smile."Two years, actually."

"You expect me to believe that you've only been here two years and you're already second mate?"

"I'll give you a hint.We mutinied."She told him with a sly smile.Amy couldn't help but smile at that.A mutiny?Maybe this was a proper pirate ship after all.

They entered a room, the Viper leading the group,Amy could see at least a dozen pirates standing in a circle in the center of the room.In the middle of them was Donna, tied up and gagged.She still seemed to be shouting something through the gag, although it was completely unintelligible.

"Barrug."The Viper said coldly as she entered the room." _What_ do you think you're doing?"

He gurgled something that sounded like 'hungry.'The Viper scoffed.

"We've got three tons of pancake mix on this ship.Are you telling me you ate all that and you're still hungry?"

He gurgled something unintelligible.

"A hair?You're upset because there's a _hair_ in the pancake mix?"

He nodded.

"It's a _hair_.Just pull it out."

" _Oily_ hair.Tastes bad."

"You love eating hair!You said it's a delicacy."

"Only with humans.Not in pancake mix."

"Look at her.That woman you're about to eat is covered in hair.And you're telling me you'd rather eat _her_ than just one hair in your pancakes?"

"He's right, though."One of the other pirates agreed."It _is_ gross.I think it's Dogbreath's."

The Viper closed her eyes and took a deep breath."Enough.I outrank all of you.And if I tell you to eat pancake mix, you _will_ go eat the pancake mix.Am I understood?"

The pirates nodded reluctantly, and filed out of the room.The Viper turned back to the Nine, Amy, and Rory.

"Thank you."Amy told her, giving her a small smile.

The Viper did not answer her.She was too busy staring at Donna, whom Rory was untying.Donna glanced up at her.

"Sorry, do I know you?"

The Viper shook her head."No, it's probably nothing.I trust that you can find your way off my ship without causing any more trouble?"

"Of course."Nine agreed easily.He led the group into the supply closet, the Viper's eyes following them to the door.As soon as the door was shut behind them, he turned to the others.

"What?"Rory asked him, already sounding resigned.

"That was hardly a proper adventure!"He complained."We should go somewhere else to make up for it."

Amy opened her mouth to tell him no, but Donna beat her to it."I just got kidnapped by cannibal pirates, and you're telling me that wasn't enough danger for one day?"She demanded.

"Well-"

"Cannibal.Pirates."

"Actually, it's not cannibalism if they're not human."Rory corrected her, before shrinking away from the ginger's glare.

"Pirates."Donna repeated."Who were cannibals.I'm not leaving the TARDIS again today unless it's to go to spa."

"Ooh, a spa sounds nice."Amy agreed quickly.

Nine sighed."Fine. I'll take you to a bloody spa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm so sorry it's short and also garbage. I promise the next storyline is way better, although it's not for a few chapters. And I'm really excited about the next chapter too, it's mostly filler but ti was hella fun to write.


	23. Something Fishy This Way Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Mickey

"That was the _worst_ spa I've ever been to in my life."Amy's voice was the first thing Mickey heard when the doors opened.

"I dunno."Donna's voice was next."I've been to some pretty awful spas."

"Fish eyes, Donna.Fish.Eyes."

"What's this about a spa?"Clara asked brightly, from her spot on the couch.

"You didn't miss anything."Amy assured her."It was terrible.There was a bath full of dead fish."

"But not the whole fish."Donna added."Just the eyes.The whole bath was just eyes.And the wine falls weren't much better."

"Eww."Even Mickey, who had never been to a spa in his life, knew that there shouldn't be fish eyes in a bath."Did you get in it?"

"Didn't have much choice, did I?"Amy sounded very bitter about this fact."Rory had the right idea, staying in today."

"Didn't he go out with you this morning?"Mickey questioned.He had gone looking for him earlier, hoping to make friends with the only other man on board, and Clara had told him that Rory was out.

"Yeah, but he came back after the pirates."Amy explained."Said he didn't want to visit a spa.I wish I'd stayed with him, could've saved myself from the fish eyes."

"Why were there fish eyes in a bath?"Clara wondered, sounding almost as disgusted as Mickey felt.

"Something about exfoliating your pores."Nine explained."Typical corporate rubbish.I told you spas were a waste of time."

" _Good_ spas aren't.Earth spas.Just because you took us to an alien spa full of dead fish."Donna shook her head.

"I had slices of fish liver on my _face_."Amy continued listing the horrors of the spa.

"I didn't mind that part."Nine admitted."It really does wonders for your vision.Not that I needed any help with my vision, but a bit of liver never hurts."

"I thought you hated spas."

"I do.Fish liver was the only part with _any_ scientific data to back it up."He shook his head."Complete waste of time otherwise."

"What's this about spas?"Bill asked as she came down the stairs.

"They're rubbish."Nine shared.

"Yeah, they are, a bit."Bill agreed.

"Hold on, what was wrong with the wine falls?"Clara asked suddenly."That actually sounds nice.There weren't fish in the wine, were there?"

"I hope not."Donna shuddered."It was scalding hot.And then some bloke was sick in it."

"Probably from the fish eyes."Amy told her wisely.

"Where are the others?"Nine asked, changing the subject.

"Ten and Eleven are building something.A radio, I think."Mickey told him, glad to finally have something to say."Rose and Martha are off somewhere, I think they said something about going for a swim.And I don't know about Heather."

"She's sleeping."Bill shared."She hasn't had to sleep since becoming the Pilot, and now it's like she's an ordinary human again."

"What time is it, anyway?"Donna asked.

Mickey pointed to the clock.It was in between the staircases, built into the Doctors' door.It looked like an oddly flat grandfather clock, except that the numbers were displayed beneath it and made to look like they were carved into the wood.It currently read 12:58.

"We should get lunch."Donna decided."I'm bloody starving."

"Sushi?"Mickey suggested cheekily."Fish and chips?"

Donna and Amy both groaned."Shut up about the bloody fish."

Mickey shrugged innocently."I'm just making suggestions, I am.Not my fault if you don't like them."

"I've gone off lunch."Amy decided, sitting down on the couch.Donna instantly agreed."Let's just watch a movie or something."

"Titanic?"Bill suggested."The Shape of Water?Jaws?"

Amy threw a pillow at her face.

"Ooh, I know!"Mickey laughed."We can marathon River Monsters."

Amy made a very rude sign with her fingers and turned her attention to the TV."Maybe a cartoon or something.Something nice and innocent that you can't use to torment us."

"...Finding Nemo?"

 

 

 

Five minutes later, Mickey and Bill were wandering through the halls, looking for something to do.After Bill's final movie suggestion, the two of them had been exiled from the living room and left to fend for themselves.

"We can join Rose and Martha and go for a swim?"Mickey suggested.

Bill shook her head."They're bonding.We shouldn't interrupt."

"Then we can get one of the Doctors and convince him to take us out?"

"Normally I would, but... I really shouldn't leave Heather all alone right now, and I don't think she'll want to come out today."

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah."Bill sighed."She's just not taking this 'different universes' thing as well as I am.I mean, before yesterday she was a goddess, and now she's just a person."

"A person with _superpowers_."Mickey argued.

Bill laughed."Yeah.A person with superpowers."She paused."You know, why don't we go see if she's awake?We can watch TV or something without all the others."

Mickey agreed, and they headed upstairs to visit Heather.Her room was in between Martha's and Bill's.Bill knocked on the door.

"Heather?"She called softly, through the wood."Can we come in?"

The door swung open with a click.Heather was sitting on her bed, wrapped in blankets, looking perfectly emotionless.She looked up when Mickey and Bill came in.

"Hey."Bill sat down on the edge of the bed, smiling at Heather gently."How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."Heather did not sound fine.She looked perfectly calm and composed, but her voice was just a bit too monotone for her to be genuinely alright.

"Do you want to watch TV or something?"Bill asked her."Mickey and I have been kicked out of the living room for inciting violence."

Heather shrugged."Sure."She scooted over on the bed, making room for Bill, who slipped under the covers and moved into the middle.Mickey hesitated, not seeing a chair or anything for him.

"Oh, just get on the bed."Bill told him, rolling her eyes."It's not like we're gonna bite you."

"But isn't that a bit weird?"

"Are you gonna start coming onto us?"Bill asked him, raising an eyebrow.He shook his head vehemently."Then it's not weird.Just get on the bed."

Mickey did as she said, but he made sure to keep as much room between him and Bill as possible.Despite her saying it was ok, he didn't want there to be any awkward misunderstandings.He stayed on top of the covers, just to be safe.

"What do you want to watch?"He asked them.

Bill looked at him, hesitating."I kind of do want to watch River Monsters."She admitted after a moment.

He laughed."Alright.River Monsters it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly filler, but it's fun filler (I hope)!
> 
> An extra update this week because the last few have been so short. Also, happy pride month!


	24. Say My Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Thursday already? I missed updating *again*! So here's your weekly update.
> 
> Also, y'all, please talk to me. I've just finished up the 'adventure' I was working on (hint, hint- it's Whouffle) and I have no idea what to do next. Tell me what characters you want me to write about, or what kind of adventure you'd be interested in seeing! Past, present, future... aliens, robots, humans... give me something to work with here!

They eventually decided on watching some spy show Rose had never heard of.She assumed it was from the future, because the video quality was miles beyond anything she had seen in her own time period.The other two Doctors came out to join them not long after the show started, and Rose leaned onto Ten's shoulder.

"We should make popcorn."She murmured.

"Good idea."He told her quietly.Then, much louder, he said, "Anybody want to make popcorn?"

"I'll do it."Clara volunteered.

"No!"Eleven stopped her with a yell.Turning to Ten and Rose, he said very seriously, "You do not want her anywhere near your food.Trust me, it will not turn out well for your health."

Clara pouted, but did not dispute his claim.

"I'll make it myself."Rose stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Oh, while you're up, could you turn the oven on?"Clara asked her."I'm gonna make a soufflé in a bit."

Rose turned to her very seriously."Clara,"she began, "I hope truly that one day, you find someone you love as much as you love soufflés."

Clara didn't say anything, but her eyes darted to the other couch and she blushed.Rose's eyes followed her gaze to where Eleven was sitting, engrossed in conversation with Martha." _Oh_."

"What?No!I wasn't- I didn't- _Rose_!"Clara spluttered.

"Don't worry."Rose winked at her exaggeratedly."I can keep your secret."

"I don't have a secret!"Clara denied.

"Oh, it's not a secret?So you don't mind me telling everyone?"Rose smiled."Good to know."She left the room, then, struggling to keep a straight face.She wasn't _actually_ going to tell Eleven that Clara had a crush on him.They weren't in preschool.But it was fun to tease her.

When she got back to the room, precariously balancing three bowls of popcorn in her arms, the conversation had changed.Eleven had left, to do god knows what.Amy, Donna, and Nine were telling the others all about their adventures that morning- their pirate adventures, not the fish-eye spa.

"And then they were like, 'We'll feed you to the viper.'"Amy told them dramatically."So they take us to this room- and bear in mind that this whole time, they've got Donna and are getting ready to cook her- so they take us to this room and it's empty, right."

"It wasn't empty."Nine corrected her story, already sounding tired of it.

"Right, so this empty room.And then this pirate lady comes out of nowhere with a fancy sword and holds it to Rory's neck, like this."Amy made a strange mime with her neck and hands.Whatever her point was, it didn't make it."And she was totally gonna kill us, but we convinced her not to.And then-"

"And then she yelled at a guy for not eating pancakes, and let us leave."Nine finished the story, stopping her from embellishing any more details.Rose offered him a bowl of popcorn, sitting back down next to Ten.

"No, but that wasn't it."Amy insisted."She was acting really weird, too."

"Weird how?"Martha questioned her.

" _Weird_.She kept talking about her past, and how the Viper wasn't really her name, and she acted weird around Nine."

"What about her past?"Donna asked.At Rose's questioning look, she explained, "I wasn't there, I'd been kidnapped by the cannibal pirates."

"Stuff about how she didn't have a family, because her dad abandoned her."Amy told her.Rose sighed.It was sad, how many people had lives like that.

"That _is_ weird.Maybe she had a crush on your husband?"Donna suggested, getting up. "I'm gonna go get a shower."

"What did she look like?"Rose asked eagerly, taking a handful of popcorn."Did she have an eyepatch?A peg leg?A talking parrot?"

"She was blonde."Nine told her.

"She had a scar?"Amy offered."And, uh, blue eyes, I think."

Rose huffed."That's disappointing.You met pirates and they didn't even have peg legs."

"What was her name?"Ten asked, sounding a bit strangled.Rose looked at him, absently realizing that he had been growing paler and paler throughout the entire exchange.

There was a pause, in which Nine and Amy looked at one another."I don't remember."Amy admitted after a moment.

"Neither do I."

"You ok?"Rose asked Ten."You look a bit..."

"She was blonde."He repeated."You said she was blonde."

"Yeah."Amy and Nine exchanged another look, this one full of concern.Rose gazed up into Ten's face, trying to untangle the mess of emotions behind his eyes.

" _Jenny_."He breathed.

Rose couldn't help the flare of jealousy that rose up in her.For Ten to recognize someone based on such a vague description, and the pure _longing_ in his voice... but she pushed it aside, recognizing that he needed her support right now.

"That's it!"Nine snapped his fingers."Jenny!That was her name!"

"Jenny."Ten repeated."Jenny!"

"Wait, Jenny?"Martha asked."You can't mean... _Jenny_?"

" _Jenny_."

Clara must have left to get Donna, because moments later, both of them entered the room."What do you mean, they broke him?"Donna was asking Clara.

Ten's eyes locked on hers."Jenny."

"What?"

" _Jenny_."

"Oh my god! _Jenny_?"

Whoever this 'Jenny' was, all three of them seemed to know her.Nobody else had any clue what they were going on about.

"Er, I don't mean to interrupt," Rose began, "But who's Jenny?"

"The pirate they met, she's- well, she's- I know her."Ten stammered."I can't believe- it's Jenny."

"Yeah, but how do you know her?"Amy questioned."Because she didn't say she knew you."

"Well, she wouldn't have, would she?"Nine asked rhetorically."If she knew Ten, I mean.She wouldn't know I was the same Doctor, she probably thought it was a coincidence."

"But she saw Donna."Amy argued."Wouldn't she have recognized Donna?"

"I only knew her for a day."Donna shook her head."I thought she looked familiar, but I didn't..."

"But, Doctor."Martha sounded worried."Wasn't she... I mean, I'm not trying to be rude, but... didn't she die?"

Ten nodded dumbly."There must have been enough Timelord in her after all."He realized."Combined with the Source, it must have... a delayed regeneration... incomplete, if she still looks the same."

"Hold on, Timelord?"Nine asked, sounding very tense all of a sudden.

"It's ok."Ten assured him."She's not like the others.She's... well, she's my daughter."

Rose's entire world stopped.His daughter?Ten, the _Doctor_ , had a child?And not just any child- an adult pirate daughter who was supposedly dead?When had this happened, and why hadn't Ten told her about it in the few days they'd been back together?

Nine blinked."I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right.Could you repeat that?"

"My daughter."

"Your what?"

"His daughter."

"But I- but you- _how_?"Nine sounded absolutely dumbstruck.His eyes turned to Rose, and she shook her head quickly.

"I would also like to know the answer to that."She told Ten.

"Oh, no, nothing like that!"He assured them both."She was a clone, taken from a tissue sample.Donna and Martha were there."

"But she's _dead_."Martha repeated.

"Clearly, she's not."Rose couldn't resist sniping.And honestly, she knew it was wrong to be jealous, but she couldn't help it.This was a whole part of Ten's life that she'd never even heard of.

"So what do we do?"Donna asked, her voice uncharacteristically soft.

All eyes turned to Ten.


	25. The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Ten

Ten's head was spinning.Not only was his daughter alive, but she had been so close and he hadn't had a clue.He could only focus on one thought: he was _not_ going to lose her again.

"Doctor?"Rose prompted him.He realized, dimly, that everyone was looking at him."What are we gonna do?"

"Well, obviously, we have to find her."He managed to say."Even if she doesn't want to come with us... I have to at least give her the option."

"She agreed to come the last time you offered.If it hasn't been too long on her end, I'm sure she'll be happy to travel with us."Martha assured him.

"How long _has_ it been for her?"Ten latched onto that question.Maybe it had only been a few days, and she hadn't missed him at all.That would be the ideal situation, as unlikely as it was.

"She said two years."Rory told him.

"Two years since she'd been on the ship."Nine corrected him."Could have been centuries before that."

"Somebody, tell me what year you saw her."

"Er, I think it was 2140."Amy told him.Beside her, Rory and Nine nodded in agreement.

"But we met her way later than that."Martha disagreed."The first time, I mean.Wasn't it the 62nd century or something?"

"Yeah, it was."Donna agreed."How'd she end up in the 2100s, then?Has she got a time machine of her own?"

"No, no, the New Byzantine calendar."Ten told her, pullinga notepad and pencil out of one of his pockets."Completely different system.I'll have to make some calculations, but it should line up to approximately that time period..."

He wrote quickly, scribbling down numbers and equations like his life depended on it.When he had finished, he wrote one number at the bottom of the page and circled it twice."2113.We met her in 2113."

"That's 27 years."Donna did the calculation in her head."27 years since Messaline."

"Blimey."Martha commented."She's older than I am."

"So she's twenty-seven."Ten repeated. "Alright.So we just land on her ship, find Jenny, and leave.Simple."

"It's not that easy."Nine warned him."2140 is the peak of space piracy for a reason."

"Sonic can get us past the locks and disable the alarms."Ten dismissed him."We aren't trying to take down the whole ship, just get one person off of it."

"And the Honesty Chips?"

Nine's question shut him down completely.Ten was completely flummoxed.An Honesty Chip?In his daughter?It was absurd, and yet, he couldn't dismiss the possibility.

"A what now?"Rose asked.

"An Honesty Chip."Nine repeated."22nd century technology, prevents you from telling a direct lie."

"And you're sure Jenny has one of those?"Amy questioned."I didn't see anything."

"You humans, you never notice anything.Didn't you see the scar, on the side of her neck?It's faint but still clearly visible.Telltale sign of an Honesty Chip."Nine told her.

"So she has to tell the truth."Rose shrugged."So what?We can take it out when we get to the TARDIS.Why is it such a problem?"

"That's its primary purpose."Ten elaborated on Nine's explanation."But it can be adapted to do other things.Namely, to deliver an electric shock in response to disobeying orders."

The whole thing left a bad taste in his mouth.It was sick that the things existed at all.But to think that Jenny, his _daughter_ , had been subjected to something like that...

"Slave pirates."Eleven continued quietly."That's what they call them."

"But that's horrible."Donna looked like she was in shock."Why would anyone do something like that?"

"Easy money."Nine replied."You don't have to pay a crew if they can't betray you."

Martha echoed his thoughts."That's _sick_."

"That's humanity for you."Ten commented bitterly."Anything for a profit."

"So what do we do?"Rose asked him."We can't just leave her."

"Of course not."He agreed instantly.The very thought of it made his stomach turn."We'll get her back.We just need a plan."

"This might be a bit of a stretch," Eleven began, "But orders are transmitted between chips.If we can isolate the frequency..."

"We can shut off the chips."Ten finished his sentence."That's brilliant!"

"But to isolate the frequency, we'd need to have one of the chips.And not just any chip, it would have to be one attached to that wavelength."Nine cautioned.

"One from the same ship that she's on!"Eleven grinned."So all we have to do is-"

"-find Jenny, extract her chip, and then-"

"-we can free the whole ship!"

"Just like the _Blossom_."Clara remembered.

"Just like the _Blossom_."Eleven echoed.

"So what are we waiting for?"Ten asked."Let's go!"

 

 

Less than an hour later, Ten, Eleven, and Clara were standing in the corridors of Jenny's ship.Ten couldn't help but notice how dingy the walls were, like no one had cleaned them in months.There were scuff marks where bullets and swords had grazed the wall, no doubt in a cliche space pirate battle.Loose pieces of piping lay scattered on the floor, a clear sign of an engineering project that had been abandoned.

"There she is!"Eleven hissed, pointing down the hallway.Sure enough, his daughter was walking down an adjacent hallway, engrossed in conversation with a blue humanoid.Neither of them looked up and saw the group.

"So we follow them until they split up, then we talk to Jenny."Ten proposed a plan.Eleven made to agree, but Clara stopped them both.

"What if she shoots us?"She whispered.

"Why would she shoot us?"Ten asked her.

"I dunno, you said she has to obey orders.Maybe she's been ordered to shoot us."

"She's not going to shoot us!"

"How can we know that?"

"Shush!"Eleven broke up the argument, a panicked look on his face.

"Don't you tell _me_ to shush."Clara muttered under her breath.

"She's coming back!"Eleven warned them.Ten straightened up.That certainly explained why Eleven was so panicked.To be honest, Ten was a bit worried too.What if it had been too long, and Jenny didn't even recognize him?

"So I told him, 'if I wanted a monkey on board, I would've just stolen a monkey!'"Her voice carried around the corner, along with a bell-like laugh that was not hers.

The footsteps paused, and then Jenny came back down the hallway alone.The blue girl she'd been talking to was nowhere to be seen.Ten crept towards the corner, watching her go and trying to muster up the courage to talk to her.

"Should I knock her out?"Clara asked him in a hushed voice.

"What?No!Don't knock her out!"

But it was too late.Clara Oswald was already sneaking down the hallway, clutching a section of piping.She reached Jenny quickly and swung the pipe down onto her head.Jenny crumpled to the floor, and Clara dropped the pipe.As it clattered to the ground, she turned around, a victorious smile on her face.

"Well?"She asked."Are you gonna help me carry her, or not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhh no editing I'm gonna die
> 
> But seriously, y'all, I need help. I can't think of a storyline for the next adventure. (well, next that I haven't written yet.). I can't start writing it until I have it at least vaguely planned out. So give me ideas? I don't want to run out of motivation on this and stop writing, but its hard when I have no idea where to go from here


	26. Half-Step-Mother-in-Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Eleven

Jenny was asleep for almost an hour.Eleven stayed by her bed the entire time, wracking his brain for ways he could have done things differently.Ways he could have stopped her from being shot, or at the very least found her sooner.How many times had he visited the 2130s since her death?

( _Two_ , the logical part of his brain whispered, _and neither of them in that region of space_.)

And all of those years of waiting, of thinking his daughter was dead, had culminated in this moment.The moment her eyelids fluttered and then opened, and his long-lost daughter looked at him for the first time.

“Who are you?”She asked.She didn’t sound happy to see him; if anything, she seemed defensive.

Eleven faltered.He wasn’t sure how to explain himself.He’s been operating under the assumption that she would recognize him, that she would be grateful he’s rescued her from the pirates.Surely 27 years wasn’t enough to completely forget your father’s face?

“Jenny!”Ten’s voice came from behind him.Jenny’s eyes fixed on something over Eleven’s shoulder, and her entire face lit up.

“Dad?”She asked, sounding overjoyed.

Ah, right. _That_ was why she hadn’t recognized him.Ten rushed past Eleven and enveloped his daughter- _their_ daughter- in a hug.After a few moments, he broke away, but they were both smiling.

“How did you find me?”She questioned breathlessly.“I thought I’d lost you.”

“I thought I had, too.”

“Sorry about the kidnapping.”Eleven added, breaking back into the conversation.“It was the only way we could get you off that ship safely, without your chip flaring up.”

“Er, who are you again?”Jenny asked him awkwardly.“You said you were my dad…”

“I am!”Eleven responded brightly.

“So… does that mean you two are dating?”She looked between the two of them, and Eleven could feel his face heating up.

“What?No!”He denied quickly.Next to him, Ten was spluttering.“I would never!”

“Then… how are you my dad?”

“I’m, er… we’re the same person.”He did his best to explain.This was a situation he had never imagined, not in his wildest dreams.

“Come again?”

“He’s a future version of me- regeneration, very complicated…”

 

 

Half an hour and many explanations later, the two Doctors and Jenny left the med-bay and entered the living room.Almost everyone had gone off- some to their rooms, some to play video games, some to who knows where- but Donna and Martha were both waiting there, watching some sort of spy movie.When she saw Eleven, Martha paused the show.

“Jenny?”She asked hesitantly, giving a small smile to the blonde behind him.

It took Jenny a moment, but after a pause she responded.“Martha?”She sounded unsure of herself.Martha nodded and her smile grew a little bit brighter.

“How are you alive?”Donna questioned her.Martha shushed her, but Donna ignored her.

Jenny shrugged.“As far as I can tell, the Source revived me along with everything else.I woke up, stole a ship, and the rest is history.”

“The Timelord in you probably helped with that.”Eleven added, giving his daughter a small smile.“I can’t imagine a human would have been revived that way.”

“But either way, what matters is that you’re safe.”Ten told her.“You’re healthy and alive and now you’re safe from the pirates as well.”

That made her pause.“The pirates?”She repeated, sounding surprised.“What about my chip?”

“Removed it.”Ten assured her.“It’s a simple surgery.You’re all clear now.”

“Sorry about knocking you out.”Eleven added sheepishly.“Although, to be fair, it did help you to avoid getting a nasty electric shock.”

“But you didn’t knock her out.”Ten pointed out.“Clara did.”

“Yes, but she’s not likely to apologize, so I thought I’d do it for her.”

“Sorry, who’s Clara?”Jenny questioned.

“My…”Eleven was suddenly at a loss for words, unsure how to describe Clara to his daughter.

“She’s his girlfriend.”Amy’s voice came from the top of the stairway behind them.“Hi, I’m Amy, by the way.”

“What?”Eleven spluttered.“No!She’s not my girlfriend!She’s just a friend!An assistant, really!”

“A ‘special’ assistant, maybe.”Amy teased him.

“That’s not true!”Eleven denied, turning to the others for help.“You all know that’s not true, right?”(Not that he would particularly _mind_ if she was his girlfriend, but, well, she wasn’t).

“I don’t know about that.”Donna agreed with Amy.“I mean, you’ve never carried _me_ bridal style into the TARDIS.”

“She was in pain!”Eleven argued.“Her feet had been on fire!”

“They’re definitely dating.”Amy whisper-told Jenny.Eleven’s face felt like it was on fire, and he desperately hoped that Clara never heard about this conversation.“I’m Amy, by the way, I’m that idiot’s best friend.”

Jenny greeted her, then turned back to Eleven.“What did you mean, it saved me from getting shocked?”

Ten answered for him.“You had standing orders not to abandon the ship or get your chip removed.If you’d left with us willingly, your chip would have gone off.”

“Huh.”She looked surprised.“I’d forgotten about that.But still, did you have to knock me out?”

“Blame Clara.”Ten advised her.“We told her not to.”

“There’s a lot of us, you might have trouble remembering all the names.”Martha told her.“I’ll introduce you to everybody later.”

Jenny laughed.“Try me.I bet you I can remember all the names better than you can.”

Martha gave her a look.“Are you sure?No offense, but…”

“Try me.”She repeated stubbornly.

“There’s Donna and Martha, you know them.”Eleven began.“Then there’s me, and Nine, and Ten- we’re your fathers.”

“There’s me and my husband Rory.Our daughter is his wife, so I guess that makes us your grandparents-in-law.”

“Half-grandparents-in-law.”Ten corrected.“Since he’s only half your dad.”

“Oh yeah?Then that makes Rose her half-step-mother.”Eleven retorted.“Since she’s only half your wife.”

“She’s not any my wife.”

“She is, half.And then there’s Mickey- I don’t think you’re related to him at all.” Eleven continued.

“If Rose is my half-wife, then Mickey is my half-husband.”Ten replied.“Wait, no, that sounds odd.My half-ex-boyfriend?So he would be your half-ex-stepfather.”

“If we’re doing it like that, I’m your half-aunt.”Donna offered.“Since I’m basically his sister.”

“Then Martha is also your aunt.”Ten added.“Since she was there when you were born.”

“But so was I.”Donna argued.“And she isn’t half your clone.So if anything, that makes me your three-quarters-aunt and Martha is your quarter-aunt.”

“By that logic, is there _anybody_ she’s not related to?”Amy questioned.

Eleven paused.He really had to think about that one.“…Bill and Heather?”

“No.”Amy disagreed.“Bill was telling us at lunch yesterday all about this one time she called Twelve her granddad.So she’s your… half-daughter?”

“Half-niece, it would be.”Martha disagreed.“Since Jenny’s not her mum.Half-step-niece, even, since they’re not blood related.”

Donna continued on from there.“So that makes Heather your half-step-niece in-law.”

“Right.”Amy turned back to Jenny.“Did you get all that?”

“You and Rory are kind of my grandparents, Nine and Ten and Eleven are my dads, Clara may or may not be my half-step-mother, and everybody else is just tagging along.”Jenny summarized.

“Names.Or you’ve lost the bet.”Donna told her, Martha nodding alongside her.

“Nine, Ten, Eleven, Martha, Donna, Clara, Rose, Amy, Rory, Mickey, Heather, Bill.”She recited smugly.“Timelord memory, remember?”

“The Doctor has never had that good a memory.”Amy disagreed.“That’s incredible.”

Jenny laughed.“Well, maybe I’m just special.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, yes. This chapter was heavily inspired by a similar conversation in 3D9C. However, I didn't copy it, I just borrowed the idea and made it my own.


	27. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Bill

After a relaxing morning of laying in bed, watching Jeremy Wade catch countless fish on TV, Bill finally got up.She wasn’t done watching TV, not by any means, but she needed to get a glass of water from the kitchen.Heather had fallen asleep some time during their fourth episode and was now curled up on her side, hugging a pillow close to her chest.On the other side of the bed, Mickey seemed to be dozing off as well.

Bill slipped out of the room, walking carefully so as not to make too much sound.She headed down the stairs and past the living room, going straight into the kitchen without sparing a glance at the occupants of the room.

She grabbed a tall glass, filled it with water, and brushed a curl out of her eyes.As she walked back towards the stairs, she heard an unfamiliar voice from behind her.

“So who’s that?”

Bill wasn’t ashamed to admit that she was startled.She jumped slightly, water sloshing out of her glass and onto the floor.She whirled around to see a blonde girl with short cropped hair and a scar on the left side of her face.She was sitting on the couch in between Ten and Eleven, who both kept looking at her like they couldn’t quite believe she was there.

“Hmm?Oh, that’s Bill.”Amy told her absent-mindedly from her seat on one of the other chairs.“Your half-step-niece.”

“…Sorry, what?”Bill looked between the two of them.

“Oh, ok.”The girl smiled.“I’m the Viper, by the way- sorry, I mean Jenny.”

Bill looked at Martha.“Is this a new person?When did we get a new person?”

“She’s his daughter.” Martha told her helpfully.“The Doctor’s, I mean.”

That took a moment for Bill to process.“His daughter?So, she’s like…my mum?Hold on, when did he have a kid?”

“Twenty-seven years ago, by my count.”Jenny (or was her name Viper?Bill was confused) responded.

“And she’s Ten’s daughter, not Twelve’s, so she’s not your mum.”Donna added.

“And… why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?”Bill wondered.“Did she jump strings?I thought we’d fixed that.”

“We did.”Ten assured her.“No, they found her when they went out this morning.She was one of the pirates.”

“Huh.”Bill paused, then shrugged.“I’m going back upstairs.Got to finish off this River Monsters marathon.”

Amy retched.Bill laughed and continued up the stairs.At the top of the stairs, she bumped into Rose.Literally, she bumped into her, spilling water down her shirt. “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine.”Rose muttered absentmindedly.

“No, here, let me.”Bill reached forward, concentrating on the wet patch of Rose’s shirt.It took a moment, but the water slowly pulled out of the fabric and into Bill’s fingers, where it was quickly absorbed by her skin.

“Oh, thanks.”Rose paused for a moment, looking like she was deliberating something.“Have you… no, you wouldn’t… have you seen Mickey?”

“Yeah.”Bill told her, giving the blonde an odd look.“He’s with Heather.I can get him for you if you want?”

“With Heather?”Rose questioned, suddenly looking very suspicious.

Bill sighed.“Rose, she is literally a lesbian, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“No, that’s not- I wasn’t-“Rose defended herself.“We broke up ages ago, it’s not like I’m jealous.”

“Uh-huh.What did you need him for?”Bill eyed her suspiciously. Sure, she didn’t know Rose very well, but she was definitely hiding something.

“Oh, nothing, I just… it’s complicated.”Rose told her lamely.“I need to talk to him about something.Plans for tomorrow, and all.”

“Alright.”Bill paused for a moment, debating if she should say something or not.She and Heather and Mickey hadn’t _just_ been watching TV all morning, they’d also had a long discussion about their personal lives, including his past with Rose. “Look, Rose, I know he used to like you, but he’s moved on.He’s in a good place now.So please don’t…”

Rose cut her off.“No.Please, don’t even go there.I’m not into Mickey, ok, the time for that is _long_ past.I just need to talk to him, about something totally unrelated to that.”

“Ok.”She nodded, choosing to take Rose at her word.She went back to Heather’s room and opened the door.Heather seemed to have woken up and was looking at her, bleary-eyed.Beside her, Mickey was scrolling through Hulu, looking for something else to watch.

“Rose wants you, by the way.”She told him, setting her water down on thin air and flopping backwards onto the bed.

“What?” He asked.“Why?”

“I dunno, she said something about plans for tomorrow.Seemed really suspicious about the whole thing, to be honest.”

“Huh.”He handed her the remote and stood up.”I guess I’ll go see what she wants.See you guys at dinner.”

With Mickey gone, Bill turned to Heather and planted a quick kiss on her lips.Heather, in a shocking turn of events, giggled.She returned the kiss, and the two of them fell backwards onto the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was mostly just filler, but... next chapter will be *very* interesting, I promise! It's a big day for Whouffle fans! Just one more week until the big one.


	28. Not That Kind of Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - Clara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are with a new chapter- the first part of the Whouffle adventure I promised! And I have some exciting news for you: I now have a beta writer/author. Everybody say hello to ScarletArcher, who has kindly agreed to edit my chapters and help me plot out future adventures!

The first thing Clara noticed when she woke up was her hair. Usually, when she woke up, her hair was a tangled mess over the pillows beneath her. She could always feel the weight of it on her shoulders, even when she was laying down. But right now she could barely feel it at all.

The second thing she noticed was the cold. She wasn’t in her bed, curled up under mountains of blankets, like usual. Instead, she was sprawled out on cold stone, feeling the chill through her thin dress.

And that was another thing. She was quite sure this wasn’t what she’d been wearing when she’d fallen asleep. Although, to be fair, she couldn’t remember falling asleep at all. The last thing she remembered was sitting down to dinner, a casual affair of pizza in the kitchen. And then... everything after that was blank, until the moment she woke up here.

“Hello?” She called out hesitantly, sitting up and rubbing her neck. It was bare. Hesitantly, her hand travelled farther up, grasping for her hair. It was far shorter than it should have been. It only about halfway down her neck, a far cry from her usual long locks. So, what, she had... gotten blackout drunk, cut her hair, and then passed out in this random hallway? But no, she didn’t feel hungover, just confused.

She stood up slowly, looking around at her surroundings. She was in a long stone hallway with wide archways and a bit of a draft. It looked oddly familiar, but she couldn’t for the life of her pace it. In front of her lay a huge, cavernous room flickering with candlelight. Behind her was creeping ivy and the scent of roses.

She took a cautious step forward. “Hello?” she tried again. There was no response but her own echo. She continued forward, trailing one hand along the wall, as she listened carefully for any sign of another living thing. Had she been kidnapped?

As she entered the room, she saw that it was even fancier than she had expected. While it was mostly bare, the candles burned brightly along the walls and chandeliers. Gold accents embellished the furniture and a huge spiral staircase rose up along the back wall. Her breath catching in her throat, she turned around and ran the other way.

Outside the castle was no better. Because that’s what it was: a castle. From her vantage point at the top of the steps, she could see a huge sprawling maze of overgrown rose bushes and dark hedges. On the sides of the towering stone walls was a huge mass of creeping ivy, giving the impression that the castle had been abandoned for many years. Beyond the maze was a forest, almost as dark and forbidding as one would expect from a magical forest.

She ran back inside. In the ballroom, there were tall mirrors on the walls. She hadn’t paid them any mind before, but now she ran up to one and frantically peered into its depths. Her hair was cut short in a bob, far shorter than she’d ever worn it in her life. She was wearing a light blue flapper dress that hung loosely down to her knees. She was barefoot and bare- shouldered, with a single chain of pearls hanging around her neck.

She stared at her reflection, uncomprehending. “What the bloody _hell_ ,” she began, unable to look away, “is going on?”

There was a loud noise from deeper within the castle, as if something heavy had been knocked over and clattered to the ground. Clara barely hesitated, taking off in a mad dash up the stairs and towards the noise. It was either someone else trapped in the castle, in which case she had an ally, or it was whoever had put her there, in which case she wanted to give them a piece of her mind.

She rounded the corner and was very surprised to see, rather than one of the TARDIS crew, a giant stuffed white rabbit. A giant stuffed white rabbit... wearing a tweed jacket?

“Eleven?” she asked hesitantly, and the rabbit turned around. Where the rabbit’s face should have been was a cut-out hole, revealing a very embarrassed-looking Eleventh Doctor standing there in a bunny costume.

“Don’t look at me.” He was looking down at the floor, refusing to meet Clara’s eyes.

“Oh, thank god I’m not the only one.” She threw herself into his arms, hugging him as tightly as she could. He hugged her back awkwardly.

“Er, Clara, are you going to let go of me?” he asked her after several moments had gone by.

“No,” she muttered into his jacket. “It’s cold and you’re a walking blanket.”

“Ok...” he trailed off, standing stock-still and allowing her to hug him. “Er, do you know what’s going on? The last thing I remember is eating dinner.”

“Same here. I just woke up a few minutes ago,” she told him.

“Do you think the others are here as well?” he asked her.

“No.” She broke off the hug, taking a step away from him. “They aren’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because...” she took a deep breath. “Because I know where we are. I recognize it. I wasn’t sure, not until I saw you, but now...”

“That’s great news!” He beamed. “You know where we are! Do you know how to get out of here?”

Clara was not smiling. “No, I don’t know how to get out. But this was my favorite movie as a kid. I remember because my first crush was... Rose.”

He blinked. “Sorry, did you just say your first crush was Rose?”

“No. Rose. I was talking to her about this the other day, she must have done something. I’ll bet you anything this is her fault.”

“But why would she put us in a movie? What are we supposed to do, just stand here until they let us out?”

 “I think...” she swallowed, not liking what she was about to say. “I think we’re supposed to act it out. Play the role, and all that.”

“Ok, so we do what? Fight some aliens, steal a million dollars, spy on the president?” He guessed.

“It’s not that kind of movie.”

“Then what kind of movie is it? Ooh, this is exciting, I get to see what kind of movies Clara Oswald likes.”

“Doctor...”

“Is it a horror film? Are we about to be attacked by killer werewolves or a vengeful ghost?”

“Doctor.”

“Ooh, is it a prison break movie? Is this secretly a giant prison that we have to escape?”

“Doctor. It’s a love story.”

That made him stop in his tracks. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” he spoke in a higher pitch than normal.

“It’s a love story.” she repeated, looking away from him. “They’re trying to set us up.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So... what do we do? There’s got to be a way out of here, a reset switch or something. If I can isolate the right frequency...”

He reached into his pocket, but pulled his hand out with nothing. “My sonic screwdriver is gone.” The pout was almost audible in his voice.

“Do you know where we are?” she asked him.

“The TARDIS simulators,” he answered her. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. We’re not really here, we’re asleep on the TARDIS somewhere.”

“Since when does the TARDIS have simulators?”

“Since my second incarnation. The real question is, how did Rose know about them?”

“Can you get us out of here without the sonic?”

“No. We’re trapped until someone on the outside turns off the simulation. So I guess, if you really think about it, we have no choice but to go along with it.”

“So, you’re saying we need to pretend to fall in love?”

 He hesitated, then nodded. Clara took a deep breath. She could do this, she could pretend to fall in love with the Doctor, pretend like she hadn’t been in love with him for months already.

“I’m going to go to my room,” she forced herself to say, and then she fled the room as quickly as she could. She ran into the room across the hall and shut the door, breathing quickly and shallowly and trying to hold the panic attack at bay.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t pretend like she wasn’t already head-over-heels in love with him. It was one thing to pretend when they were on the TARDIS, when she could keep her distance and everything would be fine. But how was she supposed to pretend when she was so close to him? When she was literally being forced to reenact one of the most famous romances in cinematic history? Beauty and the Beast was a cinematic masterpiece, but for the first time she wasn’t happy to see it. How was she supposed to dance with him without trying to kiss him and making a fool of herself?

“Rose, I know you’re watching this,” she began, glaring at the ceiling. “Whatever you’re playing at, just stop it. It’s not going to work.”

There was no response. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “I swear to god, when we get out of this thing, I’m going to kill you.”

Still no response. Moments later, there came a knock at the door. “Clara?” It was Eleven. He must have followed her. Of course he had.

“Doctor?” she responded, doing her best to keep her voice steady.

“Are you ok? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to...”

“I’m fine.” She promised him, the lie heavy on her tongue. “I’m just... angry.”

“At me? I’m so sorry Clara, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, you idiot. I’m angry at Rose, for coming up with this plan. And I’m angry at everyone else for going along with it.”

“Oh.” There was a pause, and then he continued. “Is there anything I can do?”

She half laughed, half sobbed. “No, I’ll be fine. Just go downstairs. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

There was a shuffling of footsteps outside as he walked away. Clara allowed herself to relax. Then she took a deep breath and turned to the wardrobe, which swung open invitingly to reveal a glittering golden dress. “Alright,” she said to herself, reaching out to take the dress off of the rack. “We’ve got work to do.”


	29. The Belle of the Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - Clara

Clara made her way down the stairs, feeling like she was walking on air. Her every movement reflected a thousand rays of light, the intricately beaded dress glittering golden as it hugged her curves. As she made her way down the steps, her eyes fell on Eleven, who was standing in the center of the ballroom and looking up at her in awe.

“Stop staring at me, you’re gonna make this weirder than it already is,” she told him, crossing her arms over her chest. This was just embarrassing, being all dressed up for someone who didn’t even feel the same way. She wished she could be wearing the traditional dress, the one from the movie, with a huge puffed-up skirt that could keep some distance between her and the Doctor. But instead, she was stuck with this thing, a gorgeous 1920s- style dress that hung down to the floor and was practically skintight. She felt uncomfortable and exposed.

“Blimey,” he said in response, staring slack-jawed at her dress. “You look beautiful.”

“Stop it,” she hissed, unable to stop herself from blushing. “We’ve just got to play along until they let us out.”

“But... you do look beautiful.” At her angry look, he added, “They’re not going to let us out until they think it’s real. We have to act normal.”

“Normal?” She hissed in response. Him flirting with her was _not_ normal. It was also not good for her health, going by the way her heartbeat sped up and threatened to launch itself out of her chest.

He shrugged. Clara couldn’t help but admit that she was more than a bit angry at the unfairness of this situation; she’d gotten all dressed up in this gorgeous dress and he was stood there in nothing but a bunny suit and a tweed jacket.

There was a swell of music. Clara glanced around to see that there was a veritable orchestra of golden instruments along the wall, all of which had now begun to play. It wasn’t hard to recognize the music as the song that had played during Belle and the Beast’s infamous dance scene, but without the singing teapot.

She took a deep breath. “I guess we’re supposed to dance, then?”

Eleven hesitated, then offered her his hand. She took it and they began to dance.

It quickly became clear that Eleven was absolutely hopeless at dancing. He didn’t know any of the steps and he kept trodding on her feet. After several excruciating attempts at dancing, she stopped moving and let go of his hand.

“I’m so sorry!” He apologized desperately. “I’m not trying to step on your feet- I swear I’m usually a better dancer than this.”

“It’s fine.” She told him with a small but genuine smile. “I’ll lead.” “What?”

She took his hands again and began to lead him through the waltz. She’s had this dance memorized since she was eight years old. She might be a bit rusty, and she wasn’t used to leading, but she got the hang of it rather quickly.

“You’re good at this,” he commented.

“I’ve had practice.”

“You know, I never took you for a Disney fan,” he admitted. “You always seemed more Men in Black than Cinderella.”

“Cinderella’s stupid. Did you know in the original fairytale her stepsisters cut off their heels and toes, and then get their eyes pecked out by birds?”

“I did know that, actually. I was there when it was written. How did _you_ know that?” “I have an English degree, it’s kind of my job to know this.”

“Well I don’t know, maybe you majored in... maths.”

“I majored in English, I just said. I wrote my thesis on fairytales, it’s kind of my thing.”

“Because you had a crush on the Beast?”

She hesitated. “Something like that, yeah. Although, I’ve got to say, the bunny suit is not a good look on you.”

“Well it’s not like I picked it,” he defended himself. “I bet it was the Ponds. Amy loves to make fun of my dress sense.”

“Everybody does,” Clara commented. “You’re an easy target.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He was indignant.

Clara didn’t respond. She was too busy staring up into his eyes. Her mouth had gone dry and she was suddenly hyper aware of how close they were standing.

“Clara?” He asked a moment later, sounding concerned. “Impossible Girl?”

That was what did it. Really, there were only two appropriate responses to this situation: kiss him, or run away and hide. She chose the second option. She pushed herself away from him, barely keeping her balance in those ridiculously tall heels she was wearing, and ran out of the room.

She didn’t know where she was running to, only that she needed to get away. She fled the castle and entered the rose maze, feeling the thorns clawing at her skin. She could hear Eleven behind her, calling for her to come back, but she kept running. She just could not face these emotions right now.

When she eventually stopped running, it was because she had reached a dead end. Rather than turning back and possibly running into the Doctor, she chose to sit down there and hope he didn’t find her.

He did, eventually, find her. It took him longer than she’d expected, although not as long as she’d hoped. She did her best to ignore him, hoping that he would take the hint and go away.

He did not take the hint. “Clara?” His voice was so gentle, so full of concern, that it reminded her of why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place. “Are you ok?”

She laughed bitterly, wiping the tears from her cheeks and looking up. “No.”

“What’s wrong?” He moved closer, crouching in front of her so that they were on eye level. “Can I help?”

“No. Nothing’s wrong. It’s just me, I’m just being stupid.”

“Clara Oswin Oswald. In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never once known you to do something stupid. Just tell me what it is so I can fix it.”

“Never? Not even when I set the kitchen on fire trying to bake a soufflé?”

“Not even then.”

“What about when I jumped into your timestream and almost got myself killed? I seem to remember you calling _that_ stupid.”

“Stupidly brave, maybe.” He smiled at her. “You’re brilliant, Clara. You’re brave and clever and fearless and you’re one of the strongest people I know, but you’ve never been stupid.”

She sighed. “I know, it’s just... this whole thing is all too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re you, and I’m me, and this is... _this_ , and...”

“...and?”

“And that’s all well and good when we’re on the TARDIS, but now we’re here and I’m wearing this stupid dress and it’s just really hard to avoid thinking about... everything.”

“What do you mean?”

Clara took a deep breath. “You’re a thousand years old, Doctor,” She began gently. “You’ve lived through things that I can’t even imagine. I know you’re not... I know you don’t.... And you’re _married_ , and...” She trailed off, looking away.

“Clara?” His tone was cautious, hesitant. “Are you saying...?”

She looked up into his eyes. “I know this isn’t what you wanted and it’ll make everything awkward, but there’s a reason Rose forced us into this stupid thing and it’s not because of you.”

“Clara, I had no idea...” He looked lost, but also like he was preparing to say something important. She took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for the rejection that she knew was coming.

“And it’s ok, I know you don’t feel the same way, but I just can’t keep it a secret any longer.” She blinked back the tears, waiting for him to say the damning words.

“But how can you say that?” He sounded confused. “I’m old and damaged and I’m not even the same species as you. How can you bring yourself to care for me?”

“What are you talking about? You’re amazing. How could anybody _not_ fall in love with you?”

There was a moment of silence as they both looked at each other, both of them at a loss for words. Then Clara kissed him. She didn’t mean to, it was a spur of the moment thing, but then he was kissing her back and his hands were in her hair and she allowed herself to hope, just for a moment, that maybe he _did_ feel the same way.

And then Clara Oswald woke up.


	30. Bi The Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The long-awaited conclusion to the Whouffle storyline! Once again, proofed and edited by the lovely TheScarletArcher.

“I cannot _believe_ you’ve done this,” Ten said, for what must have been the fifth time in as many minutes.

Jenny shrugged. “I think it’s funny.”

“See?” Rose asked, pointing to Jenny. “ _She_ agrees with me. We had to set them up, for their own good.”

“And you agreed to this?” Now Ten turned on Nine, who was glowering at him from his position next to Rose. “How could you? We’re the same person, you could at least show some respect.”

“She’s right, it was just embarrassing how oblivious they both were,” he spoke in Rose’s defense. “And to be fair, I didn’t actually help them do it.”

“No, you made me do all the heavy lifting,” Mickey complained, but he didn’t look mad.

Rose had somehow managed to convince both Jenny and Mickey to help her play matchmaker. Although, to be fair, Mickey had been incredibly reluctant, and Rose suspected that Jenny had just wanted to get back at Clara for knocking her out the previous day.

Their plan had been perfect. Rose had drugged Clara and Eleven’s drinks at dinner, the sedative taking effect after they left the kitchen and were headed for their rooms. There, Mickey had dragged them to the simulator pods and they’d gotten to work. It had taken a while to iron out the kinks, mostly due to Jenny continually programming in things without asking permission- the talking toilet and Clara-on-stilts had been Rose’s personal favourites, but she’d convinced Jenny to take them out.

Nine had been the one to stumble across them dragging limp bodies across the floor. He had, understandably, been more than a little miffed, but Rose had convinced him to let them be. They’d ended up leaving them in the pods overnight, fast asleep, and started the simulation first thing in the morning.

“Just for the record, I still think this is a huge violation of their privacy,” Bill informed them, taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl. On the huge screen, Clara and Eleven were just starting to dance.

“This was such a good idea,” Rose smiled. “You know, just the other day she was telling me all about how her first crush was on the Beast.”

“Isn’t he, like, a giant cat?” Martha asked after a moment. “That’s kind of weird.”

Jenny shrugged. “ _She’s_ weird.”

“Oi!” Rose glared at her. “We’re doing this to help them, not make fun of them!” She flicked a piece of popcorn at her.

"I just don’t really see how this is helping,” Bill commented.

“It’s totally helping. Look, they’re about to kiss, right now,” Rose pointed to the screen.

They did not kiss. Instead, Clara fled the room entirely. There was a moment of silence.

“They really don’t seem to be enjoying this,” Mickey began, looking conflicted. “Maybe we should let them out?”

Rose paused, considering it. “No,” she said after a moment. “We’ll give them ten more minutes. I really think this is gonna all work out.”

He sighed. “If you say so.”

Rose _did_ say so, and she was right. Bill cut off the screens when they started having their very emotional conversation, telling them that it was “personal” and “none of their business.” Rose couldn’t exactly argue with that. They didn’t actually _need_ to watch the footage anyway, since it was programmed to wake them up the moment they kissed.

Clara stretched. Rose almost didn’t notice it at first, it was such an innocuous motion. But Clara was sleeping, and her body shouldn’t be moving at all. Seconds later her eyes flew open and she turned her angry glare on Rose.

“ _What_ ,” she began, in that crisply angry way that all nannies have, “the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?”

Rose hadn’t really thought much of it. Or no, that was a lie. She’d planned it extensively; what she hadn’t thought of was the _ethics_  of it.

Pros: Clara and Eleven stop being weird, Clara is happy, Eleven is happy, less unresolved sexual tension, and Rose gets the fun of playing matchmaker. Cons: They might be a bit miffed at her, and there’s a possibility they could break up later and make it even more awkward then before.

She had not considered that Clara might not just be annoyed. She was downright _furious_.

“You had _no right_ ,” she’d ranted, upon regaining her equilibrium, “to do that. You _illegally drugged us_ and forced us into that without our consent.”

Rose had paused. “Yeah, but it all worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

“That’s not the _point_.” She had then stormed off to her room, and had not been seen since.

Now Rose paced outside her door, trying to think of the right way to fix this. Sure, she’d wanted to get Clara and Eleven together, and the simulation had been a fun and clever way to do that. But what if, in doing so, she had permanently damaged her friendship with Clara? Was that a sacrifice she was willing to make?

“I can hear you pacing out there, you know,” Clara grumbled through the door. Rose paused; she had, in fact, not known that.

“Can I come in?” She asked hesitantly.

There was no response, but Rose could practically _hear_ Clara’s shrug. She pushed open the door and found that, much to her surprise, it was unlocked. “Clara?”

The girl in question was sitting on her bed with her legs dangling over the edge. She didn’t look up to acknowledge Rose’s entrance, just sighed and waited for her to speak.

“I’m sorry,” Rose began, “that I tricked you and forced you into that. I was just trying to help.”

Clara did not reply.

“I really didn’t mean for you to be upset. I thought it would be sweet, I wasn’t trying to hurt you. And we didn’t even watch the end of it anyway, we gave you some privacy.”

“Wait.” Clara looked up at her now, a look of realization in her eyes. “You mean you were watching the rest of it?”

Rose paused. “Uh. Maybe?”

“When did you stop?” Clara demanded. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing.”

“We stopped when he found you in the garden,” Rose told her helpfully. “Bill made us turn it off.”

“So you didn’t even have the decency to turn it off yourselves?”

“...No?” Rose admitted hesitantly. “But you have to admit, it was pretty good. You made a great Belle.”

Clara actually smiled at that. “Well, remind me to thank Bill, then. And just because you’re complimenting me doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

Rose smiled, pleased to see that Clara wasn’t going to stay angry. “Forgive me?” She joked. “You should be thanking me. I’m the one who chose _Beauty and the Beast_ , Mickey wanted to do _Titanic_.”

Clara paused. “About that,” She said slowly. “You do remember the conversation we had about it the other day?”

Rose did, in fact, remember the conversation. She and Clara and Donna had been discussing their favourite childhood movies, and Clara had said that hers was _Beauty and the Beast_. Rose (who’s favourite had been _The Little Mermaid_ ) had asked her why, and Clara had offhandedly mentioned that her first crush had been from that film.

Rose nodded.

“You do realize... I wasn’t talking about the Beast,” Clara told her, watching Rose’s face intently.

“...You had a crush on Gaston?” Rose clarified. “Ok, a bit weird, but probably not as weird as having a crush on a giant cat.”

Clara shook her head. “Not Gaston.”

“Then...” Rose trailed off, deep in thought. When it occurred to her, her eyes snapped back to Clara’s in shock. “Belle? You had a crush on _Belle?_ ”

Clara nodded mutely.

“But you’re- but she’s-“ Rose spluttered. “How come you kissed the Doctor if you’re gay?”

Clara looked affronted. “I’m not _gay_ ,” she told Rose. “Bisexuality is a thing, you know.”

Rose did not know. She told Clara so.

“Oh god, I forgot. You’re from 2008. That’s practically the Dark Ages.” Clara shook her head in amazement. “Well, it exists.”

“What does that even mean?” Rose questioned, ignoring the insult to her time period. “Bisexuality? I thought people were just gay or straight.”

Clara scoffed. “Typical 21st century ignorance.”

“...You’re from the 21st century.” Rose pointed out.

Clara waved her off. “Details. I’m bi, which means I like boys _and_ girls. And people of other genders, obviously, I’m not _transphobic_.”

Rose blinked. She knew people could be gay, obviously, but she had never considered that there might be other labels beyond ‘gay’ and ‘straight’.

Clara shook her head. “We can talk more about this later. Right now, I need to go find Eleven and try to figure out... everything.”

She got up and left the room. Rose, who had nothing better to do, followed.


	31. Duty Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - Martha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhh I don't know what this is. but here you go.

Martha’s phone rang. She glanced at it, not really wanting to pick up. If it was her mum or Leo or even Tish, it could wait.

It was, in fact, none of those people. Instead, the caller I.D. read ‘UNIT.’ She sighed and picked it up. “Jones.”

“ _Dr Jones, report. We have been unable to locate you. Do you require pickup?_ ” The voice on the other end was familiar, although Martha couldn’t quite place it.

“Negative,” she answered after a brief hesitation. “Who is this?”

“ _Kate Stewart, Head of Scientific Research. Are you somewhere safe?_ ”

“Yes,” Martha told her. She didn’t know Kate Stewart well, but she did know that she was trustworthy. “I’m with the Doctor. No idea how long I’ll be, but I expect to be back on Earth within a couple of days.”

“ _We have a situation,_ ” Kate Stewart told her. “ _Requesting assistance. How quickly can you be to London HQ?_ ”

Martha glanced at the Doctor. Nine and Ten were both right there, obviously trying to listen in. “Right away.” She answered. “I’ll need a date and time.”

“ _15 June, 2009. 4:09 AM._ ”

Martha hung up the phone and looked towards the Doctors hopefully. “Anyone want to give me a lift?”

“So what does UNIT want with you, anyway?” Ten asked her as they exited the TARDIS. “I thought you quit.”

“No, I didn’t quit, I’m just traveling with you _temporarily._ ”

“Right. Temporarily.” He nodded. “Just out of curiosity, do you remember what happened the last time we said that?”

Martha gave him a mock glare. “If I’m remembering correctly, _you_ were the only one who said that.”

“Where are we?” Jenny asked as she shut the door behind them. Bright fluorescent lights reflected off metal, lighting up the whole room.

“UNIT headquarters, London,” Kate Stewart’s voice came from behind them. She was sitting behind a desk, frowning at a computer monitor as she distractedly looked up to greet them. “You’re late.”

“Oh, no,” Martha groaned. “Doctor, you promised we wouldn’t be late this time.”

“We shouldn’t be,” Ten frowned, glancing from Kate to the TARDIS and back again. “I triple checked the coordinates.”

“How late?” Martha asked her. “Is there still a situation?”

“Twenty-nine minutes,” Kate answered. “Yes, there’s still a situation.”

“Oh, twenty-nine minutes? That’s not late! Actually, for me, that’s practically early.” Ten mused.

“Regardless, we do have a situation.” Kate Stewart turned around her monitor so they

could see it. Martha, Ten, and Jenny all crowded around it, trying to figure out what they were looking at.

“At approximately 3:15 this morning, our scientists discovered some odd readings. A radio signal far more powerful than any technology from this century. A signal beaming out into space.”

“A message?” Ten guessed. “What did it say?”

“Nothing. That’s the thing. It was just static. We’ve had out best analysts looking at it, but so far we can’t figure out any pattern.”

“And did you trace the signal back to its source?” Jenny asked. “It could be a distress call of some sort.”

“We did. It was coming from the Arctic. We found what appears to be some sort of metal object buried beneath the ice, but it has not been excavated completely yet. Preliminary testing shows high levels of titanium, aluminum, and yttrium, as well as several elements that are not found on Earth.” She gave the Doctor a significant look.

“Dalekanium?” He guessed. “Bazoolium?”

“We have been unable to identify them thus far. However, as the object is believed to be extraterrestrial in origin, we decided that it was time to call in some help.”

“Right. And has the object given any signs that it may be dangerous?” Ten questioned. “Have you got any idea what it is?”

“Signs like what?”

“Oh, you know, vague messages of doom, large weapons, that kind of thing.”

As Kate shook her head, Jenny shot her father a look. “That’s not exactly reassuring.”  She pointed out. “If it is dangerous, it’s not going to advertise that. There _is_ such a thing as stealth, you know.”

Ten shrugged. Since neither of them were being particularly helpful, Martha took it upon herself to get more information out of Kate. “Have you got photographs of it?” She asked.

Kate nodded, pulling them up on her screen. While it was hard to see much in the picture, due to the fact that most of the object was buried under ice and there was frost covering the entire lens, it was clear that there was _something_ there.

“We’ve also got x-rays of the whole thing.” She pulled up a different file, this one black around the edges with a bright white shape in the middle. The shape was oddly rounded but not spherical. If Martha had to pick a word to describe it, she would almost want to say _lumpy_ , in a smooth sort of way.

“Looks vaguely familiar,” Ten remarked, pulling on his glasses and peering closer at it. “Do you know how long it’s been there?”

“No, but it just started broadcasting last night. Based on how deep it is in the ice, I’d say at least two years, maybe more.”

“It’s a ship,” Jenny told them. Martha, Ten, and Kate Stewart all looked at her. “What? It is.” She pointed to the screen, tracing with her finger along the edge of the object. “It’s rounded for aerodynamics, but that’s the front of it right there. And that blob on the back, I think those are the engines.”

“How in the world do you get a _ship_ out of _that_?” Martha asked her, but Ten was nodding.

“No, no, I kind of see it. It’s a ship. A very poorly designed one, but still a ship,” Ten agreed with her. “The shape of those engines though, I’d say... slipstream?”

“Could be, yeah,” Jenny nodded. “Although it’s impossible to tell without looking at it closer.”

“No need. A spaceship in the Arctic with slipstream engines?” Ten looked up from the screen, meeting Martha’s eyes. “I know what this is.”

“What?” She asked.

“Come on, back to the TARDIS.”

“Why, what is it? Where are we going?” Martha asked again. “2004,” he told her shortly.

“Doctor, what kind of ship is it?” Kate demanded. “This is my planet, I have a right to know.”

He looked back at her from where he was opening the TARDIS doors. He only said one word before vanishing into his own ship.

“Slitheen.”


	32. A Trip to the Arctic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - Jenny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I forgot to update yesterday! Here's this chapter. I only have one more written, so hopefully I can get back in the spirit of things and write some more this coming week.

“ _No_ , Jenny, for the last time, you are _not_ allowed to chop their heads off!” Ten snapped. Jenny pouted. She and her dad were alike in many ways, but her predisposition towards violence was something he could never understand, just like his pacifism was beyond her comprehension.

“But they’re going to take over the world!” she argued. “They’ve killed people! I’d be doing a public service!”

“Killing is wrong!” Ten argued back.

“Not if the people you’re killing are terrible people!”

“If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world remain the same.” She wasn’t sure what he was quoting, but his argument was inherently flawed. “Violence is never the answer.”

“But if I kill a lot of killers, the number of killers in the world goes down by, like, a lot,” she pointed out. “I think I’ll take my chances.”

“Come on. Martha? Help me out here.” Ten turned to Martha, who was sitting in one of the chairs by the console and doing her best to ignore them both. “Tell Jenny violence is wrong.”

“Well...” she hesitated.

“Oh, come on!” Ten complained. “You took the Hippocratic Oath, for god’s sake! You can’t expect me to believe that you’re fine with killing.”

“I’m just saying, she does have a point.”

He gaped at her. After a few moments, he closed his mouth and shook his head. “No. You can’t kill them. I first met them in 2006, so if they die now it would be a paradox.”

Jenny sighed. “Now _that_ is actually a good argument. Why couldn’t you have led with that one?”

“Either way, we’re here now,” Martha tried to diffuse the situation. “So why don’t we just make the best of it, yeah? What have we got to do?”

“Right. It’s pretty straightforward, actually. We don’t want to interact with the past any more than we have to. So that means we have to get in, take a look at the ship, and get out, without being spotted.”

Jenny nodded. “So we’re looking for evidence of tampering on the ship, right? Scheduled broadcasts, a bomb, pretty much anything that could set off UNIT’s sensors?”

“And if we do find anything,” Martha asked, standing up from her chair, “do we remove it?”

“No, no, we just find out what it is. Then we head back to 2009, tell your scientist friend what it is, and leave them to sort it all out. Sound like a plan?”

Jenny sighed and nodded, disappointed. Ten opened the TARDIS doors, releasing a blast of cold air into the TARDIS. Jenny, Martha, and Ten had already gotten winter coats and gloves from the wardrobe, but she could feel the chill even through her parka. Jenny stepped outside.

There was silence for a moment. “I don’t see the ship,” she said after a moment. The ice in front of them looked pristine, not a snowflake out of place. There wasn’t exactly anywhere for a gigantic spaceship to be hiding.

“Is that it over there?” Martha asked, pointing to a dark shape on the horizon.

The shape moved. Ten squinted at it. “No,” he said after a moment. “I’m pretty sure that’s a reindeer, actually.”

“A reindeer?” Jenny repeated curiously. “What’s a reindeer?”

“You don’t know what a reindeer is?”

“Well, obviously. They don’t exactly have earthly animals in Orion’s Belt, you know.”

“Haven’t you ever been to Earth?” Martha wondered.

Jenny shrugged. “Well, yeah, but it was the 2120s. I mean, there wasn’t even _ice_ in the arctic by that point. Polar bears had gone extinct.”

“That’s... deeply disturbing,” Martha told her.

Before Jenny could reply, her eyes caught on something in the sky above them. She tilted her head up to look at it. “I think we’ve found the spaceship,” she commented.  
Ten and Martha followed her gaze. Sure enough, there was a large spaceship descending from the sky above them.

“Right,” Ten said. “Into the TARDIS. I’ll turn on stealth mode.”

Jenny rolled her eyes but complied. Once they were back inside the TARDIS, Ten hit a few buttons and the entire ship faded from view.

They watched on the monitor as the Slitheen ship landed and its crew stepped onto the ice. Jenny barely reacted as she saw them, although in the corner of her eye she could see Martha making a face at their slimy green baby-faces. There seemed to be approximately twelve Slitheen on the ship- seven began trekking across the ice to some unknown location while the other five remained on the ship.

Jenny opened the door of the TARDIS and stepped outside. She was clutching her weapon tightly in one hand. Despite all of the judgmental looks her father kept giving her for it, her sword was useful. It was sharp, for one thing, and there were little lines on it that lit up in various colors when it was being activated. And besides, it was practically suicide to go into a dangerous situation with no weaponry. She began walking towards the Slitheen ship.

She’d only made it halfway across the ice, Ten and Martha trailing reluctantly behind her, when one of the Slitheen stepped out of the ship. They had been spotted.

“We come in peace,” it cried in a high pitched, trilling voice. “We mean no harm to this planet or its inhabitants.”

“You’re _Slitheen_.” Ten told it incredulously. “Of course you mean harm. It’s what you _do_.”

The Slitheen made a movement that could have been meant as a shrug. “It was worth a try.”

Then it lunged. Jenny glanced over her shoulder at her dad, shooting him a small smile. “I’ll hold it off. You get to the ship.”

“What do I do?” Martha asked her in the moments before the Slitheen reached them.

Jenny didn’t have time to answer. She dodged the Slitheen’s attack, swinging her sword up in an arc towards its neck. The alien creature ducked below the blade and lashed out at her with its clawed fingers.

“I smell your fear,” The Slitheen trilled. “A poor little girl, frightened and alone.”

“You’re wrong.” Jenny told it, seamlessly dodging its next attack. Two more Slitheen ran out from the ship to aid it in battle. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“No, not you. Her.” It made a movement towards Martha, but its path was blocked by Jenny’s blade.

“ _You_ smell like the stars,” one of the others told her, circling around its prey. “But we’ll kill you either way.”

“Take your skin,” The smallest one giggled as it clawed at Martha. “Take your place. Take your planet.”

Jenny rolled her eyes as Martha took a step back. “Really,” she said, “that’s what everyone says. Could you try to be a little bit more creative?”

It clawed at Martha again, this time catching on the skin of her arm and drawing blood. She clutched the wound and gasped, stumbling away from the alien. Jenny tossed her the sword.

Martha caught it and stabbed at the Slitheen. It stepped away from her, hissing. But with Martha now protected, the other two saw Jenny as an easy target.

They thought wrong.

The moment Jenny saw Ten appear around the side of their spaceship, she snapped into action. She knocked one of them out with a well-placed punch to the head, grabbing back the sword from Martha and brandishing it at the other. It hissed and backed away.

As the two Slitheen fled, dragging their unconscious comrade along with them, Ten returned to their side. “Solved it.” He told them with a grin. “The signal is completely harmless, just a bit of loose equipment that will be damaged when Earth is moved.”

“So we go tell Kate, and then we can go home?” Martha suggested hopefully. Ten nodded.

“Home?” Jenny scoffed. “The day has barely begun. I haven’t had _nearly_ enough adventure yet.”

Ten graced her with a smile. “Anywhere you want to go, just say the word.”


	33. The Eshnunna Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 - Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm *so* sorry it took me this long to update! I've had this chapter written for a while but it needed some serious editing, and honestly I just kept forgetting that I needed to post it. But it's here now!
> 
> Unfortunately, I can't promise that more chapters will be coming any time soon. Since the beginning of this fic, I've kept several chapters in reserve to make sure I always had something to post. Lately I just haven't had any inspiration to write, and as of this chapter, I am officially out of reserve chapters. I have literally nothing else written. I'm planning to watch some Doctor Who and try and get in a writing mood over the weekend, but I just can't make any promises. This fic is definitely not being discontinued, it's just that there might be a longer wait in between chapters.

“I feel _ridiculous_ ,” Rose scowled. She was tugging a bright pink comb through her hair. They had been on the TARDIS for less than a week, but already it had grown past her shoulders. She wasn’t sure how she had gotten it so tangled the night before, but it looked like an absolute mess.

“You _look_ ridiculous,” Jenny assured her. Rose’s scowl deepened.

“How did you even get it that tangled?” Amy asked her, more than slightly amused by her friend’s suffering.

“I have no bloody idea,” Rose sighed. “Just rolled over a lot, I guess.”

“Just cut it off,” Amy advised her.

“With what, safety scissors?” Rose snorted. “In case you hadn’t noticed, nobody on this ship is a bloody hairdresser.”

“Mmm.”

Amy glanced over at Jenny, somehow unsurprised to see her peering at a journal instead of paying attention to the conversation. “Hey, you’re a Time Lord,” she said.

“Time _Lady_ ,” Jenny corrected her.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You can fly the TARDIS, can’t you? You can take Rose to get a haircut.” Anything to make Rose stop whining about her hair.

Jenny laughed. “I’m not my dad. Flying isn’t something you’re just born with, you have to be taught. You’d be better off getting Bill or Heather to do it.”

“They haven’t left their room all morning,” Amy disagreed. “You can at least try.”

Jenny frowned for a moment, obviously deep in thought. Then she brightened up. “The telepathic circuits!” she exclaimed. “I’m sure I can figure out how to use those.”

“Great!” Amy beamed, standing up. She grabbed Rose’s arm and pulled her up, too. “Let’s go.”

“They’re under this panel, yeah?” Jenny asked as she flipped the section of the console up. It revealed only wiring underneath. She frowned, flipped it back down, and moved one panel to the left. When she flipped it up, it revealed a canister of an oddly bubbling purple liquid. “Er, maybe not this one, then.”

“What _is_ that?” Amy asked, peering at it curiously.

“Engine fluid. For when we actually fly, instead of dematerializing,” Jenny explained distractedly as she moved to try a third panel. This one, when she flipped it up, revealed the curved gel of the telepathic circuits.

“A haircut, yeah?” She asked. “That’s, what, early 21st century?”

Amy just shrugged. That was probably the safest bet, but who knew where Rose wanted to get her hair done.

With one last glance at her discarded journal, Jenny stuck her hands in the gel and closed her eyes. The time rotor began to thrum. Then came their usual rocky trip through the time vortex, followed by a relatively smooth landing.

“Right.” Jenny removed her hands from the gel and straightened up, grabbing the journal from the table and pocketing it. “Ready to go?”

“Oh, thank god.” Rose was already moving towards the doors. “There is just no way I can comb this out by myself.”

She threw open the door and stepped outside. She had only made it a few feet when she stopped in her tracks. “Er, Jenny...” she began slowly, “How sure are you that this is the right place?”

“Pretty sure, why?” Jenny asked as she and Amy moved to stand behind Rose.

“And, er, where do you expect me to find a cheap hairdresser in front of the British bloody Museum?”

Amy frowned, pushing her way past her so she could see. Rose was right- this was definitely not the type of street on which you would find a cheap and decent hairdresser. They seemed to be in central London, but the posh part where only museums and high-end restaurants could be found.

“But this is- unless- no, that’s perfect!” Jenny was clearly getting very worked up aboutsomething. Amy just wasn’t sure what. “Of course it would be in London! Where else would it be?”

“What are you talking about?” Amy questioned.

“A hairdresser, hopefully.” Rose snapped peevishly. Her hair was still a complete mess, and the comb she’d been using was now completely stuck in it.

Jenny pulled the journal out of her pocket. “The Eshnunna Diamond,” she explained, turning to the first page of the journal. Inscribed on tea-brown papers was a sketch. An artist’s rendition, to be precise, of a glittering diamond cut in the shape of a triangle. It was embedded on a pendant, surrounded by a nest of small rubies.

Amy considered it for a moment, turning the words over in her mind. “Never heard of it.” She decided after a few moments of deliberation.

“No, you wouldn’t have,” Jenny murmured. “It’s been lost for thousands of years, ever since the fall of Mesopotamian civilization. The prize of a lifetime.”

“And it’s here, in downtown London?”

“I have a better question,” Rose butted in. “Why are _we_ in London? I want to get my hair done and get back to the TARDIS.”

“The telepathic circuits,” Jenny explained distractedly. “You can’t let your mind wander. I must have been thinking of the diamond- it’s what I was looking at before you started talking to me.”

“But if you didn’t know where it was, how did the TARDIS know to take you here?” Rose asked logically.

“It’s close enough to where we were going. Maybe the TARDIS picked up some sort of background radiation or something.”

“So, one diamond in all of London. How are we supposed to find it?”

In response, Jenny pointed to a rather large banner flying at the end of the block. It advertised the Natural History Museum, the words against a background of diamonds and gems.

“Oh. Well, that was easy.”

 

 

 

“I still don’t see why we had to do this now,” Rose grumbled. “We could have easily nipped over to another street and gotten my hair done.”

“Oh, shut it,” Amy told her. Rose’s (admittedly tangled) blond hair looked like a rat’s nest, but that wasn’t _her_ problem.

“So here’s the plan. We go in as tourists, locate the diamond, and then retrieve it,” Jenny told them both in a hushed whisper. They were nearing the front of the line now, all three of them doing their best to look inconspicuous. Amy honestly couldn’t believe they were about to try to steal a diamond in broad daylight.

“You’d think the museum would have noticed it,” Rose pointed out as she stepped through the metal detectors. “The diamond, I mean. It’s not exactly inconspicuous.”

Jenny shrugged. “Standard human idiocy, I suppose.” “What floor are the gemstones on, again?” Amy asked her.

“Second floor, all the way to the right,” A bored-sounding security guard told her. Amy flushed at the reminder that other people could hear them talking. Other people had probably overheard them _planning to steal a diamond_.

“Thanks,” She told the guard with a disarming smile, hurrying the other two past. The sooner they got this over with, the better. She had no idea how she had even let Jenny talk her into this.

Amy stepped onto the escalator. It was crowded in the museum, far more so than she had expected it to be. She did her best to ignore the swarm of tourists pushing past her, instead choosing to hold still as the escalator took them up.

Thankfully, most of the tourists seemed to be heading to the left towards the dinosaur exhibit. Amy was able to slip out of their midst, making a beeline for the geology section. The guard at the entrance nodded at her in greeting as she walked inside.

Jenny and Rose were right behind her. Amy stopped and glanced around, not quite sure what it was she was supposed to be looking for. A golden pendant with a diamond and rubies? Which display would that be in?

“Excuse me,” Jenny’s voice came from behind her. Amy turned around to see that Jenny was walking up to the security guard.

“Yes?” The guard asked her, looking a bit surprised at being addressed so directly. “Do you know where I can find the Eshnunna Diamond?”

Amy closed her eyes. This was _not_ how she’d expected their heist to go. Weren’t jewel thieves supposed to be inconspicuous? To work in secret? They were definitely not supposed to ask for directions to their target.

“Sorry, I’ve got no clue,” the guard admitted. “I don’t know all the pieces in the collection. But there’s a tour due through here in about ten minutes, I’m sure you could ask the guide.”

“Are you sure you don’t know?” Jenny questioned him. “It’s a big diamond, maybe 37 carats, embedded in a golden pendant?”

The guard shrugged. “No, sorry. I don’t think we have any pieces like that.”

“Are you absolutely certain?” she asked again, narrowing her eyes slightly. “It would have been found in Mesopotamia, maybe in the ruins of an ancient city?”

“No.” He was starting to look annoyed now. “If you have any other questions, you can ask the tour guide. Otherwise, I need to get back to my job.”

Time for some damage control. Amy hurried forwards, linking her arm with Jenny’s. “I’m sorry about her,” She apologized profusely. “We’re doing a research project for one of our classes, she just gets a little bit overexcited.”

“Oh?” The guard asked her, looking more relaxed now. “What university?”

“...Edinburgh,” she lied after a brief hesitation. “But we’re doing a group project on the Eshnunna diamond, and when we heard it was in London we just _had_ to come and see it.”

“Well, I’ve never heard of the Eshnunna Diamond,” he told her again. “But there are plenty of pieces here that might be interesting to a geology major. And we’ve got a whole table of diamonds in the next room, you should take a look and see if it’s one of those.”

“Oh, I’m not a geology major.” she corrected him automatically.

He frowned. “Oh, so you study... archaeology?”

Amy panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. “Chemistry.”

Rose and Jenny both answered at exactly the same time, only milliseconds behind Amy. “Hairdressing,” Rose said, while Jenny said, “Physical education.”

The guard looked between the three of them, sending a puzzled glance at Rose specifically. “So you’re telling me that a chemistry major, a physical education major, and a hairdresser all got assigned a group project about geology?”

Amy nodded slowly. It didn’t make much sense, but it wasn’t like she could change her story now.

The guard eyed them for a few moments, then shook his head. “Bloody Scotland,” he muttered under his breath, waving for them to go inside the exhibit.

Amy huffed as they went past. “Oi!” She complained quietly. “What’s wrong with Scotland?”

But Jenny wasn’t listening. “It’s not in here,” she murmured, standing in front of the case of diamonds. “How can it not be in here?”

“Maybe you were wrong?” Rose guessed, reaching up in one last attempt to dislodge the comb from her hair. “Maybe it’s not in London.”

“What’s so special about this diamond, anyway?” Amy asked her. “I mean, I know you said it’s old, but that can’t be _all_ it is.”

“No,” Jenny murmured. “No, it’s not just old. It’s supposed to have supernatural powers. The legends say that it contains the soul of a long-dead king, and that when the pieces are reunited...” She trailed off, looking like she had just come to a sudden realization. “ _Oh_.”

“Oh, what?” Amy asked, straightening up.

“When the pieces are reunited,” Jenny repeated. “I was assuming the pendant was just one piece of a larger whole, but what if it’s not? What if the pendant itself is the whole, and the pieces are still separated?”

“The diamond isn’t in the pendant,” Amy realized. “Which means...”

“It could be any one of these,” Jenny was looking at the case with dismay. Rose groaned. “We’re never gonna find out which one it is."


	34. Daylight Robbery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 - Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this? a chapter? why yes, yes it is! thanks again to the lovely TheScarletArcher who's been proofreading these for me. and I have a special announcement- TheScarletArcher will actually be writing the next storyline of this, so keep your eyes peeled for updates!

“Right,” Jenny nodded decisively. “We’ll just take all of them.”

Rose and Amy’s heads whipped around to stare at her at the same time. “What?” Rose demanded. “No! You can’t do that!”

“Why not?” Jenny shrugged. She looked supremely unconcerned, considering what she was suggesting.

“Because that’s illegal,” Amy hissed.

“Stealing a hundred diamonds isn’t any worse than stealing one,” Jenny defended herself, pulling a familiar-looking object out of her pocket. It took Rose a moment to recognize it as her futuristic weapon, the glassy-looking scythe with lines of color. Before she had a chance to protest, Jenny was pressing the blade into the glass of the case, carving a line around all four sides as if it were butter. She lifted the top off of the case, setting it carefully on the floor.

“Oh, I’d shut the doors, if I were you,” she told them conversationally. “The alarms will go off any second.”

It took every bit of self-control she had for Rose not to start cursing Jenny out then and there. Instead, she and Amy hurried over to the entrance, closing the door as quickly as possible. The alarms started blaring and she could hear the footsteps of the guards outside. Just before the guards would have burst inside, she and Amy managed to drag one of the museum benches in front of the door to act as a barricade.

“How are we gonna get out?” Amy demanded, looking around in a panic. The room they were in didn’t have any windows, to protect the gems from harmful light, and they had just blocked off the only exit.

“Through the ceiling, obviously.” Jenny was studying the diamonds intently, not even glancing up as she spoke. “I wonder if I can just...” She brought one of the diamonds to her mouth slowly, placing it on her tongue. After a few seconds, she spat it out into her hand, looking disgusted. “Ugh, I don’t even want to know where _that_ one came from. It tastes like cholera.”

She put more in her mouth, tasting them and spitting them out one after another. “Not nearly old enough... no, that’s definitely from sub-saharan Africa... that one’s not even a real diamond, it’s lab-grown...”

Finally, on the seventh diamond, she spat it into her palm and beamed. “Ancient Mesopotamia! We have a winner!”

“Great,” Amy glared at her, the sarcasm evident in her voice, “now can we get out of here?”

Jenny nodded brightly, dropping the diamond into Rose’s hand. She caught it, then made a face and wiped her hands on her trousers. “What do we do now?” she questioned, panicked, as she dropped it into her jacket pocket and zipped it inside. The guards were still outside the door, banging on it with enough force that she wouldn’t be surprised if it split in two.

Jenny leapt up onto the display case, using the added height to reach the ceiling panels and push one to the side. Rose winced as her boot moved slightly, knocking several of the priceless diamonds to the floor. Then Jenny pulled herself up, vanishing into the ceiling.

She poked her head down moments later. “Well?” She asked. “Are you coming?”

Rose wasn’t sure how they’d managed to get out of the museum without getting caught. They had dropped out of the ceiling into a storage closet and then entered the crowd of confused tourists who were being evacuated from the museum. Almost all of the guards had been redirected to the gemstones exhibit, leaving no one to recognize them as they hurried outside.

“Hey!” a police officer stopped them just past the steps of the museum. “You can’t leave until you’ve given your statements.”

Rose hesitated. The officer’s gaze landed on her still-tangled hair, and his eyes widened. “Put your hands up, you’re under arrest.”

“What for?” Rose demanded. Surely they hadn’t found proof it was them already?

“On the grounds that our top suspects are a group of three girls, and you fit their descriptions exactly?” He snarked, pulling out a pair of handcuffs as Rose slowly put her hands in the air.

Jenny smiled with faux-politeness. “Sorry, officer, no-can-do.” She told him apologetically. He moved to restrain her, but she drop-kicked him to the ground and turned to run. Rose followed.

“Bitch,” the officer groaned, getting to his feet and reaching for his gun.

“Actually, my name’s the Viper,” Jenny told him brightly, grabbing the gun from his hand and tossing it to the side. “And these are my associates, Carrot-Top and Goldilocks.”

“Jenny!” Rose hissed. “Come _on_!”

Jenny smiled at the officer apologetically. “I really have to be going now,” she told him. “But, ah, thanks for the diamond?”

And with that, she turned and ran towards the TARDIS.

“How are you so calm about this?” Rose hissed as they reached the TARDIS doors, having lost the police along the way. “We’re gonna get arrested!"

“We’re not gonna get arrested,” Jenny told her calmly. “We’ll be off in another galaxy before they can even get a sketch artist.”

“You almost got us killed,” Amy accused, eyes narrowed.

Jenny shrugged. “You would’ve been fine. Not the first time I’ve robbed places like this. Probably won’t be the last, either. Space pirate, remember?”

“What, and they teach the layout of earthly museums way out there in space?” Rose snorted.

“Well, I did live on Earth for a bit too.” Jenny admitted. “2120s Los Angeles, a great place to visit if you’re ever feeling bored. You would not believe how easy it is to rob places when all of their security is automated and links to the same system. Honestly, pathetic.” She shook her head in disapproval. “Mind you, I wasn’t actually a pirate then, I was more of a freelancer.”

Amy coughed something that sounded suspiciously like ‘thief’. Jenny was unbothered.

“More of a private investigator, actually, dealt with alien threats and the like. It was just, you know, sometimes you’ve got to steal something in order to save the world. That was _ages_ before I got into the pirating business.”

They had reached the TARDIS. Rose paused just outside the doors. “What about the other pieces?” She asked Jenny. “All we’ve got is the diamond.”

“Probably still in the ruins of Eshnunna.” She sounded unconcerned. “I’ll take the TARDIS and go after them some other day. For right now, I’m thinking we could grab some pizza?”

Amy nodded eagerly, but Rose groaned. “Fine,” she said. “Pizza. But only after we get this stupid comb cut out of my hair.”


	35. We're Going Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6 - Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up guys? This is the first chapter written by my lovely beta author, A_Wistful_Writer (formerly known as ScarletArcher). Be sure to congratulate him in the comments, because it's amazing!
> 
> With that said, my apologies for the delay. He gave me this chapter weeks ago and I just never got around to proofing it. Completely my fault, so apologies for that. But hey, it's a great chapter, and it's here now!

The TARDIS was quiet by the time Ten finished tinkering with the TARDIS. Sliding the sonic out of his pocket and melding two wires together, his eyes darted around the console room, wondering where everybody had got to.

He shrugged it off quickly, reasoning that they’d all crawl out of the woodworks when he least expected it, and pulled himself out of the TARDIS underbelly. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself after that, and decided to start roaming through the corridors. It was always a surprise when he drifted through aimlessly - the TARDIS liked to switch things up so that he never tired. Today he passed the observatory, the library, the Penguin room until, eventually, he drew to a stop in the kitchen.

Glancing around the kitchen, he was almost perturbed when Clara didn't materialise before him, offering everyone copious amounts of coffee and tea. He tugged on his ear, a frown marring his usual cheery expression as he moved towards a cupboard, unsure of what to do with himself without anyone to show off to. He flipped the cupboard open, deft fingers closing around a marmalade jar, and he pulled it out with a triumphant exclamation.

Prising the lid open, he dipped his fingers into the heavenly substance, and licked it off his fingers with a contented smack of his lips. Just as Ten was about to go in for a second helping, someone burst into the kitchen.

"I want to go -"

Amy screeched to a halt, staring at him in disgust. Ten stared back like a deer caught in the headlights, his fingers still in the jar like a culprit caught red-handed.

"That's _disgusting_!" she declared once her brain caught up with her. "Do you do that often?"

"No," Ten said hastily, clasping the lid of the jar and shoving it haphazardly on the nearest island. "Not often. _Well_ , not _very_ often. Well, not quite as often as you think. _Well_..." he trailed off upon realising that Amy looked thoroughly unconvinced.

"He's a liar," Rose said airily as she and Martha traipsed into the kitchen, each carrying an empty bowl. "Used to do it all the time with me."

"Me and all," Martha agreed. "One time, he raided this old lady's biscuit tin."

"He stuck his hand in someone's jar once," Rose added. "Then he just put it back without sayin' sorry."

"Plus the milk incident at your mum's," Amy noted, look extremely appalled. "It really is a track record for every regeneration, isn't it?"

"Oh, now _hang on_ ," Ten tried to protest. "The milk was completely different."

"How?" Amy challenged. Ten spluttered for a moment, trying to think up a plausible excuse, but eventually he just huffed and scathingly insulted the human species, which only seemed to amuse his three bullies. He was well-aware of Rose and Martha's antics, but there was something different about Amy Pond. She was brash, had a way with words, and infuriatingly invoked a bewildering urge in Ten to speak in a Scottish accent as if he were a native. It was most disconcerting.

"Doesn't matter," he finally declared in a small voice, tugging at his ear. "And anyway, where were you three all this time? I had half a mind to think you'd all been transmatted or something."

Rose shuddered visibly at the thought. "No, thanks," she muttered darkly. "We're all in the cinema room. Had a massive marathon."

"Oh yeah? What of, River Monsters?" Ten said cheekily. He chuckled when Amy shot him a reproachful glare.

"Harry Potter, actually," Martha spoke up. "It's weird, there's a character who looks exactly like you." "That's not weird," Ten argued. "Plenty of explanations. Spatial Genetic Multiplicity, impromptu cousins -" he leaned closer to Martha with a knowing smirk. "A secret brother." Martha rolled her eyes in fond remembrance. "In any case, it's a weird coincidence." Ten frowned thoughtfully. "I should give them a watch."

"Hang on mister, what happened to 'what till you read book seven'?" Martha quoted.

"Those were the books, I've never seen the movies!" Ten countered. "And I don't fancy them anymore, given Bill's anecdotes about JK's Twitter..." he cleared his throat awkwardly and rounded on Amy, who seemed to understand when to let him have his moments. "Anyway! What were you saying? You wanted to go somewhere?"

"Shopping," Amy said simply. Ten blanched.

"You want to what?"

"Shopping," she repeated gleefully. "It's been a crazy few days. I need a bit of retail therapy." "But -"

"Shopping!" Rose squealed, bounding closer towards them and linking arms with Amy. "Count me in, Carrot-Top."

"Didn't doubt it, Goldilocks," Amy grinned. "What about you, Martha?"

"No thanks," Martha said gracefully. "Bill's teaching me some quantum physics."

"Bill knows quantum physics?" Ten exclaimed, snapping out of his stupor for a moment.

"Some," Martha conceded, grabbing her refilled bowl of popcorn and stepping out of the kitchen with a warm, "have fun!"

"So," Amy turned back to Ten. "Shopping."

"Can't you ask your one?" he whined, dreading the very thought of scuttling through a tiresome  _mall_.

"No chance, he's still got a lot to talk about with Clara," Rose said deviously. "Anyway, don't be like that!"

"Like what?" Ten screeched defensively.

"Like a teenager who never leaves his room," Amy interjected tartly. "Come on, I've not had a one- on-one with you yet. Ten years of my Doctor, and cannibal pirates with big ears - it's your turn! It could be a great bonding experience."

"Come on, Doctor," Rose pleaded before he could get a word in edgeways. She threaded her fingers through his, and smiled up at him sweetly. Ten scowled, a pink blush staining his cheeks, as he realised there was no possible way he could say no.

"Oh alright," he conceded pitifully. "But only for an hour!"

"No, five," Amy interrupted.

"Five?!" Ten squeaked, his eyes bulging.

"An hour for finding the clothes, another hour for trying them on and purchasing them, and _at least_ two extra for whatever happens cos we've got you as a tour guide."

"Fair enough," Ten sighed, "but that amounts to four hours. I reckon we could cut it down to three." "Five."

"Three."

Amy refused to budge. "Five."

"Three and a half?" "Five."

"Five," Ten threw in nonchalantly, just to try and throw her off, but Amy was sharp, and saw right through his cunning scheme.

"Thanks," she said, patting his shoulder amicably and skipping out of the kitchen with Rose.

"What? No! Hang on!" Ten spluttered haplessly as he gave chase. He followed them around a corner and found himself in the console room. "Now _that_ was a textbook ambush," he grumbled sourly, shooting the TARDIS a distasteful glare.

"Has anyone ever told you you sound like a weasel when you get all high-pitched like that?" Amy questioned cheekily.

"I do, all the time," Donna piped up as she strode into the console room.

Ten glared at them petulantly. "Is this how it's going to be today? Gingers united?" he crowed.

"Count on it, spaceman!" Donna said flippantly. "What are you lot up to anyway?"

"We're going shopping!" Rose declared delightedly. "Wanna come?"

“With him as tour guide?” Donna scoffed. “I’d sooner kiss a Racnoss.”

“I’m not that bad!” the Doctor said defensively.

“I’m not sitting through another science expo with you!”

“You won’t have to,” Amy interjected suddenly. “We’ll throw in a spa day.”

“What?!” Ten spluttered indignantly.

“I’m listening,” Donna spoke over him, suddenly captivated by her fellow redhead.

“Think about it,” Amy said temptingly. “You were almost eaten by cannibals, yeah? Pretty traumatising stuff.”

“Not really, happens all the time,” Donna shrugged.

“Yes, exactly!” the Doctor crowed gratefully. “No need for special treatment -”

“But my last spa day was interrupted because of him,” Donna barrelled on thoughtfully, as if he hadn’t spoken at all. “I’m in,” she decided.

“I didn’t agree to this,” Ten whined.

“I didn’t agree to get beamed up into the TARDIS on my wedding day,” Donna retorted. “We can’t all get what we want.”

“Oh, now, _technically_ it was the Huon particles reacting -”

“Button it spaceman,” Donna interrupted. “And take us shopping!”

Ten glanced at the assembled horde around him, and knew he was outmatched. Never mind Rose’s undeniable puppy eyes, he was quite certain Amy and Donna would force him into a pre-emptive regeneration if given half the chance.

“Fine,” he said sourly. “Fine, I’ll take you shopping!”

Amy and Rose cheered, while Donna simply nodded in satisfaction. The Doctor mentally skimmed through a host of suitable shopping planets that supported human life, and decides on Rainaktrix IV. He tells them as such, and is only met with blank stares; undeterred, he barrels on, telling them all about how it was one of the most prestigious planetary malls in the cosmos, smirking smugly when their faces predictably light up.

With a flourish at the controls, the TARDIS soon landed, and the ladies eagerly piled out. Ten followed at a more sedate pace, grabbing his coat on the way, and almost ran into Donna’s back.

“You said we were going to a _prestigious mall_ ,” Donna spat with acrimony. “We are!”

“No, no, no. Malls have people haring about the place. This place is dead!”

The Doctor frowned, pushing past his three companions to get a better look. Donna was right; all the shops that stretched out as far as his eyes could see were deserted.

“Strange,” he murmured. “Come on.”

They trekked past the various shops. Amy and Donna stopped to peer at a few, but Ten pressed on, Rose loyally at his side.

“Maybe they’re under maintenance or something,” Rose suggested, but it was clear she was just trying to fill the silence.

“No, everything is self-repairing,” Ten explained. “It’s why it’s so popular.”

“Different timestreams?” Amy inquired. “We could be in the wrong one.”

“Rainaktrix IV only has a single timestream,” Ten refuted. “Which leaves only one theory.”

“Something’s gone wrong,” Donna mumbled. “This place is completely dead. We didn’t stumble in on closing day or something, did we?”

“No,” the Doctor said quietly, keeping his voice low as he surveyed the environment. “Planet-wide shutdown doesn’t happen for centuries. Whatever’s here managed to rid an entire planet of people.”

“Vashta Nerada?” Donna broached hesitantly, but the Doctor shook his head.

“Not any shadows,” he pointed out. “Which means we’re dealing with something far deadlier, and far more powerful, and -”

“OI! YOU LOT!” an obnoxious, metallic voice blared, startling the group into a jump. They whirled around to see a portly, metal android hunkering towards them. Its eyes were flashing red, and a metal grille was attached to where its mouth should’ve been. “WHAT’RE YOU DOING HERE?”

“Oh!” the Doctor perked up. “See? That’s more like it, a security bot. Nothing can go wrong with security.”

“It’s a robot.” Rose leaned closer, intrigued, but the Doctor pulled her back protectively. “How come its eyes are flashing?”

“Never mind that, it’s Mall Cop,” Donna corrected. “Literally _Mall Cop_. I thought he’d look fancier or something. One of the most prestigious malls in the cosmos and you’ve brought us to Mall Cop.”

“Careful, Donna, your Sylvia’s showing,” The Doctor teased.

“Oi, Mall Cop!” Amy suddenly bellowed. “Where’d everyone go?”

“GOT RID OF ‘EM, ‘DIN’T I?” Mall Cop bellowed in return. “STUPID CONSUMERS. THEY’RE LIKE CATTLE. IT WAS DEAD EASY.”

“Oh, I don’t like the sound of that,” the Doctor frowned, feeling his hearts sink. “Got rid of them how?” Rose spoke up.

“WHY DON’T I SHOW YOU?” Mall Cop suddenly started to pick up the pace, waving a baton around.

“Doctor?” Amy said hesitantly.

“I know,” the Doctor blindly grabbed for someone’s hand and dragged them along. “ _Run_!”


End file.
